Private Practice
by potionsmaster
Summary: Ex-Navy veteran Shepard starts a new job because he's down on his luck and this fell into his lap, so he figured 'what the hey.' He and his friends play Borderlands, too. Because I need a way of getting my first franchise love in somewhere. Things are finally starting to look up for him...
1. New Beginnings

_**Private Practice**_ , by potionsmaster

Rating: T for language and medical jargon.

A/N: IT'S MASS EFFECT BIG BANG! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Hope you all enjoy! ^_^

Shout-outs and much appreciation:

~ThreeWhiskeyLunch, for being the support system/beta that was always at the ready and just as enthusiastic as me.

~to Mareel, for helping organize the jumble of ideas. And both these fine citizens for insisting on there being much more smut than initially intended. Dirty enablers, both of 'em...we loves you both for it, though, lol.

~to humblydefiant, for checking characterizations and being a sounding board. You helped it be a stronger piece all around ^_^

~to the lady of the hour, Azzy_Darling, for being there for it all with encouragement and in the 11th hour. You're absolutely amazing for your art and all that you did to make this run smoothly. Couldn't do it without such a great support system!

a href=" /darlingazzy/private-practice-made-for-potionsmaster"Link to the Playlist here/a

Summary: Ex-Navy veteran Shepard starts a new job because he's down on his luck and this fell into his lap, so he figured 'what the hey.' He and his friends play Borderlands, too. Because I need a way of getting my first franchise love in somewhere.

* * *

 **Chapter 1** : _New Beginnings_

"Dude, why do we _always_ end up back in Fyrestone? It's so far away from everything..." Joker complained through the headset. The huge berserker on Shepard's screen bolted ahead of his own character Mordecai, cackling maniacally. A derisive snort came from the third player.

"Yes, because everybody knows that you have to walk everywhere in Pandora and there definitely aren't any cars or fast travel capabilities or anything..." Garrus quipped dryly, running his own Mordecai character after Brick. Shepard was glad they had agreed early on to keep their colors different; his was black, red, and white. Garrus had his character decked out in blues and grays.

"Good music, though... _Borderlands_ always has good music," Shepard cut in, opening a couple of containers and picking up the ammo.

"So help me God, if you pick up another bunch of shotgun ammo without telling me about it, I will shit a cow," Joker griped, running back towards Shepard on screen. Shepard responded by having his Mordecai slash Brick with his sword.

"Relax, stud, he's full up. He never uses a shotgun," Garrus responded, opening some more containers and picking up money. "And since when do you? All you do is run around screaming and punching things."

"Bitch, I might!" Joker made Brick swing back at Shepard. The screen fizzled into duel mode, Garrus running around outside the circle helplessly. Shepard immediately started circling Joker's hulking character and smacking him with his sword between pistol shots.

"Rrrr _rrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWHHHHH!_ " Brick raged as he entered berserker mode. Shepard released Bloodwing and slashed at Joker again.

"You know your cute little birdie ain't gonna do a thing to me, right? EAT FIST!"

"Yeah, but he can distract you, fucker...Damn!"

" _AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHH! WWWWWHHHYYYYYYYY, aaaaaauuuuggghh..._ " Mordecai/Shepard yelled as he went down. Mordecai/Garrus stood by, making sure Joker didn't come back to try for a cheap shot.

"What was that about your bird friend? I couldn't hear you over the sound of you dying at my hands," Joker laughed, running off after some skags outside the fence.

"Yeah, yeah..." Shepard grumbled, scrounging in piles of junk for health vials. "7 foot tall behemoth wins by going into a blood rage against a 6 foot guy who probably weighs 150 lbs soaking wet...look at you go, big man. At least Bloodwing is prettier than you."

"With guns like these? Who needs a pretty face?" Joker retorted as he pummeled skags.

"Keep thinking that," Garrus cut in, "Anyway, how are you liking your new job, Shepard?"

"It's...alright. I finally got to meet you in person," he ventured cautiously. Joker worked with Garrus in the IT department at the same orthopedic practice and had been the one to let him know about the opening in the phones/scheduling department. He had been the one to recommend John to human resources, too. Shepard never really thought of himself as exactly 'desperate', but was exceedingly glad the opportunity had come along when it did. "Lot of things to remember, though. All the doctors have different criteria they want followed and rules about when things can be scheduled. And I'm having dreams about the acronyms and insurance cards. Rx, cx, sx, tx, DNB, AMA, PCP..."

"The world couldn't contain that much awesome if we had met outside the game previously. When do you start answering calls on your own, tell me again?"

"This upcoming week; I already went through training with the supervisor and listened in to a bunch of calls. They let me actually navigate the programs used, too. It's nuts. I never knew how much utter _crap_ went into just scheduling an appointment. Wanna do one of the DLC's?"

Brick came running back from the gully, no more skags to beat into a pulp.

"Dr. Zed's! _Please_ can we do Dr. Zed's? I feel the need to punch zombies," Joker said. "And that's kinda par for the course, Shepard. You're used to rules and regs. You just don't have to salute and carry an actual gun for these. You'll be great. Here – peace offering." He dropped a sniper rifle at Mordecai/Shepard's feet. Shepard picked it up and brought up his menu, comparing stats.

"It's Dr. _Ned's_ , Joker...Dr. Zed's evil twin with the taped-on mustache, remember?" Garrus pointed out. "And besides: the rules for scheduling are always kept updated and are on the intranet if you need them. I hear Dr. Anderson is pretty laid back. Dr. Solus is picky, but his wait list is huge."

Shepard toggled the fast travel network to bring them to Jakob's Cove in the game. The narrator, Marcus, launched into a new story about how zombies had taken over that section and needed to be eradicated.

"I guess that's what happens when you're the top knee and hip replacement revisionist in the state...they all have their quirks. I didn't know doctors could specifically not see certain patients. Did you guys know Dr. Lawson absolutely refuses to see any postal workers? And she requires a referral from the primary care doctor regardless of insurance."

"Huh. Guess I never really thought about it, but I suppose if they don't like seeing a certain problem, they've earned the right not to have it scheduled with them." Garrus started off down the path, sending his Bloodwing ahead to take care of any zombies. Joker toggled his berserker mode again and dashed ahead, fists smashing any undead he found.

"Dr. Alenko is one of the easier docs, though...he's general and you can pretty much put anything on him. Just have to ask him first if he's willing to see a few things," Shepard continued, opening containers and cleaning up the straggling zombies that cropped up.

"I hear him, Dr. Anderson, and Dr. Michel all don't mind much. Dr. Hackett can be pretty particular, too," Joker said, activating turrets around the overrun town. Garrus went to the bounty board and collected their missions.

"Um, only about certain things. He won't see any car accidents in litigation, but neither does Lawson. And he just sticks to the 'general' stuff. Shoulders, knees, hips. No backs, no necks, no wrists or ankles. Definitely no hands or feet," Shepard clarified as he sniped a few zombies that escaped the turrets.

"Sounds like you remember pretty well. Hey, don't pick up the brains yet! We need those for later. Think you'll have any problems?" Garrus asked."

"Naw...they gave me a cheat sheet of who sees what body part along with other stuff. It's a whole little binder they put together. It has all sorts of random info, like local hospital phone numbers, a list of pharmacies, what medications are scheduled drugs and what aren't...it's crazy."

"That's why I work IT...I _get_ computers. That just sounds too complicated to me," Joker said. Garrus snickered over the headset at him.

"You also don't mind the fact that you work for an orthopedic practice, with all your issues...doctors all write it off, right?"

"If you had brittle bone disease, you would see what a serious incentive it is to keep the boss-man happy there. Besides, they all love me. Who do they call every time they have a network issue? Me. Who do they call whenever a fuckin' printer jams? You. There's a reason for that."

"Just because I prefer to get my hands dirty and actually re-calibrate them when they're out of alignment...would you STOP punching TK Baha in the head?! He's already undead and you can't kill him anyway!"

"...'Disease' is shortened to 'dz' and diagnosis is 'dx' for shorthand...case you ever needed to write something to the nurses," Shepard said quietly. He left the two of them bickering over who got a base level pistol and retrieved more brains.

"Dude, have you ever heard of the phrase, 'don't take your work home with you'? Because you failed. In an epic way. And besides, now I have you to talk to the nurses for me if I need an appointment or a refill. That's the whole reason why I told you about it. So I would have an inside man."

On-screen, Brick bolted straight into the thick of a massive horde and just started throwing punches left and right. Mordecai/Garrus hung back, the sharp report of his sniper echoing. " _BOOM! Hehehehehehehe..._ " his character muttered after a particularly difficult headshot.

"Quit stealing my kills, man!"

"Awww, you mean a quick trigger finger and amazing accuracy beats out blind flailing? Do you even _try_ to punch them in the head? That's the only way we get brains for TK," came the dry retort. Shepard laughed as he sent Bloodwing out into the fray. Mordecai/Garrus circled Brick and peppering him with pistol shots. Joker was trying to face him and to land a fist or five, but Garrus kept facing the hulking berserker's back.

"Y'know, you could learn something from this, Shepard..." Joker casually said as his character bellowed in blood rage again and charged off. "That's how you could beat me in a duel."

"I'll keep that in mind. I gotta get off, guys... Samara wants everybody in their seat and logged in by 0800 sharp. I don't want to make a bad impression," he said. Joker blew a raspberry at him over the headset.

"Fine, be that way. Though I don't know how you could make a worse impression than your second day...who the hell gets lost on their second day of work?"

"Was _that_ why you printed a map with directions this week? Greg thought you might actually be planning to set up an AI in the servers and were working out where all the junction boxes were," Garrus said.

"Tell Overlord Adams no AI's this time; besides, he should stick to supervising the IT department, not my hobbies. And yes, I delivered it to Shepard in the crow's nest. Even Samara cracked a smile."

"She seems to take her job very seriously...though she was interested in how we knew each other before."

"Did you tell her it's because my sister had a huge crush on you and you were actually trying to get into _my_ pants, so she would invite you over and yeah?"

"Ass. No. I told her we went to the same school growing up. You know what her response was?"

"I'll bet it was a good one," Garrus said. They could hear him shifting over the headset.

"She said, 'I'm sorry...that must have been...quite the experience for you.' It's like she knows you or something," Shepard chuckled.

"She did _not_!" Joker replied indignantly, "And I would throw something at you if we were in the same room."

"And then he'd have to schedule you with Dr. Massani to fix your broken arm," Garrus jabbed at him.

"I thought Doc Massani only saw kids... _hey_!" comprehension dawned in Joker's voice, "You want me to tell Tali that the reason her favorite purple scarf is missing is because you spilled your juice box on it and wanted to clean it for her?"

Shepard heaved a sigh.

"Alright, guys, really...I should go. They tell me Mondays are always bad in the call center and I actually want to keep this job. See you guys tomorrow. Don't get too far ahead, please."

"Byyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

" _RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGHH!_ " Brick screamed as Mordecai/Garrus challenged him to a duel and Shepard signed off.

* * *

Kaidan sighed, rubbing the back of his wrist across his forehead as he looked at x-rays on the screen. Jack leaned over the desk, peering at the black and white image. The anterior cruciate ligament was torn clean off the tibia.

"Ouch," she said. "MRI? How the hell has this guy been walking on it so long?"

"He's been wearing a brace he got at a drug store. Put the order in to precert, please. Try to get him on in the next couple of days. I need to see if there's any meniscal damage, too. Bet you lunch it's a positive McMurray."

"Not touching that one, Doc. How'd the meeting go, by the way? Punch Anoleis in the face yet?"

He huffed a laugh at that and closed out of the program, pulling up Conrad Verner's other office notes.

"You keep putting that idea in my head, I might actually do it one of these days. It was alright. Nothing's for certain yet, but he's still trying to plan a merger with Cerberus. All I know is the Alliance Hospital skipped on their proposal and I can't see how us merging would benefit our practice. Normandy Orthopedics has a contract with Alliance and if we do a deal with Cerberus and they don't, what does that mean? I don't like it."

"My hero. Fuck Cerberus. They can all crawl in a hole and die for all I care. Why does Lawson want to consider it, anyway? She's like their fuckin' cheerleader or something."

He shrugged at her.

"I think Miranda knows the CEO. Tim? I don't know his name. I haven't had a chance to sit and talk with her about it. All I know is he makes some radical business moves and I don't agree with them. Since she's also the company president –"

" _Uh...Jack?_ " a hesitant voice piped up from the desk.

"Just a minute, jellybean. Lemme finish this form, then I'll get to you."

Kaidan glanced over at the phone intercom display. He didn't recognize the voice. _IC from John_. Must be a new hire in Phones.

"Something I can help you with?"

" _Um, maybe...it's really something for the nurses_."

"Why don't you try me? I might be able to help."

" _I gotta have her ask Dr. Alenko if it's ok to put this patient on his schedule. It's a sore lower back, PCP referral_."

Kaidan grinned at his nurse and she smirked back, pen pausing over her clipboard.

"Ask him yourself. I'm busy right now."

" _Ok, um. Samara said we have to go through the nurses for stuff like this, though_."

"You're already talkin' to him, genius; why do you need me?"

" _OH!_ _Uh...hi...Doctor. Would you...want to...see this one_?"

Jack rolled her lips inwards, trying not to laugh as she went back to her chart. Kaidan shook his head in amusement.

"Well, I dunno. Tell me a bit more about it. Do we have any x-rays or other diagnostics? How long has it been going on? How'd it happen?"

There was an uncomfortable pause and some papers being shuffled. Clearly Samara had impressed on him that they weren't supposed to bother the doctors, ever. He didn't like how unapproachable that made him seem, but with the way some of the other doctors were, he understood.

" _Hang on, I – I think I have some of it here –_ "

"Tell you what. Do you still have them still on the phone?"

" _Yeah_."

"Talk to them again, ask them for the info, then ring back down. If either of us are still here, we'll tell you. If not, put it in a note and send it to Jack."

" _Ok._ "

"Don't forget to ask about insurance! I _hate_ when you guys don't do that; then we get a patient in the room who can't pay us anything," Jack griped at him. Kaidan rolled his eyes at her.

"Jack, don't scare the new guy. Anything else you need, John?" he asked.

" _No...thanks, Doctor. I'll get what you need._ "

"Thanks a bunch. Nice to talk to you, John. Welcome aboard."

" _You too, sir...I mean, nice to talk to you, too. You're already working here, so –_ "

"Hang up, we don't got all day. Places to be, people to stick with needles."

"JACK!" Kaidan said, exasperated. She held out the clipboard to him and he took it from her, glancing at the phone again. Nobody was on the other end anymore.

"What? It's true! MRI precert submitted, by the way. Super cute how nervous all the newbies are about you doctor-types."

Kaidan sighed again as he knocked on the door, then entered.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Verner! So after reviewing the images..."

* * *

Shepard leaned back in his chair and pulled his earpiece off, exhaling slowly. Samara glanced at him, then put her call on hold.

"Are you alright, John?"

"I think so. I just, uh, talked to Dr. Alenko. And Jack."

"Oh? Did something happen?"

"No! I don't think so, at least. I just had a question and he answered me directly. I wasn't expecting that."

Samara nodded, pursing her lips.

"I see. Dr. A is one of nicer ones to talk to. You'll figure out pretty quick who's available and who's not. Just don't bother the doctors unless you have no other option. And some of the nurses will try to skimp out on doing what they're supposed to. Just be persistent."

"Got it..."

She turned back to her call, leaving him still quaking in his seat. He tried the dictation room for pod 8 again, but no answer. He typed what he found in a message in the patient's chart, then forwarded it to Jack. He'd be happy if nothing else that nerve-wracking happened the rest of the day.


	2. Where Everybody Knows Your Name

_**Private Practice**_ , by potionsmaster

Rating: T for language and drinking in a bar

A/N: I'm fighting the instinct to make this a slow burn. You're welcome.

Summary: It's a small world in Normandy, what can I say.

* * *

 **Chapter 2** : _Where Everybody Knows Your Name_

Shepard slid onto the bar stool with a sigh. He'd been in the new job for about a month and hadn't had any more conversations with any doctors, which he supposed was a good thing. Samara was happy with him so far; she flat out said she never had a phone operator smooth over issues with problem patients so well before and told him he missed his calling as a diplomat. He gave her a tight smile at that. He had been an unofficial mediator in his squad when he served. The skill was applicable, it seemed.

"Is that really... _woooow_! It's _you_!"

The stool next to him scraped on the floor as it was pulled out and a medium-tall blonde man plopped himself on it, leg stuck straight out.

"Hey, Conrad. How's it going?"

"Not too bad, Shepard. Where've you been? Bar's been lonely without you lately..." the man nodded at the bartender. The burly, scarred guy came towards them, tossing a towel over his shoulder. Shepard always thought James' too-tight shirt was going to rip if he flexed too much.

" _Hola_ , Squirrely. How're you today? The usual suds for you and Commander Mopey over here?"

Shepard raised an eyebrow at that.

"I am not mopey, thanks. Nor a commander."

"Sorry-not-sorry, _Loco_ , but you are in my books. And you look like it, too. Haven't seen you in a while... Rough day today?" He filled two mugs from the tap and placed them in front of the men. Conrad smacked his lips appreciatively before taking a sip and getting foam in his mustache. Shepard sighed.

"Not really, just long. Finally got a little bit of breathing room; been at my job for about a month now."

Conrad blinked at him dreamily, making him a little uncomfortable.

"...can I help you, Conrad?"

"No, I'm just glad you're back. It's nice to see a hero like you around. You just make me feel better when you're here."

Shepard raised his eyebrow higher.

"I'm just like any other soldier, nothing special. Medical discharge, and that's all she wrote. What happened to your knee, by the way?"

"This?" Conrad asked, gesturing theatrically to the leg he had propped. "Torn ACL...Doc says if it doesn't improve on its own by my next appointment, we'll have to look at surgery. It's just so hard to remember the restrictions, though...I have to patrol my block for the neighborhood watch, and I hurt it by running after a perp."

Shepard chuckled behind a sip of his beer. "Sounds exciting. Did you catch him?"

"Well, it turned out it was a raccoon that was messing with some trash cans. But I haven't seen it since, so I guess that's good."

James snorted as he wiped the bar and tidied the garnishes. The phone rang in the background.

"Varmint doesn't know what's comin' to him with you around, Squirrely. The world needs more people like you to keep it safe," he said, tossing the used towel into a pile and heading towards the jangling phone.

"This is _The Citadel_ , how can I help you?" he said, walking away. Shepard fiddled with his napkin and debated ordering food while Conrad happily babbled about his other neighborhood watch escapades and successful thwarts of mischief. He was only half paying attention, nodding along and making noncommittal noises at the appropriate times. The bar was starting to fill up and get noisier.

A shadow loomed over them as James came back, shaking his head with an amused smile.

"Yo, Squirrely...the little woman called and wants you to bring home dinner. Stat. You ordering here?"

"I better not this time...last time I got what I thought she wanted and she didn't want any of it and I had to go get something else," Conrad said glumly, finishing his beer. He pushed himself off the stool and threw a few bills on the table. "Hey, James? Next one for Shepard's on me...Good to see you again, pal. We missed you here."

"Same, Conrad. Good to be back. Thanks for the drink." He gave a small salute to the limping man's figure disappearing into the crowd. James watched him leave, then filled another mug for Shepard.

"Weird little dude, but he tips good. Here ya go."

Shepard just shook his head and turned towards the new beer. He was jostled from behind, making it slosh a bit.

"Oh, sorry! Someone knocked me into you; I was coming over for a stool. Is this one taken?"

He turned, scowl firmly in place while shaking off his wet hand and met warm, dark eyes. An apologetic smile played on the other man's lips as he slid onto the empty stool.

"Damn, I'm really...wow, I'm sorry."

Their gaze locked and the man bit his lower lip. Shepard felt his expression soften a bit.

"S'alright, it happens. No big deal."

"If I make you spill your drink again, I'll buy a replacement, how about that?"

The smile grew and he offered a hand. Shepard huffed a laugh and shook more beer off his hand, shaking his head.

"Sounds good, but I don't want to get your hand wet."

"Fitting punishment for spilling your drink, then, uh...what's your name?" The man grasped his hand firmly and pumped it up and down a couple of times. The handshake matched the easy smile. He couldn't help smiling back. James tossed a clean towel at him to wipe his hand.

"Shepard." He smeared his hand across the towel, then held it out to the brown eyed man.

"Nice you meet you. Just 'Shepard'? No first name? I'm Kaidan."

"Just Shepard. I'm more used to being called that than anything else." James glanced between the two of them and cleared his throat.

"What can I get for you, Blue?" he said, looming over the bar, shirt straining over his muscular shoulders. Kaidan leaned against the polished surface, folding the towel neatly and shoving back to James after he was done.

"Uh, the usual shot of whiskey and a good ol' Canadian lager is just fine, thanks."

Both Shepard and the bartender raised an eyebrow at it.

"Whatever you say, _jefe_...to each their own."

The shot and bottle were shoved across the bar to him. He nodded his thanks and toasted Shepard with the whiskey, then tossed it back with barely a wince. Shepard whistled.

"Looks like you have practice at that. Bad day?"

Kaidan smiled at his beer bottle, peeling the label a bit. He gave a tiny shrug and took a sip before answering.

"No different than usual, I suppose. Another day, another bad decision by the CEO that I don't like. I'm fighting it, though. I think I can get some of my colleagues to agree with me. Worst decision was hiring him. How about you?"

He took another swallow of his beer and went back to fiddling with the bottle. Shepard watched his hands, neat and well-kept, and figured he must be one of the businessmen types who got manicures. Too damn fussy for his tastes. They did look rather nice, though. It suited him.

"Seems like it'd be hard to stay in business if the head guy always makes bad decisions. My day was alright, just long."

Kaidan smiled warmly at him again, face lighting up.

"We're not hurting for business; let's just say the decisions he makes aren't the ones I personally would. But that's why I'm not in charge. I don't do business stuff well."

Shepard peered at him interestedly over the rim of his mug.

"Oh? What do you do?"

Another self-deprecating smile and sip.

"I, uh...fix things...I like working with my hands. How about you?"

"I work in a call center. It's a living. What do you fix?"

Kaidan furrowed his brows over his beer.

"Oh, this and that...People come to me with their problems and I do what I can to fix 'em." He took a sip. Shepard scoffed.

"That's still pretty vague."

"I like to let people speculate. It's interesting to see what people come up with. So a call center? Not what I would have pictured for such a well-built guy like you, but it takes all kinds, I guess," he chuckled. Shepard tossed a shoulder, but smiled at himself.

"Yeah, I didn't picture it, either. Never thought I'd end up doing it after getting out of the service."

He glanced at him, then nodded towards the dog tags Shepard was wearing. "I _did_ notice your chain and wanted to ask...what branch do you serve?"

"I'm impressed; not many people do. Navy. Well...ex-Navy. Made it to lieutenant before getting out."

He looked over at the dark-haired man. Kaidan was nodding thoughtfully, taking another swig of his beer.

"Well, what do you know? I was with the Marines until I was medically discharged. Gotta love migraines..."

"Huh," Shepard said, running his tongue over a canine. "How about that. Sucks about the migraines, though. Sorry to hear that."

Kaidan grinned at him and spun his bottle on the polished wooden surface.

"How'd you get out?" he asked, "You don't have to say if you don't want; it's fine if you don't."

"Also medical discharge, but I think it was trumped up. I was on the fast track to make it to lieutenant commander, but my CO didn't necessarily like me. They dumped me when I was 25. I was set to be a career man, but you know how it goes." Shepard finished his beer and shoved the mug across for James, signaling for another. The burly man nodded and poured another mug, placing it in front of Shepard.

"Damn. That's, uh...that's really rough, Shepard. Sorry to hear that, too. Ooo-rah." Kaidan tipped his bottle towards the mug. "To being medically fucked up to the people in charge, but fine otherwise." Shepard clinked it with his beer.

"Hoo-yah."

They both drank deeply, lost in their thoughts. Kaidan put his bottle down and reached for the bowl of snacks, elbow knocking into the beer. He scrambled to keep the bottle upright and wound up knocking the bowl over instead. He shook his head, biting his lip again.

"Real smooth, there, Blue...please don't try to do any other fancy tricks tonight. I don't think the bar has enough insurance for the property damage!" came the snarky comment from the other side of the bar.

"Fuck you, too, James!" he called back as he gathered the nuts into a pile, ears red. Shepard chuckled.

"So do you fix things because you break them first?" he teased. Kaidan snorted.

"Job security, I suppose, but no. Besides making fun of strangers you just met in a bar, what do you do for fun?" he said playfully, waggling his eyebrows at the blue eyed man.

Shepard quirked an eyebrow at him, taking a slow draught of his beer.

"Mostly play video games with a couple of buddies of mine. It's a challenge finding something we all like."

"I bet. Which console and games? We might have similar tastes."

"Xbox. Left 4 Dead, Borderlands...Halo. That type of thing."

Kaidan nodded along, peeling the label off his bottle again. The music pounded in the background.

"What about Fable, or Skyrim, or stuff like that? Do you play those?"

"Mmm...not so much," Shepard replied around a drink, "But I do like Skyrim when I need a break from all the space-themed games. Like Galaxy of Fantasy."

The empty beer bottle thumped as it was knocked over. Kaidan stared at him.

"...I _love_ Galaxy of Fantasy," he said. "The way it makes you think, and how fleshed out all the NPCs are...just really well done. I can't remember how many times I've played it; I always find something new."

Shepard turned towards him, leaning his elbow against the bar.

"No shit...wonder if we've ever crossed paths in it before. That would be something, alright."

"Small galaxy after all," Kaidan chuckled, "Wouldn't that be weird if we've met already and didn't know it. Aw, crap, is that the time?" He caught sight of the clock next to one of the neon signs behind James. He pushed the stool back and slid off, pulling out his wallet. "Sorry, gotta run. Early appointment tomorrow. It was nice to meet you, Shepard. Hope I see you around again. You brightened my day."

He gave a small nod to Shepard as he made his way to the cash register. James came back to him after the dark-haired man left and smirked.

"You flirting with him, _Loco_? Never seen him take to anybody like that before. Or you, for that matter..."

"Even if I was, I don't think he'd be interested. I think he was just lonely and looking for someone to talk to. I just have one of those 'talk to me' faces, I guess," Shepard dismissed, feeling heat rise up the back of his neck.

Vega laughed as he wiped down the bar, shaking his head.

"Don't be too sure, man. I've never seen Blue in here with anybody before, and he usually doesn't talk to many people. When he comes in, I mean, he gets his shot of whiskey and Canadian beer, then is usually gone. I wouldn't exactly call him a regular, but he's here often enough."

"I'm not in the habit of picking up strays."

"Neither is he, for what it's worth. Not that I've seen, anyway. You know how much shit I see here."

"Yeah. Why do you call him 'Blue'?"

James blinked at him, polishing a few glasses.

"You didn't see or hear when he pulled up? Dude has a blue Porsche. Thing is pretty sweet."

Shepard whistled in appreciation.

"Wasn't exactly expecting that, but he did mention a CEO he didn't like. Know what he does specifically? He said he 'fixed stuff' and worked with his hands."

"I dunno. Lawyer? Sales guy? Construction foreman? That'd be using his hands. And they make bank, too."

Shepard snorted, "I dunno. I'm going to say Mafia hit man and that's that. People 'come to him with problems' and he 'takes care of them'." He finished his drink and pulled out his own wallet.

* * *

"Hey, Doc, what's got you so damn chipper this morning?" Jack asked, rolling her eyes. Kaidan smirked at her, trying not to blush. That guy's eyes from last night were haunting his memory in how intensely blue they were.

"I had a better night than I thought I would."

"Did you get laid? That always puts me in a decent mood."

"Couldn't prove it by the way you act around me. And not that it's any of your business, but no."

She laughed and threw her pen at him. He playfully tossed it back at her.

"Careful, Hawkeyes! You'll mark me!"

"Like anyone could tell with all your tattoos, Jack."

" _I_ could tell, asshole. That should be reason enough."

Kaidan tapped the computer screen showing hip x-rays, trying to direct his thoughts back on task. That guy, Shepard, was it? His shy smile was replaying constantly in his mind.

"That any way to talk to the person who pays you? I'm thinking this one just needs water and ice therapy; I don't see any structural damage. Off sports for the next three weeks, then see back in the office. What kind of a name is 'Grunt', anyway?"

Jack snickered behind her clipboard.

"Take it up with Wrex. He asked to have him scheduled with you."

"No thanks, I like life. Why didn't he have him scheduled with his own doctor?"

"He's a float. But he likes it when he covers you. Says you're easy to fluster."

"Can you blame me? Guy's huge...makes me wonder what made him decide to be a nurse."

Jack laughed again.

"And his kid is just like him. Probably why he plays football. Anyway, Grunt's real name must be boring, like yours. Still cracks me up that your first name is 'Michael.' I'd go by your middle name, too. Much more interesting."

"Whatever you say, Jack," Kaidan rolled his eyes and flipped the screen off.

"I mean, think about it! You go by 'Kaidan' outside the office, but 'Dr. Michael K. Alenko' professionally. Don't you think that's kind of weird?"

"No. And I'll thank you in advance for leaving it alone."

"...can I call you 'Mikey'?"

He stared at her, one eyebrow arched in disdain.

"I'm gonna do it anyway, so you might as well just say 'yes,' Doc."

Kaidan swatted her with the clipboard as they made their way towards the exam room.

"If you think that's the best way to get my attention, go for it. Can't guarantee I'll respond."

"Hey, Mikey! He likes it! He really likes it!" Jack quipped before sticking her tongue out at him, opening the exam room door with her butt. He rolled his eyes and entered the room.

"So Mr. Urdnot..."


	3. Near Misses

_**Private Practice**_ , by potionsmaster

Rating: T for language and yet more drinking in a bar

A/N: And the plot thickens

Summary: They just can't seem to connect

* * *

 **Chapter 3** : _Near Misses_

Kaidan tapped his pen rapidly against his desk while he spoke into his recorder, dictating the last evaluation of the afternoon. Jack fixed him with a 'look'. He ended the eval and hit the 'stop record' button, rushing to gather up his coat.

"You know Edi is going to have a cow if she can't hear half of what you said for her to transcribe, right? Even Princess Perfect doesn't like to get on her bad side."

"Jack…." he warned, "Leave Miranda alone. And if Transcription is pissed at me because they can't hear it, I'll tell them we need to upgrade to apps on our phones instead of the archaic machines they have us using right now. Seriously, nobody at the hospital uses these things anymore…" He shoved the dictaphone at her. "You're going upstairs, right? Put it back on the charger for me? Please? Please, pleaseplease, pleeeeease?"

She rolled her eyes at him as he drew out the word and pulled on his coat, pulling his keys out of his pocket.

"Quit making fun of me, Doc. You got a hot date or something? It's only 5:20...why're you bolting out the door?"

"Dinner plans….gotta stop home and change first, though."

"Uh-huh. You never have dinner plans...more like you probably got a new game waiting for you at the Game Shop that you have no time to play."

"Yeah, no...and that's only happened-"

"Every game you've bought since I've known you? Why do you even bother?" she interrupted, folding her arms across her chest and smirking at him. Kaidan gave her a small salute as he started down the hall to the west exit.

"Hand-eye coordination skills, increased reaction time, and mental acuity...studies show that playing about three hours a week improve reaction time and surgeons' fine motor skills. All for the betterment of the patients."

"You are _such_ a bullshitter!" Jack called after him. Her cell phone pinged with a text.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _17:26_ : Not bullshitting. Here's the link. See you next week; have a good one

She groaned as she saw the wall of html in the next one and started typing back.

 _ **Jack**_ _17:28_ : ok, nerd. still not gonna read it. don't forget ur on trauma call at Alliance this sat. got ur pager?

 _ **Kaidan**_ _17:29_ : Yep. Yet another obsolete piece of tech this field refuses to give up. Thanks again.

* * *

The door banged shut behind him as Kaidan hurried into his condo, tossing his keys on the kitchen counter. He wanted to change and get to the bar; Shepard had been in the back of his mind all week and he hoped he would see him there tonight. He dashed upstairs to his bedroom and ensuite bathroom, shedding his scrubs as he went in a haphazard trail. A quick shower and some comfortable jeans saw him back on his way out.

Kaidan paused in the kitchen, debating if he was acting like a school boy with a crush. He reached out for his keys, then drew his hand back. Maybe he was a _little_ infatuated, sure. No different than if he saw him randomly in the street and thought he was attractive. Except he actually talked to him and hadn't completely brushed him off.

He snatched his keys up off the counter before he could change his mind; it was a crap shoot on if they would run into each other anyway.

* * *

 _The Citadel_ was loud and crowded as Kaidan fought his way to the bar. James' distinctive laugh rang out over the thumping music. It was easy to pick out his hulking form in his customary white t-shirt, walking back and forth behind the polished wooden surface. Kaidan managed to squeeze into a small opening, leaning against it.

"Hey, Blue! Two weeks in a row! To what do we owe this honor?" James yelled happily. "The usual shot and beer for ya?"

"Hey, Vega. Yeah, if you please. Hey, um-"

"No way! _Doc_!? What're you doing here? It's good to see you out and about," a familiar voice rang out. Kaidan froze for a second, then turned around. The huge form of the bartender had already turned around to prep the drinks, shaking his head. Conrad Verner limped over while putting on his jacket.

"Good to see you!" he smiled brightly, extending his hand. "But please, call me Kaidan outside the office…"

"You got it! So what brings you down to this neck of the woods?" Conrad beamed at him, shaking his hand vigorously. Just then James came back with the drinks.

"I was hoping to run into somebody I met last week. Kinda silly, I guess, but I'd like to talk to him again. He was interesting to meet," Kaidan said, grasping his whiskey. James raised an eyebrow.

"Kinda tall guy, buzzed hair?" he asked, wiping the bar top. "Sorta handsome?" Kaidan felt heat on the back of his neck and tried not to blush.

"Uh, yeah...name of Shepard, I think-"

"Shepard? You just missed him!" Conrad broke in again, leaning on the bar. "He's definitely a nice guy. He's always interested in what I've been up to lately. I'm happy for him; he just recently got a new job. Things are looking up for him. He deserves it. Yeah..." Kaidan quirked an eyebrow at him. "He's a really nice guy. Hero, too. Navy." The burly bartender got called away by another patron shouting for a refill.

"Be right back, _amigos_ , duty calls." Kaidan turned to face the blonde man and spun the shot on the bar, toying with it. He didn't really want a patient to see him drink hard liquor.

"So what _have_ you been doing lately? Not staying off your knee like you're supposed to?" he chided amicably. Conrad grinned sheepishly, glancing off to the side.

"I just forget. With the brace, I can move better."

"Yeah, but you're also compromising the healing it's supposed to be doing. You keep re-traumatizing the injury and it's never going to heal," Kaidan protested. "Anyway, I didn't come here to talk shop. So you know Shepard?"

Conrad blinked at him and got a dreamy, far-off smile on his face.

"Oh yeah! Me and Shepard? We go waaaaay back...buy him a drink every time he's in here, practically," he bragged, "Oh, but I gotta go...Next time I see him, I'll tell him you were looking for him."

"Thanks, Conrad. Appreciate it," Kaidan said, watching him hobble away. Surgery was imminent, he just knew it. Some people never learned. He sighed and tossed back the shot, feeling a little down. There wasn't much point for him to stay if Shepard had already been and gone. James loomed over him again.

"Shepard, huh?" he grinned at Kaidan. "Why you wanna know?"

"He's an interesting character. I'd like to get to know him better. Maybe get a new buddy to game with online." Kaidan rolled his lips inward and grabbed his beer.

"Uh-huh. You know, he was asking about you after you left last week…"James glanced at him slyly, wiping a couple of mugs before putting them in the freezer. Kaidan raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, really?" He tried for nonchalance as the heat rose under his collar again. "What about?" The bartender snorted.

"Aw, y'know. This and that."

"That's very informative, Vega. Thanks."

"I'm just messin' with you, Blue. He was asking what you did for a living and why I call you 'Blue'."

Kaidan took a pull from his beer.

"Why _do_ you call me 'Blue'?" he asked, furrowing his brows again. James grinned again, throwing his towel over his shoulder.

"Because you always look kinda sad. Y'know, 'blue'. Except when you started talking to him."

"Right," Kaidan said skeptically, "You're full of it. I can tell because your eyes are brown."

"So're yours, _jefe_. It's because your ride is blue, if you really wanna know. And it fits you. 'Kaidan' is a mouthful." Kaidan chuckled around his beer.

"Whatever you say, James. If you see him, tell him I say, 'hey,' would you?"

Vega held out his fist, waiting for Kaidan to bump it with his own. He did after a moment, blinking. The burly man laughed at the awkwardness.

"You betcha."

* * *

Shepard toyed with his fork, looking out the windows in the lunchroom. February in the Midwest was always bleak and dreary. It had been a few weeks since he met the dark-haired man at the bar and he found his thoughts straying to his easy smile. The last time he'd been at the bar, Vega said he'd been asking about him and Conrad hadn't even managed to scare him off.

"I'm going to steal your fruit cup if you don't stop staring wistfully out the window," a sarcastic voice interrupted as a chair was pulled out next to him. Shepard rolled his eyes.

"If you want a fork wound in your hand along with all your other problems, go right ahead," he quipped. Joker heaved a sigh as he lowered himself into the molded plastic chair.

"Uh-oh, my life's been threatened by plasticware. Though with my luck, it probably would cripple me worse. Dr. Solus would never forgive me. Actually...he would, because then he could do some more experimental stuff. I think Doc Anderson would just laugh," came the glum response. "What's got you so model-thoughtful?"

Shepard snorted, balling up his napkin and tossing it on the empty frozen lunch package.

"You remember I told you about that guy? At the bar?"

"I believe you used the term 'Ex-Marine with the dreamboat eyes'...correct me if I'm wrong."

"Fuck you. It was late." His ears burned.

"Whatever, Shepard, I thought it was hilarious. So? What about him?"

"Well, last Friday, I went back. Kinda hoped to see him, but he didn't show. So Vega, the bartender-"

"Didn't you used to have a huge crush on him, too?" Joker grinned, snatching at the fruit cup. Shepard swiped it off the table before he could grab it.

"That was eons ago...seriously, shut up. Besides, there's this other guy who's been coming around, Steve? He's pretty handsome. Unusual, too. Blue eyes but really dark otherwise. He's been flirting pretty heavily with Vega."

"Too bad...you should've swept him off his muscle-y feet when you had the chance."

"Naw, it's ok. I don't think Vega's interested one way or another. I think he flirts to get tips and doesn't care who it's with. Anyway, he said he was asking about me and somehow Conrad didn't weird him out."

Joker looked impressed.

"That's encouraging! You have to admit, though, it _is_ a bit weird how Conrad's such a fanboy of you...kinda surprised he didn't start a Shepard fan-club on the internet. But Mr. Dreamboat Marine asking about you is a good thing, right?"

"I dunno…" Shepard fiddled with the napkin again, shaking his head. "Could be anything. I mean, we talked about both being military and being into video games. He probably just wants another guy to fill out his team online or something. Though he didn't mention Call of Duty or anything like that...more fantasy-type games. I'm going back tonight. Maybe I'll run into him."

"Right. Well, if he plays Borderlands, a fourth in the party wouldn't be unwanted. Though if I'm stuck with _three_ Mordecai's, I think I'll save myself the trouble and just strangle myself with my headset."

Shepard rolled his eyes and stood up, clearing his place. Joker struggled to his feet and glared at him when he offered help. They started off down the hallway and turned right into a big room of cubicles.

"I don't think we'd miss you much."

"Oooh, ouch. This place'd fall apart without me. Jerk."

Shepard pursed his lips, glancing at all the people focused on their computers typing and talking on the phone softly. Joker had called the cubicles 'the bullpen' and were where the inner workings of the practice were housed. Too complicated for him, he decided as they reached the door to Scheduling.

"Somehow I think we'd survive. I'll see you later."

"We're still on for tomorrow night, right? Crawmerax farming? Dibs on the ledge, mo-fo."

Shepard rolled his eyes as he opened the door.

"Only because you can run faster, asshole. And yeah, we're on. Remind Garrus, will you?"

"Yeah, yeah...if you see the Dream Marine, feel free to invite him." Joker laughed at Shepard's ears turning pink while he disappeared through the door.

* * *

Shepard leaned glumly on the polished wooden surface of the bar, staring at his mug of beer while kicking the rung on his barstool. The Friday night crowd swirled around him, leaving him to his drink. Vega peered at him every few minutes in between serving tipsy customers shouting along with the jukebox.

"Ah, _Loco_ , don't worry. He'll turn up again. Blue usually shows up every few weeks. If I had to guess, tonight's got as good a chance as any that he will."

"That's not what I'm bummed about."

"Oh no? Then what?" James snapped his fingers and winked at him. "Must be because Conrad's not around. Right? Right? Yeah…"

He was saved from replying when someone plunked down on the stool next to him, pulling off a jacket and tossing it over the back of the tall chair.

"Is this seat taken?" a familiar, husky voice said breathlessly. Shepard glanced at the man and felt a small flash of nerves skitter from his stomach. Kaidan blew on his hands to try and warm them up, giving him a sidelong look. "It's cold out there, eh?" Vega snorted as he fought a smile and popped the top off his usual lager, shoving the bottle at him.

"If you say so, Captain Canada. One whiskey shot, coming right up." The burly man winked at Shepard again once his back was turned on Kaidan to get the other drink. Shepard felt his ears and neck flush and pointedly ignored him.

"So…" Kaidan said, settling on the stool, "We meet again. Shepard, right?" He extended his hand with another easy smile. Shepard felt the corner of his mouth twitch upwards as he grabbed it and gave it a few strong pumps.

"You've got a long memory."

"Naw, I just remember people who're interesting," the dark-haired man chuckled. "It's a gift and a curse."

The heat on the back of his neck rose again and he tried not to acknowledge it, turning to face Kaidan.

"I'm not that interesting, really…" he said softly as Vega came back and shoved a shot of whiskey across the bar. Kaidan nodded towards the smirking bartender and toasted Shepard.

"You are to me," he said with a smile before tossing the amber liquid back with a graceful flick of the wrist. "I like getting to know intriguing people. They usually have some pretty good stories to tell. Take Mr. Vega here, for instance..." Kaidan used his beer bottle to gesture to the bartender, "He's originally from the Pacific coast, and yet he wound up here in the middle of Bumfuck, US of A. And he's built like a linebacker, but he's not in college. Ever wonder why?" He took a swallow of beer and locked eyes with Shepard. It was met with a shoulder toss. "Turns out he had an uncle that needed help and there just happened to be an amateur wrestling league that needed a big guy. It didn't work out for him, so he started working at a gym as a personal trainer and moonlights as Normandy's best bartender by night."

Vega barked out a laugh.

"I dunno about that, Blue, but you hit the highlights, I guess. I wouldn't mind getting back to the coast, but I kinda like it here, too." He pulled out a cutting board and some limes to slice, carefully avoiding his fingers with the paring knife. Shepard grinned behind a sip of his mug.

"How about that," he said, "So what about you? Canadian beer, 'Captain Canada', and you said 'eh'. I'm guessing there's reasons for that?"

Kaidan licked his lips before taking another draught of his beer. "Dual citizenship. Dad's Canadian, Mom's American. I was born in Vancouver. We moved stateside to be closer to Mom's family when I was younger. I enlisted, they moved back to BC, I stayed, and that's all she wrote."

Shepard nodded, draining his beer.

"That's kinda interesting, too, you know," he said, catching Kaidan's eye. "Don't really meet many people with that history in these parts."

"No, I suppose not," Kaidan replied. "What's on the menu tonight, James?"

"Bar food. Same as always," the thick-set bartender grunted, concentrating on the limes. Kaidan rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Bacon cheeseburger, well done, lettuce, tomato, no pickles. Sweet potato fries?" Vega nodded and wiped his hand on his towel. Kaidan turned back to Shepard. "You want anything?"

"Nachos and another beer if you're offering," Shepard scoffed. Kaidan took a sip.

"Throw those on, too, please."

Shepard stared at him, then said, "Belay that; you don't need to pay for my stuff." Kaidan furrowed his brows.

"Consider it another attempt of mine to make up for spilling your drink last time. It's ok. Really," he reassured. "At least let me get you another beer." Vega raised his eyebrows, looking between the two of them. After a moment, Shepard finally acquiesced.

"If you insist," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I do. Shameless ploy to keep you here and talk some more, really," Kaidan joked. James shook his head.

"You're lucky I actually know what 'belay' means, _Loco_. Be right back with it." He disappeared to place the order at the other end of the bar. Shepard felt the edge of his canine with his tongue, not really sure what to think. Kaidan gazed at him a moment, then examined the label on his beer.

"Play any new games lately?" he asked as he peeled the corner of the label. Shepard quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Not really," he replied. Kaidan stopped fiddling with his beer.

"Me either," the dark-eyed man said, looking at the dancing crowd over his shoulder. "I don't really get a lot of time to play anything, but maybe I'll be able to this weekend after work tomorrow."

Shepard wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"That blows. You have to work Saturdays?" Kaidan turned his attention back to him with an amused smile. Shepard felt the nervousness in the pit of his stomach again when their eyes met.

"Not every Saturday. Usually once every month or so. It's not bad," he said, "I'm on early and get off in the early evening. Seven to seven." He took a swig. "Food's here." He pointed his beer to Vega coming back from the kitchen with a burger basket, then put the bottle down on the bar. His hand knocked the shot glass, causing it to knock over and roll towards the edge. He scrambled to grab it before it fell on the floor, ears flaming.

"Smooth as always, _jefe_ ," Vega said, placing the basket and some ketchup in front of him before retrieving the wayward shot glass. "You want another beer when I bring _Loco_ 's or are you good?"

"Water, if you please...after that little display, I don't think more alcohol would help."

"You're a cheap date, is that what I'm getting?" Shepard chuckled, noting the blush. Kaidan bit his lower lip, pink spreading to his cheeks.

"I guess," came the good-natured reply. "Admittedly, I don't usually get more than the shot and beer a couple times a month here, and there's nobody at home but me, so…" He squirted ketchup off to the side of the fries and shoved the basket towards Shepard. "Help yourself; I can't eat them all. I mean...I _could_ , but I shouldn't." A mug of beer was pushed towards Shepard with a grin and a wink, then Vega made himself scarce. Kaidan was preoccupied with trying to get the best angle to bite into the thick burger.

"Do you play Borderlands at all?" Shepard asked, grabbing a fry and dipping it in the red sauce after a moment's deliberation. Kaidan nodded while struggling to chew quickly.

"Uh, yeah!" he said, dabbing his mouth with a paper napkin. "It's a good one...I like the cell shading and the stylized art."

"Me too," Shepard grinned, "And the music is pretty awesome."

"For sure," the dark-haired man agreed, choosing a fry for himself. "It really sets the atmosphere for how isolated you feel. Very gritty. I love it."

"You said you had Xbox last time?"

Kaidan shook his head around another mouthful of food.

"I didn't say, but I do have one."

"Oh, I just assumed since you wondered if we'd crossed paths in Galaxy of Fantasy. Me and a couple of other guys are planning on doing some boss farming tomorrow night….shouldn't be until about nine or so...if you were interested after work, I mean." A grin split Kaidan's face as he glanced shyly at Shepard again.

"Sounds like fun! Does it matter who I play as?"

"Not really. We have two Mordecai's and a Brick. If balance were important, we'd have Roland or Lilith instead of two snipers."

Kaidan snorted. "Shouldn't be a problem. I usually play as Lilith. Phasewalking is awesome. Especially when I have a high level electric artifact equipped to stun targets when I end phasewalking." Shepard spied James' pen lying on the bar a few feet away and he grabbed it along with a couple of clean napkins.

"Here's my gamertag," he said, scribbling it as neatly as he could, then handed it to the other man. Their fingers brushed and he felt a little jolt of excitement. Kaidan glanced at it and smiled, tucking it in his pocket. "SpectreUnseeN7. Vakarian is 'scr tch-0ne' and Joker is 'i_fly_ur_mom'. Don't ask…" He passed the pen and blank napkin to Kaidan. "I'll send a friend invite tonight when I get home." Kaidan rolled his lips inwards as he wrote his down: 'Pro-BiotiK'. Shepard looked at it skeptically.

"...probiotic?" he asked, perplexed. "That sounds like some kind of medicine." Kaidan suppressed a laugh around another bite and nudged the fries towards him again. Shepard took some more, then pushed it back towards the other man.

"It's more of a supplement thing than a medicine, per se. It's good to take them no matter what, but especially if you've been on antibiotics. They help the good bacteria in your gut replenish." The blue eyes blinked at him in disbelief.

"Oh-kayy…." Shepard said slowly, trying not to laugh. "And the 'K'?"

Color rose on Kaidan's cheeks again.

"For my name."

Shepard laughed abruptly and cut himself off in a hurry, noting the blush spreading.

"Sorry, it's just...not what I would have expected. Most people don't get that excited over things like that enough to make it their gamertag."

"It was kind of a nickname in school and it stuck around as a joke," Kaidan said, chuckling at himself. "I really liked biology, put it that way."

"Were you one of those perfect kids who was super smart, on all the sports teams, and had perfect skin to boot?" Shepard teased, stealing another couple of fries. The dark-eyed man chewed his lower lip for a moment, then gave him another sidelong glance.

"No, actually. I, uh...got mixed up in a rough crowd. But I straightened up. Dad was proud when I joined the military. Eventually."

"Huh...wouldn't have guessed it, just by looking at you," Shepard said thoughtfully, gazing at him. Kaidan put the scraps of the burger bun on a napkin and gave a self-deprecating smile.

" _Are_ you looking at me, Shepard?" he said softly, leaning towards him slightly. The noise level in the background seemed to fade away as Shepard held his breath, undecided on how to answer. He leaned forward on his elbows, toying with his mug, thinking a moment.

"If I was?" he replied cautiously. After a moment he glanced up at Kaidan again, heart in his throat. He hadn't tried dating or picking anybody up in a long time. Dark eyes crinkled at the corners with a warm smile.

"I would wonder if you liked what you saw," came the response, "And hope that you did." Kaidan slid off his stool and nodded at the clock, slipping on his coat. "Unfortunately, morning comes early and I do need sleep in order to function. But!" He threw some bills on the bar next to his empty beer. "I will see you online tomorrow. 2100, right?"

Shepard felt a frisson of excitement run up his spine as Kaidan squeezed his shoulder and let his hand linger.

"Right…" he faltered, clearing his throat, "See you then."

"Count on it," Kaidan said, leaning close again. "Have a good one." His hand slid off Shepard's arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps. Shepard watched him leave through the window, breath curling in cotton puffs over his shoulder in the cold air. He jumped when Vega spoke in his ear.

"You're right. He's totally not into in you. I'll start calling him Conrad Two Point Oh."

James' laugh rang out over the crowd as Shepard's face flamed.

"Fuck you, too, James…"


	4. The Son of a - (I'm So Sorry!)

_**Private Practice**_ , by potionsmaster

Rating: T for language and drinking moderately heavily in a bar

A/N: Title taken from the song "I'm So Sorry" by Imagine Dragons. Kinda Shepard's theme in my head for this one. **Trigger warnings** for those with families that don't understand. Also, see the playlist the incredible Azzy_Darling made for the song. (it's on 8 Tracks. FFN doesn't like links :/ )

Summary: Say, these 'chance meetings' happen kinda frequently. What's up with that?

* * *

 **Chapter 4** : _The Son of A - (I'm So Sorry!)_

"Maybe he's not going to show."

"Dude. He'll be here. We're killing a giant sandcrab with a cheap trick for loot over and over. What about that sounds unappealing?" Joker said through a mouthful of chips, crunching over the headset. He was making Brick jump around the staging area while they waited.

"Yeah, Shepard, it's only 8:48...he's got a few minutes before you told him to be on anyway," Garrus pointed out pragmatically.

"2048 if you go by military time," Shepard corrected him, "Which apparently we both still do."

"Sounds like a bad habit," Joker said. They heard the sound of a chip bag crinkling.

"Are you going to be doing that throughout the entire mission? Because if you are, I'm going to mute my headset." Garrus made his Mordecai slash at Brick with his sword. Brick punched him back and they went into duel mode. Shepard shook his head, watching the screen. A blip on the bottom of his screen caught his attention.

 _Pro-BiotiK is online._

"OoooooOOOOOooooo…Dream Marine exists!" Joker whistled. "You extending the invite or am I?"

"I'll do it," Shepard grumbled. "I'm hosting, remember?" He was thankful they were talking through headsets and they couldn't see how red his ears were as he sent the invite. "Try not to embarrass me too much, will you?"

"That depends on the manner of your playing tonight. Aim straight for the vulnerable spots and we're cool." Joker snorted. " _Aim straight_ …I crack myself up."

"You're an ass," Garrus deadpanned. "And you're going to scare the new guy."

"New guy can take care of himself, but thanks for the concern," Kaidan said as Lilith appeared on screen and immediately went over to the vending machines.

"Hi, how are ya, nice to meet you, what's the strategy?" Joker immediately bombarded him. Kaidan huffed a laugh.

"Hey, guys. What's up. I'm assuming the ledge?"

"Yeah, that's the usual plan...Do you know any other way to get around it?" Shepard asked nonchalantly. He pulled his black and white knit blanket around his shoulders like a cape.

"Joker, hit the button. Let's get this show on the road." Garrus said, "Lilith -"

"Call me Kaidan, please."

"I'm Garrus, aka the best sniper you'll ever see. Ok, Kaidan, go up with him since you both can sprint. Us slowpokes will catch the next elevator."

"Don't listen to these two fools," Shepard advised as he watched the elevator start the ascent, "Their outsized egos need constant feeding." Kaidan chuckled.

"Sounds like a good time...see ya at the ledge!" The sound of phasewalk initiating came through, closely followed by Brick entering berserker mode.

"FUCK!" Joker grumbled.

"He get the drop on you?" Garrus asked shrewdly. Shepard toggled the elevator button and waited impatiently for it to descend. He had never seen an elevator in a game take so long before, though the ones at work could give it a run for its money.

"I would say so, since he's got no retort," Shepard snorted. "Better luck next time." Both Mordecais hopped on the elevator and waited impatiently for the long ride up.

"I go left, you go right?" Garrus confirmed. Rockets were exploding in the background.

"Thank god you use SMGS...if you used snipers, I would shit myself," Joker was telling Kaidan. Shepard fired one round in front of Mordecai/Garrus to show he heard and approved.

"I use SMGs, pistols, _and_ snipers," Kaidan said. "I figured this had the highest damage output at the moment to try to take the heat off them when they run to the other ledge."

"Wait… _what_ other ledge?"

"Are you telling me…"

"You mean we've been running around and dying for no reason while Joker sits pretty over there?"

"Nuh-uh! There _is_ no other ledge!" Joker protested. "I have been over the map with a fine-tooth comb. I don't believe it-GODDAMMIT!" Crawmerax spit acid and made Brick go down. Kaidan immediately stopped firing and started helping him up. Garrus and Shepard split up, each deploying their Bloodwing.

"You guys haven't figured that one out yet?" Kaidan asked, turning his guns back to the giant, purple sandcrab. Smaller ones erupted out of the sand while the two Mordecais tried to get as many shots in as they could before dying and respawning down in the staging area.

" _No_ ," Joker grumbled sullenly, "Obviously not."

"I'll show you where the next round," Kaidan promised, obliterating one ginormous claw. "It's not as protected as this one, but it does the trick. Especially if you already have someone holed up here."

"Thanks, Kaidan," Shepard broke in before Joker could snap something. "We sure would appreciate it. Aww, fuck _me_..."

"I'll teabag you after I wipe the floor with you in a duel. Daddy's busy right now." Joker snorted as Shepard's Mordecai yelled, health bleeding out.

"No, thanks, Jeff-fah-fah. I've had better."

"Oh, I bet," Garrus laughed while his Mordecai respawned down in the holding area beside Shepard's.

"Wow, and you guys say _I'm_ an asshole," Joker said.

Kaidan left the party after a few hours, saying he wasn't sure how often he'd be able to play but he would like to do so again. Joker threatened to kiss him good night. He deftly side-stepped it, saying they didn't know each other well enough and he didn't kiss on the first date besides.

"Well, that was...interesting, to say the least…" Garrus said as they sorted the loot into piles, "We learned a new strategy to a game that is several years old, Joker was unable to one-up him on anything, and Shepard is officially head over heels for him. Not bad."

"He kept crowding me off the ledge and stealing my kills!" Joker protested. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Um, not try to start a duel with him while we're in the middle of farming?" Shepard asked. "He totally whooped your ass."

A notification pinged on Shepard's console.

 _Pro-BiotiK sent you a message._

He held his breath as he opened it, not knowing what to expect. Joker hadn't hid his grumpiness at being bested very well. It wouldn't have surprised him if Kaidan said, "Thanks for the invite, but I'll pass."

\\\Hey, Shepard - Thanks for letting me play with you guys. It was a lot of fun and I hope we can do it again sometime! Sorry for having to bail so early, but I didn't get as much done as I wanted to today. Maybe next time we can do a longer marathon. Or, if you wanted, we could start a new campaign. Hope to see ya at the bar this week ~ Kaidan\\\

A grin slowly spread on his face as he finished reading it. He was vaguely aware of noise increasing in his headset.

"-ellllllloooooooo? Earth to Shepard!"

"Give it up, Joker, he's probably grinning like an idiot over something. Like Kaidan private messaging him. He always goes quiet when he's distracted."

"I'm not distracted…" he protested weakly.

"Mm-hmm," Garrus said, "You definitely don't _sound_ distracted."

"I don't know what I would be distracted by."

"I call bullshit."

" Are we done for the night?" Joker broke in impatiently, "Because I could either continue farming for pearlescents or I could do something else. Like checking in on Galaxy of Fantasy."

Shepard scoffed.

"Yeah, we're done. I'm tapped for the night...grab the guns and shit you want now or forever lose them to the pixelated graveyard of nothingness."

Brick hustled to the piles of loot they had sorted and started grabbing the highest level gear he could. Garrus _tsk'ed_ over the headsets.

"You wanna actually leave some for us poor plebeians who lose an astronomical amount of money every time we farm?"

The hulking berserker moved in front of Garrus/Mordecai on the screen and chucked a few mods and guns at him.

"There's your allowance. Now stop bothering me."

"Such a charmer…" Garrus retorted dryly as he snatched up the equipment in front of him. "See you guys out in the Matrix." His Mordecai blinked out of existence.

"You done hoarding? Because I want to sign off," Shepard asked behind a stifled yawn. Brick ran in circles around him.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'll see you Monday. Peace out, man."

"Later, Joker. See you." Shepard picked up the remnants of the loot and shut down his console. The apartment was silent except for chittering in the background. He draped himself over the back of his couch, looking at his little black hamster scurrying about in the brightly colored plastic tubing along the wall.

"What you do think, Boo? Think there might be something there?" The black fur blob hopped in the wheel and started running. Quiet squeaking filled the silence. "I suppose you're right...I should meet him again, see if he still seems interested. You always have good ideas." The hamster kept running in the wheel, ignoring him. Shepard sighed and folded the blanket over the back of the couch again, turning off lights and closing down the apartment for the night. Maybe the next time he saw Kaidan he could ask him about how he found the other ledge in the game. Then he could ease into other questions. He padded off to his bedroom and flopped on the bed face first, hugging a pillow and drifting off to sleep with visions of Kaidan glowing blue like his game character.

* * *

Shepard was at his usual barstool when Kaidan arrived and slipped his jacket off, placing it on the back of the chair.

"Hey there!" He said warmly, knocking his elbow into the blue-eyed man's. Shepard turned to him and gave him a bright, empty smile.

"Hey! Glad you made it," he said, words a little muddy. Kaidan snorted.

"You drunk?"

"Naw," Shepard said, turning back to his beer. "Working on it, though." He waved at Vega, asking him to come over. "The usual for my friend here, please!" James quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Howdy, Blue. Who's tab am I putting it on?"

"Mine," they both answered at the same time. Shepard scoffed at it, then said, "His drinks are on me tonight."

"No, his drinks are on him tonight...what's going on? You seem upset," Kaidan said, furrowing his brows as he leaned against the bar, eyeing the small pail of ice with multiple beer bottles in it. James pushed his lager and shot to him.

"Watch him tonight, will ya? Something's off," the athletic man muttered to him. He nodded behind a swig of his beer.

"So, Shepard...something the matter?" He leaned forward on his elbows, arms almost touching. He saw a pile of shredded napkins next to the bucket, two empties buried upside down in the ice already. "Bad day at work?"

Shepard finished his third and shoved it neck first into the ice, pulling a fourth out.

"Not exactly," he said after a long pull. "Family stuff." Kaidan nodded.

"I can listen if you want," he offered. Shepard looked at him out of the corner of his eye while he took another swig.

"Hmm. What I _want_ …" he mumbled. "I want to buy you a beer, since you bought me one last time. And take a shot with you."

"Might be able to arrange that," Kaidan said, "Though you don't have to."

"I know I don't _have_ to. I _want_ to," came the slurred response. "So? How 'bout it?"

Kaidan lifted an eyebrow, looking him over critically.

"Have you eaten anything today?"

"Lunch, but I figured I'd drink my dinner."

"Hmm." Kaidan thought back to the last time they saw each other and remembered Shepard had mentioned a specific item. "Well, I'm going to get some nachos. You're welcome to them if you want. What toppings do you like?"

Shepard perked up at that, plunking the mostly empty bottle on the bar.

"I'm not hungry, but loaded. Cheese, meat, sour cream, lettuce, tomato...with jalapeños? No olives, though. Those are gross." He pushed back his stool and stood up, holding on to Kaidan's seat to steady himself.

"Sure thing…where are you going?"

"Going to queue up a song I need to hear on the jukebox. I'll be back," he said, lips almost brushing Kaidan's ear. He walked deliberately through the crowd, work slacks rumpled. Kaidan signaled to Vega again.

"Order of nachos, loaded, hold the olives, but put the peppers on only half, please. Can you cut him off?"

"Sorry, but I have to have disruptive behavior. So far he's just tipsy, man. If he starts hitting the hard stuff, I can tell him to lay off."

"He doesn't usually get like this, does he? I mean, not that I know him all that well, but he doesn't seem like the type to get blitzed."

Vega glanced at Shepard by the jukebox, shifting through the digital menu.

"No, he doesn't, but I also happen to know that he can't afford another bucket and he'll probably try to order one. He's in a better spot than he used to be, but he's still fighting his way up, you know what I'm sayin'?"

"Mm. Put the bucket on my tab, too, then. Let him buy me the beer, but put everything else on me. I'll try to get him to slow down."

"Sounds good, _jefe_. Wonder what got him all bothered." Vega sauntered away, throwing the bar towel over his shoulder as Shepard came back, muttering curses under his breath.

"...mother-fucker, _literally_ fuckin' mother-fucker; doesn't know a goddamn thing. Who the fuck does he think he is, piece of _shit_ -"

Kaidan put a hand on his back to steady him back on the stool, concern wrinkling his forehead. Shepard half-heartedly tried to shrug it off but gave up with a sigh.

"Ok, seriously, Shepard...what's going on?" He let his hand drop reluctantly, folding them around his beer bottle.

"Take a shot with me."

"I don't think that's a good idea right now-"

"-Oh, c'mon, Kaidan. I'm only askin' for one, y'know…"

Vega came back with the nachos, eyebrows raised at Kaidan.

"Anything else I can get you gentlemen?"

"Another shot of whatever he has," Shepard said brusquely, grabbing his beer.

"Please…" Kaidan sighed after a moment, "and some more napkins when you get a moment." Another shot was pushed wordlessly across the bar. Shepard wrapped his fingers around it and held it up.

" _Prost_ …"

"Bless you," Kaidan said, clinking his own against it. They both downed the golden brown liquid, wincing at the fire that raced down their throats. Shepard turned his upside down and slapped it on the bar, then pulled a crinkled envelope out of his jacket.

"Dad used to say it as a toast. I think it's Polish? Maybe Austrian? I dunno. I never got a chance to ask." He tossed the paper on the polished wooden surface and went back to his beer. Kaidan raised an eyebrow at it. "Go ahead, read it. Then help me forget."

Kaidan glanced at him and pulled the letter from the envelope; it was handwritten on cheap lined paper torn out of a school notebook. Disgust swam through him at the words scrawled on it; he could see why Shepard was so upset.

 _My reluctant son in name only,_

 _You're not even that, really. Since you have_ his _name. But I'm the one who adopted you. Raised you. When are you going to come visit your mother? Hannah was hoping you would make it back for Christmas, but the only thing she got was the card and cheap trinket necklace you sent._

 _I bet you're only going to send dollar store chocolates and another crappy card for Valentine's Day. If you even remember this year. You know you're breaking her heart every time you stay away? Every holiday she gets her hopes up and every time you never show._

 _Come home. I've got a spot in the garage for a mechanic if you can man up and do it. But don't think it's an opportunity for you to ogle the other men. When are you going to stop pretending and find a girl? The right one will make sure you don't look anywhere else. At the very least, she'll keep you from barking up the wrong tree again._

 _Peter B. Mikhailovich_

"It wasn't _cheap_ , by the way…" Shepard muttered to his beer bottle, jaw clenched. "I saved for _months_ for it. Silver, lab-grown emerald pendant...Mom's allergic to gold. That's all he ever gets her, though. Yellow gold, as high a carat as he can get. I just thought she would like something to wear that she didn't have a reaction to." Kaidan stuffed the letter unceremoniously back in the envelope and threw it back on the bar, looking at the other man. Shepard looked sad.

"What the shit?" he asked, incredulous. "That can _not_ be your father. Who the fuck even writes to family like that?"

" _Step_ -father. Hated me from day one. I was a constant reminder to him that Mom loved another guy first. The more I grew up, the more I looked like my dad, too. Only got worse when I told Mom I...never mind." Shepard finished his beer and grabbed another out of the bucket. "I thought joining the Navy would be acceptable to him and prove I wasn't the sissy he claimed I was, but it just led to 'seamen' jokes. My discharge only validated him."

Kaidan was at a loss for words. The blue-eyed man leaned heavily against the bar and pulled the food towards him, carefully extracting a smothered chip.

"So protest all you want, but I _will_ buy you that beer. Especially since you're letting me mooch food off of you."

"All for a good cause." He huffed a small laugh, then said, "I like the company and conversation it brings." He decided to take a chance and bumped his knee into Shepard's briefly. Shepard paused, scowl softening a bit. He glanced at Kaidan, uncertainty painted across his face as Kaidan felt the knee bump returned. Kaidan gave a tiny smile as their eyes met, then took a drink of his beer. The breath caught in his throat when the pressure didn't let up and he felt Shepard hook his foot around his ankle.

Shepard took another swig of his beer, playing with the shredded napkins. The tips of his ears were faintly pink. Kaidan shifted in his chair, pressing more of their legs together.

"So what song did you pick? Should be coming up soon," he said, more to break the silence between them. "I didn't think that many people were ahead of you." Shepard peered beyond him to the jukebox, foot still locked around his ankle. A guitar twanged with opening notes and Shepard's face lit up.

"Listen and find out," he said, focusing on Kaidan again. Kaidan snorted and tried to take a sip of his beer but found it empty.

"Damn," he said as he shoved it towards the back of the bar. "Looks like I'm out."

"Nope," Shepard said, signaling Vega. "This is a beer-drinkin' song. You need another and you are _not_ paying for this one." The bassline kicked in just then and a group in the corner whistled in drunken appreciation. They started shouting along with the lyrics.

 _About time for anyone tellin' you off for all your deeds/ No sign the roaring thunder stopped in cold to read (No time)_

Shepard leaned back in his stool as Vega came over.

"Nice choice, there, _Loco_. Haven't heard it in a while. What can I get ya?" James threw a look at Kaidan, shoving a pile of napkins at them.

 _I get mine and make no excuses, waste of precious breath (No time)/ The sun shines on ev'ryone, everyone love yourself to death._

"Another beer for my compatriot here," the blue-eyed man said loudly, grabbing a mouthful of nachos. "My tab."

A nod from Kaidan was all the bartender needed for him to pop the top off another lager. He gave one last meaningful look at him then hustled off to the other end of the bar before Kaidan could wave him off.

 _So you gotta fire up, you gotta let go/ You'll never be loved 'til you've made your own/ You gotta face up, you gotta get yours/ You'll never know the top 'til you get too low (low)._

Shepard slapped the bar, then grabbed his beer, holding it up towards Kaidan. Shaking his head, he raised his new beer up and the necks were clinked together. Shepard took a swig and threw an arm around Kaidan, yelling the next lines along with the raucous bunch. Kaidan scrambled to collect the napkins he inadvertently knocked over with his elbow when Shepard crashed into him.

 _A son of a stepfather/ a son of a/ I'm so sorry! / A son of a stepfather/ a son of a/ I'm so sorry!_

"Fitting, wouldn't you say?" Shepard asked, putting his lips next to Kaidan's ear again. He huffed a small laugh again and wrapped his arm around the taller man, trying to tug him back into his seat.

"Uh, very much so! Good choice. Hey, why don't you sit down? You're practically in my lap and we'll both fall…" Shepard took his arm back, looking chagrined.

"Sorry...I thought that-"

"-Oh, god, no... _that's_ not a problem. Far, uh...far from it, Shepard." Kaidan pressed their thighs together again. "I just didn't want to need to drive either one of us to the ER for stitches. Talk about an embarrassing story."

Shepard tipped the remainder of his beer down his throat, eyeing Kaidan. He shoved the empty one in the half-melted ice in the bucket with the others and grabbed the last one.

"Well, shit. I guess that would be an interesting one to tell. Shame this is it."

"Is that the last beer in the bucket or the last beer of the night?"

Kaidan gazed at him steadily, hearing the lyrics pound in the background. The other man scrubbed a hand over his buzzed hair in frustration.

 _So you gotta fire up, you gotta let go/ You'll never be loved 'til you've made your own!/ You gotta face up, you gotta get yours/ You'll never know the top 'til you get too low (low)!_

"Last one of the night. I would like to actually be able to drive home," Shepard said regretfully, looking at the bottles of liquor behind the bar. Kaidan suspected the statement was a deflection.

"I can take you, if you want. If you're still not steady by the time you want to leave, I mean."

Shepard ran his tongue over one of his canines, chuckling.

"Trying to take me home to bed already? I wouldn't exactly call nachos 'dinner first'." Kaidan's cheeks flamed.

 _A son of a stepfather/ a son of a/ I'm so sorry/ A son of a stepfather/ a son of a/ I'm so sorry!_

"Not like that at all, Shepard. I just want to make sure you're safe. At least it's Friday. You won't have to work tomorrow."

"Don't you?"

"Nope," Kaidan replied, "Not on weekend call again until next month. But I do have paperwork to catch up on, so I'll be holed up in my own office at home. Thrilling stuff."

Shepard furrowed his brow at that.

"You're a workaholic, K. Can I call you 'K'?"

He shook his head around a sip, chuckling. "If you must. Can I call you 'Sheppy'?"

"No." Shepard was looking around the bar distractedly, disappointed the song had ended. Kaidan watched him restlessly pick at the nachos.

"We can wrap those to go, if you're ready." Shepard smirked at him and knocked his knee into Kaidan's again.

"If you don't want them, sure. You didn't really have much. Don't think I didn't notice you only put peppers on half...do you not like jalapeños?"

"They're not my favorite," Kaidan said, pulling out his billfold. Shepard leaned towards him, elbow on the bar.

"So I should eat a bunch of 'em and then breathe on you? Is that what you're telling me?"

"You wanna walk home? I'm not above taking your key," he threatened amicably as he pulled on his jacket. Shepard tugged his own on, then hunted down Vega at the cash register. The hulking man raised an eyebrow at him as he rang up his tab.

"You doing ok, _Loco_? You were worrying me a bit there in the beginning."

The tips of Shepard's ears flushed.

"Better now," he muttered, looking over the receipt. "This doesn't look right…"

"Some little guardian angel took care of it. Don't question it. Just pay it forward when you can; people tend to be nice around the holidays."

"Holidays have been over for a few weeks, Vega," he grumped. Kaidan appeared next to him, hands in his pockets.

"Ready to go? Hey, James."

"Yo," the bartender said, fighting back a smile. "Have a good night, gents."

They made their way out to the parking lot. Shepard started glancing around.

"I don't see a Porsche…" Kaidan pursed his lips, then tugged on his sleeve towards a small, bright blue Infiniti SUV. He unlocked it and held the door for him. Shepard slid in and whistled.

"Leather...nice. You like your toys, don't you?"

"Yeah, well, when you don't spend your money on anything else, you can splurge a little. Here…" he turned on the seat warmers. "That'll help until the engine warms up some." Shepard burrowed in his jacket, sinking further into the seat.

"I didn't know how much I needed this until now. You've ruined me."

Kaidan laughed. "If you say so. Got your envelope? I can figure out the address from there."

"Or...I could just tell you. Know how to get to the mall?"

"Yeah…"

"Normandy Arms Apartments, right behind it." Kaidan nodded, pulling out of the parking lot. "Funnily enough, you parked next to me. I'm the red Blazer."

"Good truck to have," he said, glancing at the other man, "Sturdy." Shepard was leaning against the window, eyes closed. He smiled to himself and drove, enjoying the quiet. After a while, he shook Shepard's arm.

"Hey...we're almost there. Which building?"

"The one that looks shitty." Shepard didn't bother to open his eyes and Kaidan huffed a laugh.

" _You_ might be able to tell which one is which, but I don't think they're that awful or different looking."

Shepard blearily opened one eye and surveyed the complex. "That one…" he gestured to one of the buildings on the left.. "You can just drop me off on the sidewalk." Kaidan pulled into an empty spot and let the engine idle. Shepard didn't make any move to leave.

"Can I have your phone number? I can give you mine...that way when you want to pick up your truck tomorrow, we can go get it."

Shepard rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, looking out the window.

"I, uh...don't actually have a phone. Can't afford one yet."

"Oh...that sucks. I was hoping I'd be able to actually call you and meet you specifically instead of meeting randomly at the bar."

Shepard pursed his lips before replying.

"Well, it's...um. I can't afford a 'real' cell phone right now. But I have a track phone. You know, one you have to buy minutes for?" Kaidan nodded. "But I'm saving up for one...think I'm almost there. I can get a refurb smart phone and a small data plan. Garrus and Joker are going to help me figure out which one's the best."

"That's good! I was trying to think if I had an old one lying around I could just give you, but I don't think I do."

"I don't want or need your charity, Kaidan. Fuck…" Shepard scrubbed a hand over his buzzed hair in embarrassed frustration. "I can do it on my own; I'm not looking for a hand out."

"Considering I don't have an extra one, it's not a problem, is it?" Shepard didn't reply. "Anyway, how do you want to meet up tomorrow to get the Blazer? I can send you a message through Xbox, if you want."

"Seriously, Kaidan, it's fine. Garrus is coming over tomorrow anyway. I can have him drop me off to get it." He shifted in the seat, looking out the window. Kaidan bit the inside of his lip, thinking. The whole situation wasn't one he had been expecting to deal with. The other man rested his forehead against the glass with a sigh.

"I'm sorry…" he mumbled, "I...this wasn't how I wanted tonight to go. That stupid, fucking letter threw me. Usually I just don't think about it and it's not an issue. You didn't deserve to have that dumped in your lap."

Kaidan patted him softly on the knee, then put his hand back on the steering wheel. That earned him a sidelong glance.

"It's alright," he reassured. "Everybody's got family history that has baggage. I'm just glad I was able to keep you company. Nobody should have to deal with shit like that on their own."

"Yeah, but I usually don't tell this much of it to _any_ body...you're very easy to talk to, Kaidan." Shepard looked disgruntled. "I shouldn't have drank so much. That doesn't help. So, again...I'm sorry. You probably won't want to meet up again. Nobody wants a negative, estranged, down-on-his-luck veteran leeching off them."

"Stop that right now, Shepard...I'm a veteran, too, if you've forgotten. And it takes more than a shitty home life to scare me off." Shepard snorted and fiddled with his hands in his lap. "Besides. I have a good bedside manner. Part of my job is getting people to be comfortable with me so I can get to the heart of the problem, then fix it."

The blue-eyed man looked at him, uncertain worry back on his face.

"You're the success story that is the golden example. You're a vet who's made it. Not on the verge of homelessness, you obviously have a well-paying job...doesn't seem like you have many medical issues. And if you have mental ones, you hide them really well to the rest of society. You win."

Kaidan's ears turned hot.

"Shepard…" he hesitated, "What you don't see is the drugs I got into as a teen. Or the packs of ramen I split in half to stretch out my limited funds in order to make it through school. It might look shiny and perfect on the outside, but there's more to it than you realize." Shepard gave him a considering look.

"Definitely didn't see that one coming," he said, fingering the door handle. "Wouldn't have pictured it from you." He sighed. "I should go...my mental fog is clearing up and I have embarrassed myself enough tonight. Just so you know, I don't usually make a habit of doing this. Blame the beer. I'm sorry I was invading your space tonight. Thanks for driving me home." He popped the door open and slithered out of the seat. Kaidan reached over and grabbed his sleeve, making Shepard turn to look at him. He ran his hand lightly down Shepard's forearm, briefly touching his hand.

"Do. _Not_. Feel bad about it. Any of it. Actually...the part where you were in my personal space? I didn't mind it at all." He gave Shepard a shy half-smile, debating whether he should flat out ask him on a date. "I, uh...kinda thought that was the best part. Sober or not." He decided not to put the other man on the spot at the moment; Shepard still was upset.

Shepard returned his grin slowly.

"See you around, Kaidan. Probably same place next week. Thanks again."

The car door closed with a quiet 'thud' and Kaidan watched him walk towards the building, breath steaming from the collar of the old leather jacket he wore.

"Count on it…" he whispered to himself before driving off.


	5. Sent You A Message

_**Private Practice**_ , by potionsmaster

Rating: T for language and bar situations

A/N: I should probably say that much of the patient interactions are based on experiences I have had at work, sorry to report. I really wish this wasn't the case (some of them were bloody awful), but I hope you get as much amusement out of them as I did/still do, though. That being said, I have mangled them with my own brain droppings. Any resemblance the patient stuff has to any real people anymore is a coincidence. Also, I fussed with the boys ages a bit to make their timelines a bit more plausible. They're _technically_ canon, but on the opposite ends of the spectrum from each other...well...you'll see.

* * *

 **Chapter 5** _: Sent You A Message_

"Normandy Orthopedics, this is John. How can I help you today?"

Shepard poised his fingers over his keyboard, ready to enter patient information.

"John? Why do they have you doing a woman's job?" the unctuous voice came over the other end of the phone.

"Um...sir? I don't think this job is gender specific. How can I assist you?" Shepard tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

"I need an appointment with Doc Alenko. I hear he's pretty ok. Can you do that?"

"Sure thing. What's your date of birth and your name so I can look up your account?"

"I ain't been there before, cupcake, but you can try anyway."

He grit his teeth.

"If that is the case, sir, I'll still need the information to start your chart and account. If you don't mind?"

The man on the other end of the phone heaved a sigh and gave Shepard the necessary demographics, making snarky remarks the entire time.

"Just a few last questions for you, sir. Please spell your last name?"

"H. A. R, for ridiculous waste of time. K. I, like I give a rat's ass if this is correct, because I need an appointment. N, as in 'nancy-boy'. I can't believe they have you answering phones."

"Takes all kinds, Mr. Harkin. And your email address? We can send you appointment reminders and updates through that if you wish."

"Oh, sure, why not. It's 'weenus1 '."

"I'm sorry...did you say 'weenus'?" Shepard asked, incredulous. He caught the scandalized look on Samara's face out of the corner of his eye and pantomimed shooting himself in the head. She rolled her eyes in response. This guy was unreal.

"Yeah. Does that offend your delicate ears? Good."

"If you could please spell it for me..."

Shepard put his phone on mute and leaned back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his buzzed hair while the guy hemmed and hawed before spelling it out. A storm cloud was rolling in from the west in the distance. He watched it through the window in between tabbing through the scheduling program and looking up Dr. Alenko's scheduling rules. Samara glanced at him again and he rolled his eyes at her with a half-smile. Normally phone calls with difficult patients didn't get to him very much, but this one seemed to be going out of his way to be difficult. He sighed and unmuted his headset.

"Now that I have your account set, what issue do you have?"

"I have an ingrown nail, what's it to ya?"

"Well, sir, I have to match the issue with the doctor's specialty. Doctor Alenko doesn't usually do many foot problems, but I'll ask him. How long have you had the issue?" He scanned the paragraph regarding new patients. _Check with nurse if patient specifically requests by name_.

"Long enough to where it's leaking green stuff and hurts like a bitch. Smells awesome, too, let me tell you. Really ripe, like a good cheese."

"Please hold…" Shepard cringed and hit the hold button, keying in pod 8's nurse extension. "Jack?"

Muffled cursing and clipboards being tossed around came from her end.

" _Whatcha need, jellybean?_ "

"Get a load of this guy's email address…" He gave her the chart number and she chuckled.

" _Sounds like a real winner. What's his issue?_ "

"Infected ingrown. I know you guys don't usually do stuff like that, but he requested Dr. A specifically." He heard her relaying it to someone in the background.

" _Hey, John._ _Send him to podiatry, I don't do stuff like that. Fractures only, please_." Shepard paused.

"Hi, um, Doctor…? Even though he...requested you specifically?" he hesitated.

" _Even though. Better people than me can treat him for it. Schedule him with Dr. Chakwas or Chorban, then mark him 'Do Not Book' for foot problems with me, please... No, Jack, I'm not going to DNB him completely because you don't like the sound of him...his email is_ what _?_ "

Shepard heard Dr. Alenko scoff when Jack pointed out Harkin's contact info.

" _How old is this guy? That's like...something a teenager would use. He sounds like a real ass._ "

"Yeah, tell me about it...I had to ask him to spell it," he chuckled nervously. Dr. Alenko snorted.

" _That must've been awkward. Thanks for asking anyway, John. Have a good one._ "

"Ok. Thanks. You too, um, sir." He still was nervous any time a doctor actually responded to him, regardless of if they were fairly reasonable or otherwise. He had already pissed off Dr. Lawson by scheduling someone under 18 without checking with the nurse and she had given Samara an earful. One of her rules was 'no minors'. For Samara's part, she had said, "You're only human. I bet you won't make that mistake again and I fixed it up. Everything in this place is fixable, John. Even when it isn't, it is."

Her piercing blue gaze met with his.

"Need me to run interference?" she asked. He shook his head.

"No, I got it. Thanks, though. This patient is just aggravating."

She nodded and turned back to her computer. Shepard decided he would go to _The Citadel_ later; maybe he'd see Kaidan and tell him all about the awful patient.

* * *

Kaidan was still shaking his head over that patient's email address.

"You're pulling my leg. Both of you. _Really_?"

"I shit you not, Doc, it's really 'weenus'. Dude sounds like a total douche-waffle."

"Jack…" he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. She grinned at him fiendishly.

"I say what you think and you know it."

"Only in some cases. The rest of the time you just try for shock value." She punched him on the shoulder playfully, getting a scowl in return.

"And you love me for it. So when are you going to try to meet up with Mystery Date? You're in a better mood than usual lately and I want the trend to continue."

The scowl deepened as he rubbed his temples.

"I was going to try for tonight, but I dunno. I feel a migraine coming on with the weather system blowing in. I don't think it would be a very prudent idea for me to be out and about tonight."

Jack raised a sculpted eyebrow.

"I'm not even going to comment on the dollar word you used. People just don't talk like that. You should take something before it gets too bad. Potentially save the night, y'know?"

"Way ahead of you. Though it might just make it more bearable; this is the kind that's going to need to be knocked out repeatedly with a sledgehammer. Anyway, who's the next patient?"

* * *

Shepard tried extremely hard not to feel dejected as he let himself into his apartment later that night, shoving his shoulder into the door. It always stuck. James said he hadn't seen or heard from 'Blue' since the last time he saw them both at _The Citadel_. With a sigh he turned on his console and kicked off his shoes. One more work day left and then it was the weekend. He could use the break; patients were being very cranky this week. He tried not to think about what an idiot he made of himself last time at the bar, too.

 _Pro-BiotiK sent you a message_.

His interest piqued; he checked the time stamp: 5:45pm. At least he had tried to contact him. Maybe this was the 'thanks but no thanks' memo he'd been half expecting.

\\\Hey Shepard - Sorry to have to skip out on you tonight, but I'm laid up with a migraine. I was really looking forward to seeing you today (if you were going to the bar, I mean), but it came up with the weather system and I can't function. If possible, can we meet there tomorrow? Dinner's on me. ~Kaidan\\\

The tight knot in his stomach loosened and he couldn't help grinning. Joker hadn't managed to scare him off with his poor sportsmanship and he hadn't thrown him with his previous drunken display, either. Earlier in the week Garrus said Shepard was overthinking it and had offered to play without Joker if they wanted to farm again. Shepard had laughed at the time, but still worried that Kaidan had been turned off by Joker's sheer bitchiness. He didn't want to admit that he had made an utter fool of himself at the bar, either. He clicked the keyboard attachment to his controller and tapped out a response.

\\\Hey Kaidan - It's ok; I'm just glad to hear from you. You doing alright? They sound like a real bitch to deal with. I'll just have to catch you tomorrow if you're up for it. Thanks for the offer for dinner, but you really don't have to buy me food. I know it was you who settled my tab last time, too. Well played, sir, but now I owe you more than a beer.\\\

A few moments later the message notification pinged again. He opened it, glad nobody but Boo was around to comment on how fast he did.

\\\Don't worry about it. I mean it! I like the company and conversation it brings. ) Hate to do this to you, but I really need to not stare at a screen. I'll catch up with you tomorrow at the usual time and place. Looking forward to it ~Kaidan\\\

Shepard felt his stomach twinge at that; Kaidan had apparently waited with his console on for a few hours until he had responded. He didn't get migraines himself, but could only imagine how awful it was. The controller clicked in the quiet while he tapped out a small reply.

\\\Take care of yourself. Wouldn't want to miss you twice. I'm looking forward to it, too.\\\

* * *

Kaidan easily picked out the old leather jacket with the red piping hanging over the back of a bar stool and tapped Shepard on the shoulder, quickly moving to the other side before dropping in the seat next to him. The other man looked over the opposite shoulder that was touched and smiled warmly.

"You'll have to try harder than that if you want to sneak up on me," Shepard joked, bumping his knee into Kaidan's.

"I guess so. But I was just trying to be funny," he smiled back. He caught Vega's eye and signaled him over, chair scraping over the floor as he scooted the stool closer to Shepard's and knocked the jacket off by accident. "Stealth isn't really my forte." Shepard chuckled while he picked up the jacket and draped it over the chair again, shaking his head with a sigh. James made his way over with a grin, polishing a mug with a dish towel.

"You don't say...with your slick moves every time you come in here, I'm surprised you haven't brought the place down around us. The usual?"

"You're so funny, Vega. If you please."

"Funny _looking_ , you mean…" he remarked as he shoved the customary shot of whiskey and Canadian lager across the bar to him. "You want anything else, _Loco_?" Shepard shook his head, tongue playing with one of his canines.

"Naw, I'm good for now."

"Fair enough. Lemme know if I can get you anything else. Oh, Conrad said to tell you 'hello' and his knee is doing alright, thanks for asking, hopefully he'll catch up with you soon."

Kaidan snorted into his beer.

"Where's he been lately?" Shepard asked around a swig of his drink. "He's been MIA."

"His little woman has him on lockdown to try to get him off his leg; from what I understand, he's headed to surgery to fix it if he doesn't let it heal," the burly man replied. "Thank god for Jenna…"

Shepard laughed while Kaidan took his shot of whiskey.

"Such an, um...interesting character. Why did he think we asked about his knee?" the blue-eyed man asked. Kaidan's mind raced; there wasn't much he could say that wouldn't break patient privacy laws.

"Because I asked him about it the last time I saw him," he said casually, placing the shot glass upside down on the bar. "Did you want food? I owe you, remember?" Shepard glanced at him, eyebrow raised.

"What about a chicken finger basket to share and a salad? I feel like something kinda healthy-ish."

The bartender scoffed as he threw the dish towel over his shoulder.

"Then I wouldn't recommend eating dinner at a bar. _Commander Loco_ indeed…"

Shepard rolled his eyes and took a sip.

"Just put the order in, please. I might start chewing on my jacket in the meantime. Leather has some nutritional value, right?"

"Whatever you say, _Comandante_." Vega sauntered away. Kaidan shook his head, amused at the exchange.

"Still not a commander," Shepard muttered into his mug, not looking at anybody.

"Why does he call you that, then? If you don't mind my asking." Kaidan leaned against the bar nonchalantly, sliding his foot next to the other man's. The returned knee bump and foot locking around his ankle made his heart thump a bit harder.

"I, uh...was going to be a commander if I hadn't been discharged. Would have received that officer's commission this year."

Kaidan took a sip and nodded.

"You look kinda, I dunno... _young_ to move that high up," he replied.

"I'm 29. Fast track, remember? That's not _unheard_ of for that level." Shepard quirked an eyebrow at him. "This is usually where I get told I'm 'mature' for my age. And it's usually by someone older."

"Well, I'm not going to say _that_ to you, but I definitely have a few years on you," Kaidan scoffed. The blue-eyed man looked at him expectantly. "I dunno if I want to tell you. Might scare you off." Their food was shoved in front of them and Vega leaned against the bar.

"Baby-face Blue!" he teased, "I'll admit, I'm curious about it, too. How old do you claim to be? Not saying I'll believe it, but I need a laugh." Shepard took a piece of the chicken and ripped pieces of it up to put over his salad, nudging him with his elbow. Kaidan felt his ears grow warm.

"I don't want to say...the gray at my temples should tell you something."

"Bullshit, you do _not_ have gray hair…" Shepard cupped a hand around his head and ran his thumb through Kaidan's hair above his cheek. "Huh…" Kaidan ducked out from under it, shoving him playfully in the chest.

"Ok, ok, I'm 36. If it's not gray, it's silver. Happy?"

Vega whistled.

"Baby-face indeed, _jefe_. Couldn't prove it by me." He winked at Shepard and chucked the towel he had onto the shelves behind the bar with the other used ones. "You all set for now?"

"I think so," Kaidan replied, feeling warmth spread to his extremities. Shepard had locked his ankle around his own again and was leaning against his leg. James nodded at them before moving to the rowdy group further down the bar.

"So how's it feel to be a cradle-robber?" Shepard asked innocently. Kaidan rolled his eyes before taking a draught from his beer.

"Probably about the same as it does to go after cemetery bait. What do you think?" He froze as he felt a hand on his knee briefly.

"I think it's a good thing my birthday is soon and a six or seven year difference doesn't matter."

He caught Shepard's cautious gaze, brown meeting blue.

"Great minds think alike."

* * *

They left the bar together, shoulders brushing side-by-side. Kaidan thought they might as well be holding hands, but understood the reservation on both their parts. It wasn't something that had been exactly encouraged to show in the military and both of them had it ingrained in their very being. They reached his SUV and stopped next to the driver's side door, hesitating. Shepard turned to face him, glancing back towards the bar. The parking lot was empty except for them.

"Well...here we are."

"Here we are," Kaidan echoed softly. He leaned against the side of the car, keys in hand. Shepard rubbed the back of his neck, bashful.

"My truck's over there...the red Blazer?" he said quietly, letting his hand drop and shuffling his feet. "But I guess you kinda already knew that…" Kaidan stood up again, moving closer to him. He licked his lips and gave a small sigh.

"I guess I'll see you next time, Shepard. Thanks for...keeping me company? You always make me smile." He took another step closer, putting them nose to nose and raised his eyebrows. He flicked his gaze down to the other man's lips, then met the clear blue eyes again. Shepard's cheeks flushed in the low light as he watched Kaidan bite his lower lip and release it slowly.

"Anytime. I really enjoy our talks, too. Look forward to them -"

Kaidan cut him off, pressing their lips together briefly. Time slowed for a moment, his heart in his throat.

"Me too, Shepard," he said with a small laugh, taking one of his hands in his own and rubbing his thumb over the warm skin. "It's my bright spot now." The younger man's face lit up as he closed the small gap between them.

"Yeah...mine too," he murmured before kissing Kaidan softly again. He licked Kaidan's bottom lip before sucking it between his own. Kaidan hummed in appreciation, sliding his free hand underneath Shepard's jacket on the small of his back and drawing them closer. Shepard broke off the kiss breathlessly, rubbing his cheek against Kaidan's stubble for a moment before pressing another gentle kiss on it.

"See you later, Kaidan," he whispered, taking a step back. He didn't let go of the other man's hand immediately and Kaidan felt a flush of warmth spread from his stomach. He noticed Shepard hunched his shoulders against the chill night air.

"You bet, Shepard. Drive safe."

Another shy smile before they let go of each other's hand. He unlocked his door and Shepard held it open for him as he climbed in the car. He was hoping Shepard would come closer for another kiss while he put on his seat belt.

"You too," came the affectionate response and half-grin. "Looking forward to it."

Shepard closed the door and shoved his hands into his pockets, disappearing into the darkness. Kaidan smiled to himself as he watched his breath puff over his shoulders, cheeks still flushed from pleasure as well as the cold. He nodded at Kaidan once he got into his old Chevy, grin still playing on his flushed lips. Kaidan gave a small wave and pulled out of his parking spot. He hoped it wouldn't be too long until he saw him again.


	6. Company and the Conversation It Brings

_**Private Practice**_ , by potionsmaster

Rating: T for language

A/N: Here we go…I think Jack is the breakout star of the fic, lol

Summary: All they want to do is spend more time together, even if they never admit it

* * *

 **Chapter 6** : _Company and the Conversation It Brings_

"Must be nice…"

"What is?" Kaidan asked distractedly as he reviewed x-rays on the computer screen in pod 8. Mr. Din Korlack's knees were shot; he was bone-on-bone arthritis bilaterally and a good candidate for total knee replacements. Jack chomped on her gum and tucked her pen behind her ear, leaning against the nurse's station.

"Getting some action on the side. I just broke up with my boyfriend and it's been rough." Jack punctuated it by blowing a bubble and popping it.

"I thought you had a girlfriend...Manara? Was that her name?"

She ducked her head and scratched her shoulder. Kaidan was surprised at that. Usually Jack tried to stare him down with a hard glare when they talked about touchy things in her personal life.

"Yeah, well...broke up with her, too. I met her first and she already had a boyfriend. Then they brought me into the thing they had. Turns out they just wanted me for what I could bring to the table. Financially speaking, I mean...freakin' skanks." She blew another bubble and he started rummaging around at the nurse's station. "Even though I'm the one that broke it off with them, it's still a little _rough_ at night, y'know?"

"You have been a little more surly than usual lately. Though I hear they make certain types of aids to help with that kind of problem. Don't even need a prescription for them anymore." Kaidan didn't even bat an eye at her admission; he was used to her over-sharing information. He picked up a tongue depressor.

"There you go using big words nobody else does again," she rolled her eyes. "I swear, _nobody_ but you talks like that." Another bubble formed from her lips and Kaidan smacked it with the tongue depressor, popping it. Gum smeared across her nose and she scoffed. "Ass…"

"That's 'Doctor Ass' to you. How about _churlish_ or _boorish_? Or maybe _dour_?"

"Doc!" she howled, "What's with the damn vocab lesson?!" Jack's nose was a bit red from her efforts to scrape the gum off. He tossed the wooden stick in the trash and crossed his arms, smirking.

"Just to piss you off," he chuckled.

"Ugh," she groaned. "You're never this goddamn happy. I think I like it, but if you keep this shit up, I dunno. It seems like ever since Hackett's Super Bowl shindig last month you've been over the moon. Is that where you met Mystery Date?"

He thumbed the digital screen off and held a hand out, wiggling his fingers for Mr. Korlack's chart. Jack slapped it in his hand and spit out her gum.

"Nope."

"Okay. You going to tell me anything about it?"

"It was your regular Super Bowl party with food, booze, and the TV blaring in the background. Had an interesting conversation with a couple of our mutual running buddies and Doc Massani. Kind of interesting that he was there, considering, but -"

"No, jerkface! About meeting the Mystery Date!" Jack elbowed him in the ribs as she passed him on the way to the exam room.

"Oh. No."

She groaned again and rolled her eyes, then knocked on the door before entering it. The squat little man looked curiously at them when they came in.

"Mr. Korlack! I'd like to discuss the possibility of surgery…"

* * *

"Why does it have to be so cold out?" Joker griped. He carefully settled himself in one of the chairs across from Shepard in the employee break room. Garrus propped his feet up on another chair at their table, smirking behind a pair of thick-rimmed glasses.

"March is always hit or miss here. Seems like it's going to be a cold spring, that's all."

"Yeah, yeah, did you read that off your Google glass just now?" Joker ripped into a bag of chips and stuffed a handful in his mouth. "They look really stupid, you know."

Shepard lifted an eyebrow as he brushed the wayward crumbs off his lunch bag. A chair was halfheartedly shoved in Joker's direction by the bespectacled man.

"Dr. Xen wanted me to do a trial run. She read about a few other doctors abroad beta testing them for broadcasting surgery to students and was interested in seeing how distracting it is to wear them while going about life. Seems like what she wants it for is more of a teaching hospital thing, but I know Greg and Liara and Javik had some hopes for either moving more chart information to electronic or getting rid of it completely and keeping it in a cloud. Though if that happens, I don't know what Liara and Javik would do….seems like medical records department would be nonexistent. We'll see."

"Wow...that sounds like a helluva printer jam, Vakarian. Sure you're up to the task?" Shepard broke the silence. Garrus tossed a balled up napkin at him.

"Oh, har, har, you think you're so funny…"

Joker leaned back in his chair, satisfied. He jammed another fistful of chips in his mouth, bag crinkling noisily.

"Ah, young grasshopper! You have learned well from your sensei," he said. "Speakin' of which, when can we expect the next farming session for four?" Garrus' eyes gleamed behind his glasses, giving him a slightly owlish appearance.

"Whenever he can pry his lips off Dream Marine's and they come up for air. Isn't that right?" Shepard felt his cheeks and ears grow warm while he took a drink. "Aww, look! He's blushing!"

"Go fuck yourself, huh? It's only been a few times. Don't make me regret telling you."

"A few times. Right. If 'a few times' means every single time you've gone to the bar in the past few weeks. You guys didn't waste a moment since you smooched the first time. Don't forget us when you get married," Garrus said nonchalantly. "So when do you see him again?"

The chip bag crinkled loudly when Shepard snatched it out of Joker's hands and crushed it, tossing it with the rest of his trash from lunch.

"I'm going back tonight. He'll probably be there a bit later than me. I think our office is closer to the bar than his," he said, equally casual. "Now if you don't mind, I have to get back. Samara'll be annoyed if I'm late."

He ignored the kissy face and noises Joker made at him.

"So did you actually ever find out where he works?"

"No...it hasn't really come up in conversation again. He said he likes to 'let people speculate.'"

Garrus shook his head.

"I like your Mafia hitman theory. I'm sure there's a story out there about him on a job with a bottle of whiskey and five thousand bucks. Could be a really great story, if he tells it."

"Whatever you say, Vakarian," came the exasperated response. "I really should go."

"Give him our love and devotion, huh?" Joker laughed as Shepard flipped him off while he walked down the hall.

* * *

Shepard was a little embarrassed later that night as Kaidan kissed his way up his neck, hands straying to their usual spots on his hip and mid-back. Kaidan had him pressed up against the side of his Blazer to say goodnight in the empty parking lot; his old beat up Chevy was nowhere near as nice as Kaidan's Infiniti QX50 or his freakin' Porsche. He still couldn't believe Kaidan was actually interested in him, either. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop, where he would be asked to do something he didn't want or Kaidan would demand something in return for all the drinks and food he bought for them.

Kaidan had reassured him a few times it was no issue; he just liked the company and the conversation. It was always punctuated by a knee being pressed into his and a warm smile. Guys like Kaidan didn't just get with a guy like Shepard for nothing.

"If you're thinking about how your car isn't as shiny or new, I'm either going to have to try harder to get you to stop thinking about it or we're going to have to go back inside and have the conversation once and for all that I don't give a shit about what you drive; I like _you_ ," Kaidan murmured against his neck.

Shepard huffed a small laugh and leaned back against his door, head hitting the window with a 'thump'.

"How do you read me so well?" he asked, hooking his fingers in Kaidan's belt loops. The dark-eyed man chuckled before kissing the tip of his nose.

"Practice. Besides, you usually get tense when I'm by your truck. It's not hard to figure out why. A lot of people are uncomfortable, especially when they see the Porsche. It's just 'stuff', though...please don't think I expect a certain _level_ out of you. That's not what I'm about."

He placed another kiss on Shepard's cheek before continuing.

"I guess the real question is if, um...if you're comfortable with _me_. Does it...bother you? The cars, I mean."

Kaidan pursed his lips, searching Shepard's face. Shepard smiled at him.

"No...Just hard to shake the idea that someone as well-off as you doesn't mind being seen with a plebeian like me. I've never been in that position before; it's a little odd. I can get used to it, though."

"Hope so. Because I kinda like the position we're in. Especially right now, I mean." Shepard suppressed a laugh as he felt Kaidan's thigh slide between his. He tightened his grip on his pants, dragging his nose against Kaidan's jaw before nipping at his earlobe.

"No complaints from me."

"Mmm…"

After a few moments and kisses, Kaidan pulled back again.

"So if you're comfortable enough with the cars, how about telling me your first name? The only thing I know you by is 'Shepard'," he murmured against the younger man's lips. Shepard smirked at him before nipping at his lower lip.

"I like to let people speculate," he teased. "It's _interesting_ to see what people come up with." Kaidan rolled his eyes and nudged him with his shoulder.

"Oh yeah, sure, fine. I see how it is," he flirted gently back, kissing his way up Shepard's neck. "Use my own words against me. What about a date?" Shepard stilled underneath him.

"A...a date?"

"Yeah."

"Like a _date_ -date?"

"Well, yeah...why not?"

He shrugged, trying to find the right words; he fought the tightness forming in his shoulders. The dark-eyed man waited patiently.

"I don't really do _dates_...not really," he faltered. Kaidan tucked his hands in Shepard's front pockets as he took a small step back, gazing at him steadily. Shepard could hear him trying to keep his voice neutral and light, but it didn't hide the brief look of hurt that flitted over his face in the darkness. _Fuck_ , he thought.

"Ok. We can keep it casual. I just thought you might like to go somewhere besides the bar and the parking lot." Shepard huffed a small sigh, scrubbing one hand over his buzzed hair agitatedly.

"It's...it's not you. It's...jeez, this is…" he stuttered. Kaidan raised an eyebrow slightly, letting him work it out. "I haven't been in a real relationship in a damn long time. I need to ease into it. How about we meet on Tuesday? Instead of hoping to run into each other, let's actually have a set day."

The tension eased from Shepard's shoulders when Kaidan gave him a grin and kissed the tip of his nose again.

"Sure. I can do that. I have a board meeting on Monday after work, anyway, and who knows what time I'll get out. It'll give me something to concentrate on getting through it."

"Sounds good, K...We should probably go," Shepard said reluctantly. He shifted his weight and stood up, closing the small gap between them. His lips brushed the other man's. "Good night, Kaidan."

"Good night, Shepard. Wish it were Tuesday already," he replied softly before giving him one last kiss and stepping back. Shepard unlocked his truck and half slid in, turning back to face him.

"Me too."

* * *

The door to the Scheduling department opened cautiously. Shepard tossed a glance over his shoulder to see a petite woman in a black scrub top and white bottoms sneak in and tiptoe towards Samara, eyeing him. Sometimes it was unnerving how much people stared at him when they came in; he was the only guy in the department and people were curious. Her eyes were ringed in a thick layer of mascara and black eyeliner, and deep red lipstick painted her mouth. She was covered in tattoos and had a shaved head to boot. It surprised him that she grinned at him when she came to a stop between his and Samara's desks, giving him an appraising look.

"Hey, John. Nice to meet you in person."

"Likewise…" he said, pulling his earpiece off and hanging it on its hook for a moment. "I'm sorry, though, but I don't recognize you?"

"Well, who the shit do you think I am, jellybean? We talk just about every day on the phone!" She looked incredulous and put her hands on her hips. "Kinda funny that you're almost as tall sitting as I am standing."

"Huh...you sound real different in person," he said. Jack laughed.

"Yeah...so do you. I think it's the phone system; it's so damn old, but Tali told me there's nothing comparable on the market right now with the intercom set-up. So we're stuck with it."

Samara glanced at her and beckoned her over.

"Did you need something, Jack? Or are you just visiting? Because if it's the latter, I'll have to ask you to leave. John, back to work if you don't mind?"

"I was going to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

Shepard set his phone to 'Do Not Disturb' and stood up. His supervisor nodded.

"Hurry back. Now, then, Jack, what can I help you with?"

Jack flopped in Shepard's chair and rolled it next to Samara as he left.

"Doc wanted to make sure his scheduling rules about feet and hands were up to date; we've been getting a lot of stuff he doesn't like to see. Are you guys scheduling a bunch of rechecks and follow-ups for those? We might just be getting them through urgent care, but…"

He shut the door quietly and made his way to the lobby of the floor. If that was Dr. Alenko's nurse, what kind of guy was the doctor himself? Shepard had figured Jack wasn't the girl-next-door type by the way she talked over the phone. Was he the kind to drive a flashy sports car? He didn't know; they parked on different sides of the building. He could only see the doctor's cars that parked in the same lot he did. Dr. Lawson had a Mercedes and Dr. Solus had a Tesla, of all things. Dr. Michel was a little more subdued with a Land Rover. Shepard bit his lower lip, thinking of Kaidan's Porsche. Maybe one of these days he'd find out what it'd be like to ride in it.

* * *

"Took you long enough," Kaidan griped, not looking up from the x-ray report in front of him. Jack sauntered back to the nurse's station in pod 8 and draped herself over the desk. "We have a full patient load today. Why are Mondays always so crazy?"

"Yeah, sorry. Samara and I went through your rules line by line; it took a little bit. So you know Mr. Nervous Newbie? John? Up in phones?"

"Not personally; I know of his existence through the intercom. Why?"

"Dude has some seriously pretty eyes. Very blue."

"Is that so…" he said distractedly. He fought not to think about Shepard and wound up wishing it were Tuesday anyway.

"The rest of him ain't bad, either. Makes me wonder what the hell he's doing here. He should be a model."

"Uh-huh."

"I'd hit that, that's all I'm sayin'." She shoved herself off the desk and picked up her clipboard and rifled through the office notes. "Med list is on top for you." Kaidan pulled the chart from her hands. "Might even ask him out for drinks. Wonder if he dances."

"Jack…" he sighed tiredly, tucking the report back in the file. She grinned and bumped her hip into his. "Control your limbic system. Do I need to remind you that workplace romances hardly ever end up well? This guy's hand is shattered and he needs to see Dr. Cole, not me. And more importantly, what'd you find out from Samara?"

She laughed at the dirty look he gave her after she flicked his ear.

"Dr. Cole's a good example of workplace romance working out. Her and Anderson's nurse Jacob have a thing going." Kaidan scoffed. "Or not. Anyway, the rules are all there and she gave a reminder to the phone crew. Might need to bash some skulls on the front desk side. Need me to shake down Thane?"

"Possibly. Only if we can pinpoint if it's coming from UC front desk; if it's not Phones and not them, I have no idea where all of the extremities are coming from. Maybe Front Desk in general needs a refresher on what urgent care's for; acute shit only." He shook his head, exasperated. "This crap about 'I've had mild pain for the past three months and figured now was as good as any to get it checked out' that's coming in? That's not acceptable. They need to be turned away at check in and scheduled with an actual appointment. With an appropriate practitioner...half of them shouldn't even be seen by me," he groused as they made their way towards the exam room. Right before entering, Jack put her hand on his arm.

"Easy, Dr. Crabby. Are you sure it's just the scheduling shit that's bothering you? You're not usually this touchy." Kaidan huffed an impatient sigh.

"You're right, I'm sorry. Got a lot on my mind right now," he said softly. She nodded.

"Couldn't tell. You need to get laid."

"According to you, I already am."

"Nobody says you have to do it only once a night. Sometimes you gotta ring the bell for round two."

" _Jack_!"

She stuck her tongue out and bumped the door open with her rear. Ears flaming, he entered the room.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Finch! Your x-rays show a boxer's fracture of the third, fourth, and fifth metacarpals with severe displacement. I'm going to refer you to my colleague Dr. Brynn Cole for a surgical eval and second opinion…"


	7. The Not-A-Date Date

_**Private Practice**_ , by potionsmaster

Rating: M for much smut. It's one of _those_ chapters

A/N: down the slippery slope, lol

Summary: They bang, ok?

* * *

 **Chapter 7** : _The Not-A-Date Date_

 _The Citadel_ was much quieter on Tuesdays than it was on the days leading up to the weekend. Shepard knew he was early, but it couldn't be helped; he wanted to make sure he didn't miss Kaidan. The hulking form of the bartender was polishing mugs in front of a familiar face. He waved him over.

" _Loco_! Come here and help me tell Conrad to chill out. I'm calling in the reinforcements."

Shepard slid onto the stool and slipped his beat up leather jacket over the back. Conrad was perched on the edge of his bar stool, leg stuck straight out.

"Hey, Conrad. Haven't seen you for a bit. You still in a brace? Thought that would've been ok by now."

The blonde man paled.

"I had my recheck with my doctor last week. Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow." Conrad swallowed hard. "I'm just trying to get out and not think about it. Yeah…"

Shepard nodded. A mug of beer was shoved across the bar to him by Vega and he accepted it gratefully.

"What time do you go in?"

"Surgery's mid-morning, but I have to check in to the hospital by 7:30."

"Ouch," he chuckled. "I'm sorry to hear that; that's too early to have to be somewhere. Don't you have to fast or something? I thought you weren't supposed to drink before getting cut open, too."

Conrad shifted uncomfortably on his chair.

"No food or water after midnight the night before. You're not supposed to have any alcohol for two days prior, but I haven't been. I just needed to get out of the house for a little bit. Jenna says I have to be home by 9:00 at the latest tonight."

"You're running out of time, then, Squirrely...otherwise Jenna's likely to storm the castle herself. That would be pretty awesome, in a terrifying sort of way...she told me she picked up some tricks when she was doing undercover work with Detective Chellick a few years back. I dunno, man...I'd do what I could to stay on her good side," Vega said, shaking his head. He gestured to the clock over his shoulder.

"Yeah…" Conrad said quietly, fiddling with his jacket sleeves. "She can be pretty scary when she wants to be. I'll see you guys later; it was good to talk to you again." He zipped up his jacket and hobbled towards the door.

"Good luck, man!" Vega shouted after him. "See ya on the other side!" Shepard gave the blonde man a small salute when he looked back over his shoulder one last time before exiting. They both shook their heads.

"Think he'll be ok?" the bartender asked quietly as they watched him slip through the door. Shepard raised his eyebrows and took a sip.

"More than," he replied. "I think Conrad's probably a little tougher than he thinks he is."

* * *

"Whoa, there, Conrad!" Kaidan exclaimed, leaping to the side while holding the door that Conrad had barreled through. "Slow down...you'll hurt your knee worse. Besides...you shouldn't be drinking tonight, anyway." The blonde man trundled out of the bar, brows pinched together.

"Ohh, hi there, Doc-I mean, _Kaidan_..." the blonde man said, recovering from almost running into Kaidan and winking conspiratorially. "I wasn't drinking, I was just saying 'hello' to some friends."

Kaidan raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"If you say so, Conrad."

"No, really! My wife would _kill_ me if I did anything else to hurt my knee. She says the neighborhood watch really needs me back at 100 percent." He hobbled past Kaidan into the deserted parking lot. Kaidan suppressed a chuckle.

"Just promise me you'll take it easy and I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning. We'll get you all patched up. After your recovery, it'll be almost like nothing ever happened." Conrad brightened. " _IF_ you stay off it and let it heal," he added. The blonde man looked chagrined again.

"You're the boss," he said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"You bet, Conrad," Kaidan replied, entering the building. "Have a good night." He stood inside for a moment, scanning the minimal crowd. Sure enough, there was Shepard with his mug of beer, laughing at something with Vega. He felt a flutter in his stomach when the younger man glanced over his shoulder and smiled at him. It didn't take any time at all to make his way over to the bar.

"Hey, Shepard."

"Hey, Kaidan…" came the soft response with a warm smile, "Glad you made it this time." He quirked an eyebrow at Shepard.

"This time?"

Vega shook his head, hiding a smirk as he pushed the bottle of Canadian beer and accompanying shot of whiskey across the bar to him. Shepard's ears turned a delicate shade of pink while he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Wasn't sure if the rain was going to give you a migraine today. We've been having shitacular weather lately."

"Oh! No, thanks for thinking of me, but I'm alright. It's more due to storms or extreme changes in barometric pressure than if it's just rainy, though." He tried to slip onto his stool but wound up tripping on the one next to his. The bartender snorted at him as he caught the chair before it hit the ground. Shepard stood up quickly, ready to help if needed.

"Lucky you got cat-like reflexes, Blue. I imagine you need them, if your sheer grace in here is any indication."

"Y'know, James, I do just fine out there," he grumbled, plunking himself solidly on the stool. Shepard sat down, too, giving him a sidelong glance.

"I bet you do! Wonder what it is in here exactly that makes you so clumsy." Vega leaned his elbows on bar, looking between the two of them and grinning. Shepard scoffed.

"Don't you have mugs to wash or something?" Kaidan said, exasperated.

"I'm all caught up on work at the moment; I got nowhere to be. I can take a hint, though," Vega laughed, tossing his towel over his shoulder. They watched him move to the other end of the bar, still chuckling to himself.

"So…" Shepard turned to face Kaidan, "What exactly happens when you have one?" Kaidan felt a jolt in the pit of his stomach as Shepard nonchalantly slid a foot between his. "A migraine, I mean...I've never had one myself," the blue-eyed man continued.

"Well, it depends. Sometimes I get auras where I can't see and have to have complete dark and quiet, sometimes I can power through it until the end of the work day by taking some pain killers. Always a relief to get home afterwards, though."

Shepard nodded thoughtfully.

"Wouldn't you need help, though?" he asked around a sip of beer. "If you were incapped, I mean."

Another jolt sang through Kaidan's body; Shepard had picked up his shot and handed to him, fingertips grazing each other. Their eyes locked and Kaidan felt like the floor dropped out from underneath him, losing himself in the clear blue gaze.

"Fully functioning human being, Shepard, you don't have to worry about me. Really," Kaidan said, not wanting the moment to stop. The other man ducked his head shyly and ran his tongue over a canine.

"Oh, I know you're capable of taking care of yourself. I just…" he broke off and took another draught from his beer.

Kaidan nudged him with his elbow and smiled at him.

"Thanks, Shepard."

* * *

"I guess this is goodnight," Kaidan murmured between kisses, tucking his hands in Shepard's back pockets. Shepard didn't mind in the slightest as he hooked his fingers through Kaidan's belt loops, holding them together. He rolled his hips, feeling the responding pressure against his groin and the low rumble in Kaidan's chest.

"I guess so," he replied, lips brushing against the other man's. He felt Kaidan smile and sigh lightly before resting his chin on Shepard's shoulder. More kisses were laid in a warm line up his neck and ended with a nibble on his ear, raising goosebumps. He was glad Kaidan seemed to give off a lot of body heat; the night air was steadily dropping in temperature. "I'm going to go ahead and say a _very_ good night…" he sighed as he tipped his head to the side, sucking gently on Kaidan's pulse.

"No marks, please," the dark-haired man breathed, "At least... _mmm_...not in terribly obvious places….I'll never live it down at work." He arched himself against Shepard, digging his fingers into his backside.

"Prude," Shepard chuckled against his neck before claiming his mouth again. Kaidan moaned and ran one hand up his spine, clutching him tighter with the other.

" _Haahhh_ ….keep that up, and you'll find out exactly how wrong you are…"

"I wouldn't mind that, exactly," he mumbled, untucking Kaidan's shirt and playing with the soft fuzz he found around his bellybutton. Kaidan shivered, rubbing himself on Shepard again before pulling back.

"Yeah, but _I_ might if they have security cameras here in the parking lot."

"See? What did I tell you? Prude," Shepard teased, stepping back. Kaidan shifted, trying to adjust himself in his jeans without touching. The blue-eyed man smirked knowingly at him. "If you ask nicely, I might be able to help you with that…"

"I just bet you could," he retorted cheekily. "I hate to be a party pooper, but I do have an early day tomorrow. Absolutely will take a raincheck for your assistance in my, ah... _little_ _issue_ , though…"

Shepard chuckled at the comment and stepped closer, bringing them nose to nose.

"Not so little, from my limited knowledge." He could see the color rise in Kaidan's cheeks. "And help can be arranged, I'm sure. Have a good night, Kaidan..." he said before kissing him again, slow and lingering. Kaidan groaned and deepened the kiss a moment before breathlessly breaking it off.

"Goodnight, Shepard. See you later? Maybe tomorrow?" he asked hopefully, keeping one hand on Shepard's hip while he unlocked the door to the Porsche. Shepard grinned at him in the low light.

"Count on it. I should probably let you go, though."

"Yeah...duty calls in the morning."

Shepard gave one last kiss before finally detaching himself from the dark-eyed man. He gave a little wave and made his way to his Chevy, watching Kaidan out of the corner of his eye. The guy definitely was worth a second look. Even a third.

* * *

Kaidan heaved a quiet sigh as Shepard left, teasing grin and knowing look firmly in place. His clear, blue eyes twinkled when they had flirted, trading silly jabs and playful barbs that turned into blatant innuendo as the night wore on. He scrubbed a hand over his eyes in frustration, leaning an elbow against the sporty little car. He really needed to get his head back in the present for surgery tomorrow; meniscal and ACL repairs were a common procedure, but that didn't mean that his head could be in the clouds. Shepard hadn't told him he got a new cell phone yet, so calling or texting him was out. He'd never made a booty call before, though, and wasn't sure if Shepard was just interested in blowing off steam or wanted a more serious relationship...he was a little hard to read. The question of the moment was how to proceed when he got home: shower, bed, and if he should rub one out when he settled in. He didn't think _it_ would go away very easily on its own.

Footsteps echoed across the parking lot, bringing him out of his thoughts. He sorted through his keys again, trying to find the right one. They had gotten jumbled together during the last goodbye.

"Fuck this…" he heard a familiar voice growl behind him again, footsteps coming closer. He glanced behind him and saw Shepard seconds before being pulled around and pushed against the dark blue Porsche, lips and bodies needily thrust together. He sighed in relief, fumbling for the door handle behind him. He pushed the other man back just enough to open it and fall in backwards. Shepard's brow furrowed briefly until Kaidan grabbed his jacket and yanked him in after himself. The younger man's face lit up as he tumbled into the cramped space on top of Kaidan.

"Well, hello there, soldier," he chuckled, closing the door. Kaidan wriggled underneath him briefly, trying to find a comfortable spot for both of them while capturing Shepard's lips with his own. He fumbled with the lever on the seat, finally hitting it and making it recline. Shepard nestled between his legs, massaging the bulge in Kaidan's jeans.

"Hello yourself..." Kaidan replied huskily, sliding his hands up the back of Shepard's shirt. "Not such a prude, huh?" He rolled his hips to meet Shepard's hand eagerly, drawing him down for a breathless kiss.

"I guess not...and I think it's a perfect time to cash in that rain check," Shepard murmured against his lips, feeling the trapped heat underneath his fingers, "Seems like it was a bigger issue than you made it out to be, Kaidan. Good thing I'm here."

" _God_ , Shepard, really?" Kaidan huffed, ears burning. Warm breath puffed against his neck as Shepard snorted quietly. He felt a damp spot form on his underwear as Shepard kept rubbing him through his jeans. The friction was delicious; it was enough to get him close and keep him on the edge.

"Really," came the quiet response. Shepard slid himself along Kaidan's thigh in rhythm with his hand, sucking gently on his collar bone. "I couldn't stay away, knowing you had _issues_ I could give you a hand with."

"Shut the fuck up and kiss me," he groaned, clutching at Shepard's ass. He couldn't quite attain what he was looking for; just needed to find the right spot and pressure. The other man seemed only too happy to assist.

Shepard gave a little 'hmph' in satisfaction as their lips joined again, Kaidan desperately feeding at the kiss. He made little mewling noises with every thrust of his hips against Shepard's hand, fingers digging into his back.

"You almost there?" the younger man groaned, cupping the hard length under his palm and increasing the speed.

"Oh, fuck, _yes_ … _hhhhnnng_ ….you?"

" _Mmmm_...yeah, but don't worry about me."

Kaidan had one hand firmly clutched on Shepard's ass, slipped down the waistband of his work pants and the other gripping the back of his neck as they moved. Shepard took a shuddering breath and shifted himself, need throbbing in both of them.

"D'you want- _oh, fuck_ -want me to…" he started, fumbling with the button on Kaidan's jeans. Kaidan bucked against him, arching his back.

"Don't...think...I can last...that long- _UUUUHHHNN!_ " he panted against Shepard, hips taking on a life of their own. Slender fingers wrapped firmly around his hardened length through his boxers and twisted. That was exactly the sensation he'd been craving. His knee jerked as he came, knocking into the windshield wiper lever. Shepard jumped slightly, craning his head around to see what happened and wound up jumping again as the horn beeped; his rear end had hit the steering wheel. Kaidan let his head drop back against the seat, chuckling quietly as he squirmed underneath him again. There really wasn't enough room for both of them no matter how they rearranged themselves.

"Damn," Shepard breathed, "Wasn't expecting _that_ , exactly...looks like we fogged the windows, too."

Kaidan flipped the lever to switch the wipers off and tugged gently on Shepard. The younger man settled against him, both trying to catch their breath.

"I could make a handprint on the window...just in case anybody can't figure out exactly what is happening in here," Kaidan murmured, reaching out with his left towards the window. Shepard scoffed and batted his hand away, smearing the attempt in the condensation.

"Please don't...I hate _Titanic_. If you start singing 'My Heart Will Go On', you're dead to me. You're a total dork, by the way."

"Guilty as charged. Anyway...did you, uh…" Kaidan bit his lower lip again, brows twisted quizzically as he gazed in those bright blue eyes. "You know…"

Shepard huffed an amused laugh again and pulled Kaidan's shirt down from where it had gotten rucked up underneath his arms.

"Maybe not as spectacularly as you did, but yes. I did."

"Mm. Good," Kaidan exhaled softly, wrapping an arm around Shepard and playing with the hem of his leather jacket. Shepard sighed after a moment and reached for the door handle.

"I probably really _should_ go now…" The door popped open.

"Yeah...me too. Wish we didn't have to, though."

Shepard extricated himself from the cramped space and straightened his clothes. Kaidan readjusted the seat and leaned against the steering wheel, turning on the car. The engine rumbled pleasantly. He grabbed Shepard's hand, playing with his fingers. Their eyes locked again, blue meeting brown.

"I really wish you had a phone, too. Then I could text you, or something...instead of relying on meeting up randomly at the bar. Not that I dislike meeting you here! I - _mmmm..._ "

A gentle kiss cut him off.

"Next time I see you I should have one. If I don't see you tomorrow, we'll catch up soon. Goodnight for real, Kaidan," he said softly, squeezing the dark-haired man's hand once more before leaving. Kaidan was amused to see a slight hitch in his step as he walked back towards his truck. His own pants weren't going to be that comfortable for the drive home, either; the sticky wet spot was getting steadily more bothersome the colder it got. It was a mild inconvenience though. A smile grew on his face as he pulled out into the night.


	8. Thought You'd Never Ask

_**Private Practice**_ , by potionsmaster

Rating: M. muchas nudity, in other words

Summary: They bang again, ok?

A/N: Just curious, since feedback is basically nil. And I feel weird doing this, but curiosity is killing me: Are people actually enjoying this story? Or is the mshenko fandom on this site simply silent? I'm seriously considering not posting here anymore, because I get nothing for feedback but the hit count. We're two thirds of the way through this one at this point and I see readers coming back (I think, at least...) but nobody has left a word about it. I'm flying blind...I'm not asking for book reports, but I _would_ like to know if you like it, or not, or if you found something poignant or if something stuck with you. I want to continue sharing my stories with you all, but I would also like to know I'm not tossing them into a void. Just...please. If you want more stories to read, you gotta tell me what you want. I'll finish posting this story, because it's completed and I don't want to leave it unresolved, but I'm hard-pressed to think of reasons to keep sharing if nobody wants to share with me. I have lots of stuff in the works for this universe and the main game one, but...if nobody is interested in them, I guess it was a good run and I'm sorry it won't continue.

* * *

 **Chapter 8** : _Thought You'd Never Ask_

Kaidan couldn't help the smile that formed on his face when he saw the familiar leather jacket on back of Shepard's usual stool, then the man himself toying with a mug of beer. A bottle and shot waited next to him on the polished wooden surface of the bar. He bumped his shoulder into the younger man's when he sat next to him, a little jolt of excitement skittering up his spine at the smile he received.

"Sorry I'm a bit late; had some paperwork at the office I had to finish. If I didn't get it down when it was fresh in my head, it never would have been done."

Shepard nudged him gently with his elbow, pressing their legs together.

"No worries, K." Kaidan rolled his eyes at the nickname and Shepard chuckled. "I would have waited for you. You're worth it." He glanced shyly at the dark-eyed man before turning back to his mug. Kaidan felt the heat rise in his cheeks and ears.

"You flatterer...are you flirting with me?" he teased. "Wait, no, don't tell me. Let me live in the illusion."

"No illusions."

Kaidan swallowed hard as Shepard's foot locked around his ankle. He put his hand briefly on the younger man's knee and squeezed.

"That makes me...so happy," he said softly. "And there are benefits to that happiness." He gave him a sidelong glance. Shepard spluttered around his beer, setting the mug down with a thump.

"Really?"

"Yes. Really."

Kaidan was amused as he watched the other man process the thought; Shepard kept running his tongue along his canine and shaking his head.

"Smooth, Kaidan. Real smooth."

"And yet it had the intended effect." He downed his shot and placed the empty glass carefully towards the back of the bar, then picked up his beer bottle. He held it out to Shepard and bumped it to the raised mug.

"Here's to being smooth and having it- _whoa_!"

The shock of cold wetness sliding down his back was distinctly uncomfortable as the stool was jostled. He jumped out of his chair and came face to face with a portly man in a scruffy beard and jacket trying to regain his balance and holding a half-full beer stein. Vega scowled and came over, tossing a towel at Shepard. Shepard clenched his jaw as he started trying to mop off Kaidan's back.

"Excuse me, but you just spilled your drink on me," Kaidan said. The man blinked at him, then started to stumble away. Kaidan touched him on the arm, causing him to blearily turn back to them.

"Aren't you going to say something?"

"Oh…" he slurred disinterestedly. "That sucks. Guess I'll need a new one."

Shepard stood up and tossed the used dishtowel on the bar, bristling.

"Hey, asshole! How about an apology?"

The bearded man scoffed. "Why?"

"Because you're the one who knocked into him. Just apologize! That's all we're asking," Shepard got in his face, shoving Kaidan behind him. Vega leaned on the bar, watching carefully.

"He shouldn't've been in the way, then." The bearded man swayed on the spot. "He should say sorry to _me_."

"'In the _way_ '? He was sitting down! What the fuck would he need to apologize to you for?"

"Shepard...let it go," Kaidan interjected, gripping the younger man's bicep. "It's just a shirt; I'll be fine."

"He should fuckin' apologize. He's being rude."

Vega put a placating hand on Shepard's shoulder, cracking his neck menacingly.

"Gentlemen…" he broke in, "Do we have a problem?"

" _I'm_ being rude? Listen to what's coming out of your mouth, ya _dick_. You think you got an article written about ya in _Badass Weekly_ or somethin'?" the bearded man ignored the interruption.

Shepard bared his teeth in a growl. "We're about to if this shitstain doesn't make amends."

"Chill, _Loco_ , I got this. Hock, no more tonight. You're done, _amigo_. Let me call you a cab or something, alright?"

"What d'you want me to do, huh? Give him the shirt I'm wearin'? What'll I wear, then, huh?"

Kaidan tugged on Shepard's sleeve, trying to draw him back.

"Shepard, let it _go_. C'mon…it's not worth it."

Shepard glared at the other man before allowing himself to be pulled away. Kaidan led him to the men's room and inspected himself in the mirror: the wet spot was over his right shoulder and down his back. Shepard got a bunch of paper towels and tried to blot it more.

"Figures…" he said finally, face pinched in concentration as he worked on the shirt. Kaidan had unbuttoned the top few buttons and tucked some paper towels underneath, trying to soak up some of the beer. He caught Shepard eyeing him in the mirror.

"What does?" he asked distractedly. Shepard grinned and moved closer behind him, putting his lips next to his ear.

"You didn't knock over anything tonight, so of course someone else did. And it landed on you." A brief nibble on his earlobe punctuated it. Kaidan felt a weird mixture of embarrassment and attraction as he turned around to face Shepard, heat spreading across his body.

"You noticed, huh?"

"Yep. It's endearing as hell. Do I really make you that nervous?"

"Well, you know...you try to impress a guy with mad juggling skills and the next thing you know..."

Shepard chuckled and let his hand linger on Kaidan's shoulder a moment before taking a step back and tossing the wet paper towels in the trash. They both glanced at the door a moment, listening for anybody about to come.

"You don't need to impress me, K."

Kaidan huffed a small laugh and flicked another glance at the door before ghosting his hand down Shepard's lower back and briefly squeezing his rear.

"Good thing I don't, I guess, otherwise I would have failed miserably...what's this?"

He felt a thin, hard ridge in the back pocket and ran a finger against it..

"Cell phone. Told you I'd have one the next time you saw me."

Shepard took a step closer to him, bringing them nose to nose. He held Kaidan's gaze, half-smile playing across his face.

"That you did."

The silence grew thick between them. Kaidan licked his lips, waiting.

"I…really want to kiss you right now," he whispered, hooking a finger through one of Shepard's belt loops.

"I really want you to kiss me." Shepard gave one more look at the door, then closed the distance between them. "I know a place, if you remember the address," the younger man murmured, brushing his lips against Kaidan's. "Wanna get outta here?"

"Thought you'd never ask," Kaidan replied.

* * *

Shepard pushed his shoulder into the door, shoving it inwards while he turned the key.

"Sorry...it sticks a bit," he said apologetically, tips of his ears pink. Kaidan grinned at him, playfully nudging him with his elbow before entering the apartment.

"No worries, I'm not judging...I think everybody has a door that sticks. I like your place. Very cozy."

He walked over to the bookshelf and looked at some of the titles while Shepard put his keys on a hook by the door and turned on the lamp next to the couch. A black and white chevron knit blanket was thrown carelessly over the back of the red sofa that faced a TV console set up with a gaming system. The controller was lined up neatly on the beat up coffee table, waiting to be used. Cheap black curtains blocked most of the light from the complex's parking lot. Shepard rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly in the dim light.

"It's not much, but – _mmph_!"

Kaidan cut him off with a kiss, licking at the crease of his lips, asking for entrance as he slid his hands up Shepard's lower back. Shepard melted into it, tucking his hands in Kaidan's back pockets, kneading the dense muscle he found there.

"I still like it...living lean," Kaidan said, looking around. Shepard pursed his lips.

"Way to rub it in," he said mildly, pulling back a bit and trying not to scowl. Kaidan winced and stroked his hand down the younger man's arm.

"That came out wrong. You and I have similar ideas of not having a lot of clutter, I mean. Probably beat into us, if you think about it…" He pressed a soft kiss on Shepard's lips apologetically and felt a small thrill go through him when the affection was returned. "Give me the grand tour?" he whispered, leaning against him. Shepard snorted quietly, trying not to smile. He pulled the keychain out of Kaidan's hand and hung it up next to his on the hook.

"You're lucky you're cute. Not much to see, really...here's the living room. That opening leads to the tiniest kitchen possible, and the sorry excuse of the hallway has the linen closet, a bathroom sized for a midget, and the bedroom."

"I'm most interested in the last part. Unless, of course, you want to see if we can both fit on your couch."

Shepard huffed another quiet laugh and tugged on his hand, leading him down the hall, switching off the lamp as they passed it by. Garishly colored, translucent plastic piping lined one wall leading into the bedroom. Kaidan tapped at it while he followed the other man into the modest room. A dark gray comforter covered a queen-sized bed with a couple of black, red, and white throw pillows thrown against the wall in a semblance of a headboard. The plastic tubes fed into a space-age looking cage on the top of a nondescript dresser just inside the door. Shepard flicked on the light in the room and dropped Kaidan's hand, grabbing a small container of pellets.

"I'm sensing a theme with the decorating," Kaidan chuckled.

"Yeah, well, if it's not broke, don't fix it. Meet my better half, Boo."

The small, black fuzzball immediately ran up to the edge of the cage, standing up on its hind legs and squeaking. Kaidan leaned over to look, smiling.

"Hey, little guy! I _love_ that you have a hamster, I have to say. I always wanted a pet, but I'm just not home enough...always working."

Shepard finished dispensing a measured amount of food in Boo's dish and held his hand palm up to the rodent. It sniffed his hand, then scurried on it. Shepard gently closed his fingers and brought the hamster out in the room, holding it out to Kaidan.

"Couldn't prove it by me," he teased as the dark haired man gently stroked the hamster with his finger. "I only see you at the bar. Seems like you're there more often than not lately."

"Hmm, I wonder why. Must be getting distracted from work."

"By?"

Kaidan stopped petting Boo and sidled next to Shepard, brushing a hand against his lower back.

"I wonder..." he said, letting his voice drop huskily before pressing a kiss above the other man's collar. Shepard bit back a smile as he gently replaced the hamster in the cage and latched it. Kaidan waited patiently, then kissed his way up Shepard's neck again, nibbling on his ear. Shepard tilted his head to the side.

"Mmm...got something on your mind, maybe?"

"Possibly," came the coy reply. Shepard hooked his fingers through Kaidan's belt loops, tugging him close.

"Care to share with the rest of the class?" he murmured, backing up until his legs hit the edge of the bed. Kaidan hummed against his lips, untucking the taller man's shirt and fumbling with the belt buckle.

"Shepard…"

"Mmm?"

"Stop talking. Unless you're going to tell me what you want, then by all means." He punctuated it by slipping a hand down the front of Shepard's unzipped pants and cupping him. Shepard pulled Kaidan around and gave a gentle shove to his chest, making him drop to the mattress abruptly. He kissed the other man deeply while working on opening the front of Kaidan's pants.

"I think I want what you want," he whispered, pushing lightly on Kaidan's chest again; he wanted him to lay back on the bed so he could do other things to him. He kicked his own pants off and straddled the other man, kissing him for all he was worth as their groins met.

"Oh, fuck, _yes_ …" Kaidan sighed. He slid his hands down Shepard's boxers, grasping the firm muscle and squeezing it. Shepard gave an amused 'hmph' at that.

"That's the second time you've said that in as many times as we've hooked up," he said between kisses down his throat. Kaidan heaved an exasperated sigh, pushing him back a little.

"I can find some other way of saying 'yes', if you want. 'Affirmative.' 'Yeah, baby!' 'All signs point to -' _HHHHNNGH_!" He clutched at the comforter, unexpected sensations overwhelming him.

Shepard had tugged Kaidan's pants off and grasped him through the thin cotton of his underwear, feeling the cloth absorb the moisture gathering at the tip as he knelt between his legs. He teasingly mouthed the damp cloth around the head. Kaidan thrust himself against the wet heat, moaning. Shepard kept his eyes on him, nosing aside the cloth and giving the dark pink head a swipe with his tongue before enclosing the tip completely in his mouth, hands massaging Kaidan's thighs. A shudder went through Kaidan and he reluctantly pulled on Shepard's shirt, trying to convince the younger man to stop.

"Everything alright?" Shepard asked, concerned. He crawled up the other man's body. Kaidan tried to drag him down for a desperate kiss but Shepard hovered just above his lips, brow furrowed. The dark-eyed man rolled his lips inward, looking a bit sheepish.

"Uh...yeah, just…."

"Just what?"

"You, um. Don't have to do that. If you don't want to, I mean." Kaidan's cheeks were flushed in the low light.

"Do you not like it?" Shepard was a bit chagrined at the idea. Kaidan ran a thumb over his eyebrow, smoothing it before he cupped his cheek.

"No, I do! But I don't want you to feel like you have to, or that it's expected. Also, uh…" he huffed a small laugh. glancing to the side. "Do you have any, um...protection?" Shepard blinked at him.

"Condoms? Yeah, in my drawer here. But I'm not going to bag you up before I suck you off. That's just...no."

Kaidan felt his cheeks grow hotter as the blush intensified.

"It'd be safer if you did," he mumbled. Shepard sat back at that, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you clean? Or are you trying to tell me I just got exposed to some horrifying disease? Because you look pretty healthy to me."

Kaidan wiped a hand across his eyes in embarrassment, chewing his bottom lip.

"No, I don't have anything. I just thought, y'know, since...you and I haven't ever...and we're new to each other -"

He raised his eyebrow higher, watching the man beneath him get more flustered. It was a bit cute.

"Last I knew, I didn't have anything. So I think we're ok."

Kaidan swallowed hard and slid his hands over Shepard's legs.

"I guess the next thing would be, uh, who goes where…"

He smirked at Kaidan; he really was being too adorable.

"What makes you think that's happening?" he teased, leaning forward again. The abashed reaction was worth it.

"I'm sorry, I figured with the way things were going-"

"What are you most comfortable with?" Shepard interrupted, rolling his hips over Kaidan's. He could feel the flagging interest and wasn't keen on it.

"Uhhm, whatever works for you... _damn_ , I can't think when you do that...I can go either way, really..."

Shepard captured his full lips with his own, silencing him before he licked his way down Kaidan's chest. He exposed him through his boxer-briefs again, lazily gliding his hand over the foreskin.

"How about me inside you, then? And if it makes you feel better, we'll use a condom for that. No way in hell am I using one for blowing you, though."

He gently pulled back the foreskin to bare Kaidan's tip again, swirling his tongue over it before wrapping his lips around it and sucking. His mouth met his hand as they moved in tandem, working slowly up and down the rigid heat. Kaidan threw his head back, panting. His fists clung to the comforter again.

"That...that works for me," he breathed.

"Mmmm," Shepard hummed, flicking his eyes up to watch Kaidan. The other man's chest was heaving. "Good…" He swept his tongue around the crown once more before coming off it, placing a kiss on the tip. Kaidan was trembling on the bed, eyes screwed shut and holding on to the comforter for all he was worth. Goosebumps dusted his skin across his taut stomach and arms. Shepard drank in the image as he slid the black underwear off his partner and cupped his balls, rolling them in his palm. His fingertips followed the skin back, brushing Kaidan's entrance. The dark-haired man let out a positively filthy moan, writhing under his touch.

"If you look in the top drawer, there should be a bottle of lube...could you please get it for me?"

Kaidan hauled his eyes open, blinking a few times while he refocused. He peered at Shepard between his legs, chuckling at the smirk.

"If I can move, sure. You're making it so I don't exactly have control of myself at the moment. _Ohhh_ …"

Shepard gave a long lick from base to tip while palming his balls, then slowly crawled up his body again, bathing his stomach and chest in attention. He helped Kaidan out of his shirt and tossed it on the floor.

"That's kinda the point, K," he murmured against his lips. "Nevermind, I got it." He leaned over to the side and dug in his drawer, pulling out a bottle of lube and a couple of foil packets. Kaidan languidly took him in hand, circling his thumb through the dewy drop of moisture at Shepard's tip. He snaked his other hand towards one of the packets and traced the corner of it down Shepard's chest. He shivered in appreciation and moved with his hand, dropping his own between Kaidan's buttocks. The sounds the dark-haired man made sent a frisson of excitement up his spine.

"You want to do the honors? Or me to?" Kaidan said huskily. Shepard let out a shaky breath, trying to get his legs back underneath him. He drizzled the lube over his fingers and rubbed them together, letting it warm up. Kaidan let his legs drop to the sides, looking up at him through the black lace of his eyelashes.

"Would it be too forward if I asked you to do it?"

"Not at all," he hummed. He started to rip the foil and squinted at it. "Um, Shepard? They're out of date...by, uh...five months." Shepard felt the tips of his ears grow hot.

"Well...that puts an unexpected damper on the evening. Unless you happen to have one in your wallet."

Kaidan squirmed underneath him slightly.

"No; they get damaged too easily there. I suppose I could throw on some clothes and go get some, but by the time I get back, it'd be past midnight." Shepard sat back on his heels and scrubbed his clean hand over his buzzed hair in frustration.

"I don't want you to go…" he said quietly. Kaidan pursed his lips, then pulled Shepard down for a fierce kiss. Their hips rolled together, both gasping as their skin met.

"You know what? It's fine," Kaidan said, tearing the packet open, "Not like we're worried about pregnancy or anything, and if they've only been in your drawer, the integrity is probably still decent."

Shepard quirked an eyebrow at that.

" _Integrity_?" he teased, sliding his lubed fingers between Kaidan again. Kaidan licked his lips and panted softly, pushing himself against Shepard.

"Mmhmm. Integrity. It's a... _haaah_...good thing to _haaavee_ , _ohhhh_ …"

He had the tip of the condom pinched between his thumb and index finger, but that was as far as he'd gotten with it; Shepard had started going a little further with his attentions.

"Are you a man of integrity, Kaidan?" Shepard whispered, gently mocking him. His lips brushed the other man's. Another husky moan was his response as his fingers went deeper. "I find it a bit hard to believe at the moment…"

" _Fuck_ …" Kaidan huffed, chest heaving. He writhed against Shepard's hand, wanting more. "No more than...no more than you right now…" Shepard ran his tongue over the point of one of his canines, watching him move beneath him before taking the tip of him in his mouth again. Kaidan's eyes snapped open when he felt the wet heat enclose around him, his entire lower half throbbing in need as his hips involuntarily snapped up to meet Shepard's mouth.

"You're...seriously going to make me see stars if you keep doing that and... _damn, UUUHHNN_!" He fought not to curl his hand around Shepard's head and thrust. "And-and then I'll feel bad because you didn't get anything." The words tumbled out in a breathless rush. Shepard hummed around him in response as he scissored his fingers, causing another round of back-arching moans from Kaidan. He pulled his mouth off slowly, tongue lapping at the crown.

Kaidan tugged on his arm with his free hand, drawing Shepard up for a hungry kiss. He entwined their legs together, rolling his hips to meet the younger man's.

"Seriously. If you want the night to be over quickly, keep doing what you're doing. Otherwise -" he deftly flipped them over and held Shepard's wrists together in one hand above his head, sliding their erections together, "I have other ideas." He let go of Shepard's wrists and slid his hand around the back of his head, giving one last lingering kiss before moving off him completely. Shepard sighed at the loss of contact, watching him through heavy-lidded eyes.

Kaidan unhooked his legs from Shepard's and took him in hand, circling his thumb through the moisture beaded at the slit to spread it around. Shepard groaned and ran his hands up Kaidan's thighs, gripping the thick muscle. The dark-haired man gave him a sultry glance as he guided Shepard's tip into the end of the condom, rolling down the first inch. He took one of Shepard's hands and put it below his on the condom, wrapping his other hand around Shepard's and squeezing gently.

"I want to see you move," he whispered, holding their linked hands in place. Shepard was only too happy to oblige, bucking his hips against their combined hands. Every stroke slid more of the rubber on him until he was fully sheathed in it. Kaidan found the bottle of lube and put a little more in his hand, sliding it over the covered length. He scooted himself up over Shepard's groin and reached behind, rubbing the tip around his entrance before slowly guiding it into himself.

Shepard cupped Kaidan's hips with his hands, helping steady him as he carefully lowered himself with shallow thrusts, quiet moans falling from his lips with every stroke that went deeper. Shepard's breath caught in his chest when they were finally joined completely.

" _Fuck_ …" Kaidan breathed, head bowed forward and eyes closed. He braced himself on Shepard's chest with one hand.

"Everything alright?" Shepard whispered as he slid one hand up his spine, fingers tracing the smooth skin.

"Yeah, just... _mmm_...you feel huge. It's been awhile since I've done this. Feels so good, though," he panted, tilting his hips forward experimentally. He leaned forward and captured Shepard's lips with a breathless kiss, rolling himself against Shepard.

" _Fuck, yes_ …can I move? Or is it too soon?"

Kaidan hummed against his lips, rolling himself against Shepard and trapping his erection between their stomachs.

"Need you to move... _uuuhhn_...want to feel you...:"

Shepard bent his knees and thrust, causing another moan as they kissed. He carded his fingers through the soft, dark hair on the back of Kaidan's head, other hand gripping his hip tightly against him. Their motion matched the rhythm of their kiss, Kaidan making small noises that Shepard swallowed. He rotated his hips and Kaidan pulled away from the kiss, moaning as he pushed back against it.

"Oh, _god_ …do that again," he panted, arching his back.

" _Mmm_...If you insist," he murmured, complying with the request. He ghosted his fingertips down Kaidan's exposed chest, following the trail of dark hair to mass of dark curls and wrapping his fingers around the rigid heat. Kaidan moaned again and thrust himself forward into Shepard's hand.

"Don't want this to stop…" he managed to get out between breaths, chest heaving. Shepard growled low in response, increasing the speed. He moved his hand from Kaidan's front to his hips again, holding him tight against himself as they moved. He could feel the dark-eyed man's thighs starting to tremble as Kaidan fought to keep the rhythm steady. "Want to- _hhhhngh_ \- hear you come...didn't get to last time…"

Shepard felt a thrill of excitement shoot through him at the husky desire. He wasn't really one for being vocal, but he figured being a little louder than he usually was was a fair request.

"I think that can be arranged," he gasped as Kaidan reached behind and cupped his balls, kneading them. "Fuck _me._.."

"Thought that's what I was doing," Kaidan huffed cheekily, a lock of dark hair falling across his forehead. He gyrated his hips with Shepard's and braced himself with his palm against Shepard's chest; Shepard had found that adding an extra snap with his hips towards the end of his stroke gave extra stimulation to Kaidan's spot and he was taking advantage of that discovery with reckless abandon.

" _Kaidan_ …" he breathed, feeling a familiar tightening sensation as the dark-haired man kept massaging his balls, "I'm gonna...Are you close?"

"Oh, fuck, _yes_ …" came the breathless response, fingers on his chest digging in slightly, "...wanna hear you…" Kaidan drove the pace insistently, moaning at the apex of every thrust. Shepard saw him tilt his head back, lips and dusky nipples flushed. A sheen of sweat covered him, highlighting the angles of his body.

"... _can't...hold on...any...longer-HUUUGGGHHHHN!_ " Shepard felt his toes curl as Kaidan flexed around him, a spurt of heat against his stomach.

"Ah, _god! HHHHNNNNGH!_ "

He dug his fingers into Kaidan's hips, keeping them joined as they rode the aftershocks together. Kaidan fought not to clutch with the hand on his chest, his own heaving as he tried to catch his breath. As they slowed their motion, he blinked lazily at Shepard and leaned forward, satisfied smile on his face. He hunched over, kissing the younger man softly. Shepard brushed the wayward lock of hair off Kaidan's forehead after the kiss broke.

"Magnificent," he whispered, running his hands up Kaidan's back. Kaidan ducked his head and glanced to the side in embarrassment, biting his lower lip.

"Well, thank you? I think?" he chuckled, reaching for the box of tissues on the nightstand. Shepard caught his fist in his hand after Kaidan had cleaned them up a bit and drew him down for another kiss.

"Wouldn't say it if it weren't true," he murmured sleepily, prying the balled up tissues out of Kaidan's hand and tossing them at the trash bin. Kaidan sighed and touched their foreheads together, feeling him soften and slip out.

"Right back atcha, then…" he replied warmly, rolling on his side. Shepard had his arm around him, pulling him close. "I don't think I'll be able to move for a bit. Legs are going to be wobbly for a few minutes, I think. And probably a little sore tomorrow, but in a good way."

"You don't have to pick up and go immediately, you know. You can stay for a bit. If you want to, I mean…" Shepard said. He peeled the condom off and tied it, wrapping it in another tissue and left it on the nightstand. Kaidan gave a tired sigh and nestled against him. He fought to keep his eyes open.

"I'm not leaving at the moment. This is nice." He stifled a yawn and kissed Shepard lightly on the cheek. "Thanks." Shepard gave a noncommittal grunt and rubbed Kaidan's arm slowly, fighting the urge to fall asleep. It was a losing battle. "Just need to close my eyes for a few minutes, then I'll get out of your way."

Shepard stroked his arm idly, his own eyes already closed.

"Take the time you need," he mumbled, "No rush."

* * *

Kaidan came to a while later, head rested against Shepard's shoulder while he enjoyed the warmth from the arm wrapped around him. The younger man was tracing his fingers lightly through the fuzz on Kaidan's arm, his own propped behind his head.

"...stay the night?" came the soft request before a kiss was pressed against his forehead. Kaidan smiled and tilted his head up, his lips meeting Shepard's sleepily.

"Thought you'd never ask."


	9. Breakfast at Shepard's

_**Private Practice**_ , by potionsmaster

Rating: T for language and insinuations

Summary: AWK-warrrrddddd…..

A/N: Their misery is my lifeblood. Also. I held off posting this chapter to see if someone, _anyone_ would give feedback. All I got was crickets. So, uh...thanks? I'll finish posting this one. It's already finished. But I'm really hard pressed to think of why I should keep sharing if nobody wants to share with me. Even if it's just a smiley or frowny face.

* * *

 **Chapter 9** : _Breakfast at Shepard's_

Shepard groaned when the alarm rang in the morning; he was really comfortable and didn't want to move. A heavy arm tightened around his stomach and his eyes snapped open. Memories of the night before came flooding back. Clothes tossed carelessly to the ground, the breathy moans and panting from his dark-eyed companion, the smooth skin under his hands...his ears flushed as he tensed up, fighting his arousal at the mental images.

"...five more minutes," came the sleep-deepened growl behind him, "I don't want to get up just yet."

The sheets rustled as the other man shifted, snugly tucking himself behind Shepard. He ground himself against Shepard's backside, sliding his morning erection against him with a hum of contentment. Clearly, he had no reservations about what they had done. Shepard tapped his arm gently, squirming out from under it. Kaidan sighed deeply as he moved his arm and rolled onto his stomach. The alarm's shriek intensified. Shepard slapped blindly at it while struggling to sit up. The sudden silence was almost as deafening as the alarm itself after he managed to shut it off, swinging his legs over the side of the bed with a groan.

"I wish," he mumbled, "But I have work at 8. My supervisor's a real stickler for being there when the clock rolls over."

"So call in sick," came the muffled response through his pillow. Shepard pursed his lips and hauled himself out of bed as he threw on his boxers from the night before, stealing a glance at the muscular body in his bed. The blush came back full force as images of that body coming while riding him last night flitted through his thoughts. He busied himself by gathering his work clothes.

"Can't. Need the job too much. Besides, I kinda like it. Uh, you can stay here as long as you like, though...Just lock the door when you leave."

"I'll write you a doctor's excuse. 'Dear hard-ass supervisor. Please excuse Shepard from his absence today, as he is probably sore from rocking my world last night. Signed, Kaidan."

He rolled over and sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. The sheets pulled fetchingly across his lap. Shepard paused in getting dressed, glancing over at the other man. He received a soft smile as Kaidan cocked his head to the side and ruffled the back of his own hair.

"Sorry...I crack stupid jokes when I'm nervous. I just...I really like you, Shepard. I hope this is the start of something good. For both of us."

They stared at each other for a moment, then Kaidan looked down, drawing the sheets closer to him and pinching his lips together. Shepard exhaled softly, then sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'll be out of your hair by the time you leave for work. I – _hmm_?"

Shepard interrupted him with a peck on the lips, then touched their foreheads together, sliding his hand along the back of his neck.

"It's fine, Kaidan. Not necessary. I wasn't lying when I said you could stay as long as you wanted. Don't you have work, though?"

Kaidan's dark eyes were guarded as he pulled back.

"I don't have to go in today until mid-morning. Perks of being able to set my own hours, relatively."

Another soft kiss silenced him, this one a lasting a little longer.

"I'm not the most talkative in the mornings, so I'm sorry for acting like a mute...I like you, too, Kaidan. A lot. Definitely wouldn't be opposed if this happened more often."

The other man dragged himself to the edge of the bed and bent over to pick up his own clothes from the floor. Shepard stood up again with a sigh.

"At least let me make you some coffee before you leave. I make a pretty mean cup." He smiled at Shepard while he tugged his underwear up and left his jeans unbuttoned, twisting his torso to stretch.

"Deal. Help yourself to whatever you want in the fridge or cupboards. I think there's cereal and milk, or some eggs if you're feeling adventurous."

Kaidan watched him button his shirt and tuck the tails into his pants.

"I can make you something to go, if you're in a rush. Kinda weird that they make you dress up for working in a call center. Not like anybody's going to see you."

Shepard chuckled at that, sliding his belt though the loops on his pants.

"Naw, that's alright. I don't eat breakfast." That was met with a scowl. "And my supervisor likes to remind us periodically that even if we're not seen, we are still professionals. Guess that means we have to look like that in case the higher-ups come through and see us."

Kaidan scoffed, then said, "Sounds harsh. But back to more crucial things: breakfast. It's the most important meal, you know...sets your appetite and metabolism up for the rest of the day. Not even a piece of toast with peanut butter? And half a banana?"

The hamster chittered in his cage as Shepard handed Kaidan his shirt. Their fingers brushed, which made Kaidan's ears flush.

"If you insist, but I'm fine with just the coffee. Really," Shepard smiled at him. Kaidan rolled his eyes as he put his shirt on.

"Don't be stubborn. Let me impress you. Oh, dammit..."

"What?"

"I hate to ask, but...do you have a shirt I could borrow? This one still smells like beer."

Shepard quirked an eyebrow.

"I guess...help yourself to whatever's in the closet, really, though there's nothing really fancy. You're not going home first?"

"No; no sense backtracking. Office is closer than my house, and I keep a toiletry kit in my desk for things like this. I can get there a little early and nobody's the wiser."

The eyebrow raised higher and Shepard glanced to the side, scrubbing a hand over his buzzed hair.

"Shit, that sounded bad!" Kaidan groaned, hiding his eyes behind a hand and cheeks flaming again. "I'm sorry! Sometimes I have late nights or really ridiculously early calls in the morning, and I need a way to 'refresh' myself. I don't, uh...don't usually just fall into bed with someone..." He dropped his hand and fidgeted with his shirt. " _Believe_ me. I wouldn't have done this if I didn't think we had something. You're the first in _years_."

Shepard met his eyes, searching his face. The other man looked distraught. He moved closer, chucking a finger against his chin.

"That's good to hear, I guess. I don't like being a notch in someone's belt."

"I think the last time was...Rahna? Way back in –"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. Tell me later if you feel like you have to. You're cute when you're flustered, you know that?

A quiet laugh huffed in response. Kaidan rolled his lips inward and shook his head, glancing away before shyly catching Shepard's gaze again.

"I do now. Though I think we're running out of time if I'm going to make you breakfast."

Shepard kissed him softly, then made his way to the kitchen. Kaidan followed, pulling his socks on.

"It's alright, really. You don't have to."

"But I want to." He washed his hands in the kitchen sink, then started punching buttons on the single-serve machine. Shepard cocked his head to the side.

"Yeah, but why? I'm not used to having someone fuss at me this much over breakfast."

Kaidan smiled at him over his shoulder and pulled out the loaf of wheat bread he found in the cupboard. Shepard pulled out his toaster and set it up on the small counter top.

"I like taking care of people. Always have."

"Still not used to it," he retorted, getting a couple of mugs from the cabinet and turning to face the other man.

"Maybe we can change that," Kaidan said warmly. He took the mugs from Shepard's hands and put one under the brewer. Shepard rolled his eyes.

"Fully-functioning human being, Kaidan. Isn't that what you said to me the other night?"

"Yeah, but still. Let me do it. Makes me feel less awkward. Got any travel mugs? You can take it with you and I'll clean up, then go."

Shepard gestured to the cabinet above the fridge, admiring the view as Kaidan stretched to reach it.

"I think I have two, so if you wanted to bring your own coffee, go ahead. I'm sure I'll get it back at some point."

Kaidan smiled shyly at him and popped the lid on the insulated cup, handing it to him. Their fingers brushed again and the heat rose in his cheeks once more.

"I would say that's a good possibility. Especially if you give me your phone number so I can call you and drop by instead of chance-meeting at the bar. Got a pen and paper?"

He busied himself with packing a couple of pieces of peanut butter toast with banana slices in a baggie for Shepard, listening to a drawer being opened and rummaged through, and trying to keep an eye on the clock. He had no idea how far Shepard's work was from the apartment, but he definitely didn't want to make him late for it. A shadow fell across the counter and he felt a presence at his back. Kaidan turned to find Shepard standing inches away from him, folded paper held up and a soft smile on his lips.

"Ahh. Thank you!" he said, tucking it into his pocket. "If I could borrow the pen, I'll give you mine."

Shepard's smile broadened and he handed the pen and paper over silently, not moving. Kaidan huffed a laugh and pressed the paper against his chest, writing his cell number as well as he could. The blue-eyed man pulled it away when Kaidan was done and pressed their lips together, closing the distance between them. Kaidan hummed against him, not wanting it to stop.

"Sure you can't call in and we can make a day of it?"

"I'm pretty sure. My supervisor wouldn't like it. Oh, and by the way?"

"Hmm?"

"My name is John."

They kissed one last time and John left, the door closing with a small click. Kaidan looked down at his jeans ruefully. Thank goodness he had a spare pair of slacks and scrubs at the office.

* * *

 _ **Kaidan**_ _07:53:_ Ha! Now I can actually text you. Have a good day, John :)

 _ **Shepard**_ _07:54:_ You too, K

 _ **Kaidan**_ _07:54_ : You're not driving, are you? Tell me you're not!

 _ **Shepard**_ _07:55:_ Ok, I'm not. :P

 _ **Kaidan**_ _07:56_ : Srsly...not funny

 _ **Shepard**_ _07:57_ : 'Srsly'...I'm not. i got to work ok and am about to clock in

 _ **Shepard**_ _08:21:_ you find a shirt, btw?

 _ **Kaidan**_ _08:21:_ Yeah...and I refilled Boo's water bottle for you, too. It was a little low

 _ **Shepard**_ _08:34_ : you didn't have to do that, but thank you.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _08:35_ : well, you didn't have to let me stay the night, either, but I'm glad you did ;)

 _ **Shepard**_ _08:37_ : heh. me too

 _ **Kaidan**_ _08:38_ : def need to do it again sometime. like over a weekend or something, so neither of us has to rush off in the morning

 _ **Shepard**_ _08:49_ : sounds like a plan

 _ **Shepard**_ _08:49_ : so….what shirt did you wind up taking?

 _ **Kaidan**_ _09:12_ : sry, was driving.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _09:13_ : blue. :) reminds me of you.

 _ **Shepard**_ _09:17_ : ….

 _ **Kaidan**_ _09:18_ : Your eyes, I mean.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _09:26:_ ok, that sounded way better in my head

 _ **Shepard**_ _09:28:_ no, it's fine. I had to answer a call

 _ **Shepard**_ _09:31_ : and now I'm letting this woman drone on and on about her daughter not helping her around the house and how she needs to have someone do it because she can't

 _ **Kaidan**_ _09:47_ : Eesh. souns...thrilling.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _09:47_ : *sounds

 _ **Kaidan**_ _09:48_ : Hey, I just got settled at the office. I might not be able to respond as fast, but I will def talk to you at lunch :)

 _ **Shepard**_ _09:52_ : you bet :)

* * *

"Oh, honey, you're such a good listener. Tell your boss you deserve more money!" the woman on the phone said after finally getting to the point of her call. Shepard chuckled as he copied the pharmacy information into the note and added that she had questions regarding the medications she was refilling, would the nurse please call the patient at the following number. He could practically hear Jack rolling her eyes at the request.

"I can try, but I don't think they'll go for it," he joked back, checking his cell again for another text. Nothing yet. "Is there anything else I can help you with today?"

"Yeah, honey, could you tell me when my doctor has an opening? Now that I got rid of one knee problem, of course the other one wants to flare up."

Shepard pulled up her account again and opened Dr. Alenko's schedule, scrolling through the days to find the next available appointment. If he didn't find anything within the next three weeks, he would have to ask Jack for a work-in.

"Looks like...the next available spot is…." he trailed off, going back through the current month again. "Not until mid-April. If you're comfortable waiting that long, I can set the appointment, then put you on his waiting list. We can call you if something pops open sooner and if nothing does, then you're on his schedule regardless."

The lady clucked her tongue, then Shepard heard paper shuffling.

"That's a bit far away...is there anyway I could get in either today or next Friday? It's really killing me."

He pursed his lips, scrolling through the schedule again.

"I'll have to check with his nurse, see if we can do a work-in. I _might_ be able to put you on next Friday as the first appointment; he never starts until mid-morning, anyways." A flit of nerves went through him as he remembered the conversation from this morning. 'Him and Kaidan, apparently,' he thought, 'Must be nice.' He looked up what extension Jack was at: pod 8 again. "Do you mind if I put you on hold for a minute? See if I can get ahold of the nurse?"

"Not at all, honey, you do what you need to to get my appointment."

"Ok, it'll be just a moment…" he punched the hold button and checked his phone once more. Nothing. Kaidan must've been wrapped up with something, just like he said he would. He punched the nurse's station at pod 8. "Jack?"

* * *

"I need details."

"No, you don't." Kaidan rolled his eyes, trying to ignore his nurse. He tucked his phone in his pocket, keeping the text log between him and Shepard open.

"Aww, c' _mon_ , Doc! You never show up this early in a weird shirt and jeans. Plus, you used the toothpaste you keep in your desk. Sounds like the walk of shame to me," Jack needled him gleefully.

"It can sound like whatever you want it to, I'm still not telling you anything."

She scowled, shooting him a dirty look.

"You're no fun."

"Yep, a real stick-in-the-mud. Where's my chart?"

"Ash, help me out!" she called out down the corridor, shoving a clipboard across the desk at him. The nurse practitioner raised her eyebrows and didn't take her focus off her paperwork, dark hair glistening in its tight bun as she shook her head.

"I've been trying to get stuff about his personal life out of him ever since he hired me. Good luck."

" _Jack?_ "

A pen got chucked at the phone. Kaidan glanced at the display: _IC from John_. He felt a rush of warmth go through him as he thought of Shepard.

"No hablas Español, pendejo."

" _Uh-huh, me either. Can I do a work-in?_ "

She heaved a gusty sigh and pulled up the schedule on her computer.

"Depends. When're you thinking and who's it for?"

" _Next Friday, 9:50am. Chart #461823...I think she's looking for a cortisone injection._ "

Jack chewed her bottom lip, looking over the previous office notes. Kaidan pulled his cellphone out, glancing at it. No new texts. He briefly thought about sending one that said, "I miss you," but decided against it at the moment.

"Uuuummm, no injection. She just got one a month ago. Has to be every 90 days."

Kaidan quirked an eyebrow at her and peered at the account over her shoulder.

"Ask if she wants to discuss a partial replacement," he mouthed at Jack; any time John called down and he responded, the other man seemed to freeze and get nervous. Samara must have drilled it into the schedulers that they shouldn't talk to doctors no matter what. He received another exasperated eye-roll.

"Doc says to ask if she's interested in surgery or not."

" _Hey, Dr. A. If you wanted to talk to her about it, I'm sure she'd be open to the idea. She might talk your ear off about how she won't get any help during recovery, though. Seems to be the theme of the morning._ "

"Oh, I'm sure. Say, you sound bright today. Finally settling in up there?"

" _Yeah, I guess. Thanks for asking, sir._ "

Kaidan looked at his cell phone's locked screen again, brow furrowed. The patient's complaint seemed familiar.

" _So it's ok if I use one of the Nurse Only slots?_ "

"Do it up, buttercup. I'll make sure Doc's butt is in the room with her at the right time."

" _Heh...thanks, Jack. I appreciate it._ "

"You used up all your favors today. Don't ask me for anything else."

The intercom when dead. Kaidan shook his head, concentrating on the chart on his clipboard in front of him again. He mocked himself for trying to relate everything back to Shepard today; he must be more smitten than he thought.

"Play nice, Jack. And leave my butt out of it."

"Yes, _Dad_ ," she quipped.


	10. Doctors Play Video Games, Too

_**Private Practice**_ , by potionsmaster

Rating: T for language

Summary: Cat's out of the bag, as it were

A/N: Poor Shepard. AND! Shout-out to tattoodaffodil, who let me know that I am not, in fact, watching my words float off into the abyss. Probably will post the next story in the series just for you, since you're interested in what happens next.

* * *

 **Chapter 10** : _Doctors Play Video Games, Too_

Kaidan bit his tongue as Miranda droned on about the potential merger with Cerberus as they rounded the corner from the boardroom, pulling out his cellphone. He had refilled the travel mug and was carrying it everywhere with him today, too. When he had a spare moment, he liked remembering the circumstances of getting it from Shepard. Biting back a sigh, he made himself pay attention to what Dr. Lawson was saying; she was the president of the practice after all. She seemed to be coming around to the idea that there was something going on their CEO wasn't telling them about the potential merger with Cerberus. Dr. Massani had staunchly folded his arms and said in his rough, British accent, "Abso-fucking-lutely not. Are we done? Because I don't have all goddamn day to debate this…" Dr. Hackett had glanced at him, then expressed the same sentiment in a more dignified manner. Dr. Anderson was adamant about getting more information before making any kind of decisions. The doctors were split pretty evenly on if they should proceed or not, much to their CEO's frustration. Anoleis had produced some fancy charts and graphs, but Kaidan was still uneasy about it.

They turned another left around the corner and found themselves in the lobby of the business floor in front of the bathrooms, elevators, and break room. He felt another flutter in his stomach as he thought he caught a whiff of Shepard's aftershave. Maybe it was in the shirt he borrowed.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _12:22_ : How's it going? I got stuck in a meeting and I'm starving. Boss-lady seems like she's listening, though, so that's good.

 _ **Shepard**_ _12:22_ : :( Just finished mine; gotta clock in by 25 after. Maybe it'll be dead later today in the crow's nest and I can text more.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _12:23_ : Aww. Hopefully so. Sorry it took so long for me to get back with you

 _ **Shepard**_ _12:23_ : I know you're a workaholic, it's ok. You'll just have to make it up to me later

 _ **Kaidan**_ _12:24_ : Count on it ;)

He held back a smile and glanced at Miranda while he put his phone back in his pocket. She didn't seem to notice or care he wasn't paying his full attention to her.

"Dr. Alenko, I'm rather happy you were able to bring some of those issues to light with Cerberus; it seems there's a bit of a lack of communication between -"

" _OOOF_!"

"OH, my god, I am _so_ sorry…"

A solid shoulder collided with his own and he staggered backwards a step, coffee sloshing in the mug. Luckily the lid stayed in place. He grabbed onto the other person's arm to stabilize himself and did a doubletake; that voice was-

" _Shepard_?"

Wide blue eyes locked with his in shock. Shepard's face drained of all color and he bolted through the nearest door. Miranda wrinkled her nose.

"Did he just...dash off into the women's loo?"

Kaidan nodded, speechless. He couldn't believe it. A disgusted snort broke his concentration as Miranda tossed her glossy hair over her shoulder.

"I take it you weren't expecting to see him, whoever it was. Find me later after you sort it out; I want to hear more of what your nurse has to say about working for Cerberus. Uncouth as she is, I would still like to hear examples." Her sharp heels clacked down the hallway towards her office, leaving him blinking in disbelief.

* * *

Shepard smiled to himself as his phone pinged with another text from Kaidan. It was too bad he was at the end of his lunch break already. He texted back as much and got an immediate response as he left the lunchroom. Murmuring voices and the sharp sound of heels came from the opposite end of the hall, heading towards him. He didn't pay them any mind; he was too busy trying to come up with a cheeky response to Kaidan's winky-face and promise to make the lack of texting up to him somehow. He could think of a few suggestions. The voices got louder as they all passed in front of the elevators.

"Dr. Alenko, I'm rather happy you were able to bring some of those issues to light with Cerberus; it seems there's a bit of a lack of communication between -"

Shepard still didn't look up until his shoulder smashed into something very solid. He staggered backwards, clutching at his phone.

" _OOOF_!"

"OH, my god, I am _so_ sorry…"

He snapped his gaze to the person he ran into and started babbling an apology. Figures that he would run into a doctor, of all people. Dr. Lawson, specifically. President of Normandy Orthopedics. And another doctor.

…who was wearing his blue shirt? And carrying his travel mug?

A warm hand grabbed his arm to keep them both upright and familiar, surprised brown eyes locked on his.

" _Shepard_?"

Kaidan. Sudden realization hit him and he couldn't breathe. _Fuck_. It all made sense now: "I like fixing things." "I like to help people." The Porsche. "I have a good bedside manner." The Infiniti. "Let me write you a doctor's excuse." Odd work hours he was able to set. How could he have been so stupid? Bile rose in the back of his throat and he bolted, smashing through the closest bathroom door on his right.

Thank god no one was in there to hear him dry heave.

He wet a paper towel and wiped his face with it, breathing heavily.

"Oh my fucking god...I fucked a doctor. That I _work_ for," he said to his reflection. "How could I not know I was fucking a _doctor_?" His phone buzzed in his pocket.

 _Kaidan_.

Missed call. Two missed calls. Voicemail. Shepard's hands shook. He said his name was 'Kaidan', but that didn't make sense; Dr. Alenko's name was 'Michael'. Was he lying? Getting sick to his stomach was still a distinct possibility. He fought to control his breathing.

The phone buzzed again. Three unread messages.

He wiped his face with the moist paper towel again and dried his hands, still shaking. He didn't want to go out again until he knew for a fact Kaidan wasn't waiting for him. If that was even what his name was.

An idea struck him. He called Joker.

"Hey...I need a favor…"

"I already told you, dude, Garrus does the printer jams. I'm the 'fix it from the control room' guy."

"Yeah, different kind of favor. I, uh...I'm trapped and I need you to run interference. Are you on the business floor?"

"Yeah. Where are you?" Shepard heard him gathering his crutches and hauling himself out of his chair. "Be right back, guys, I'm going on a search and rescue. Avenge my death if I don't return." Muffled sounds came from Tali and Greg in the background. "Shut it, Adams, even I need to get up sometimes…sorry, Shepard, you were saying?"

"I just need you to check out the hall in front of the elevators."

"Oookay…almost there," Joker said, panting a bit. "What am I looking for, exactly?"

"Just...if anybody's there, can you get rid of them? _Please_?" He paced in front of the sinks, stomach churning. The humiliation was overwhelming as an unbidden memory from the night before washed over him: his hands on Kaidan's hips, guiding their movement together, fingers digging into the dense muscle, Kaidan's head thrown back and moaning as -

"Oh, hey, Doc! What's shakin'?" Joker hung up.

* * *

" _You've reached Shepard, leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can._ "

"Shepard...John, it's...it's Kaidan. Please pick up. I think we both need to talk. Just...call me back...please." He sighed as he hung up, staring at the screen. The laborious, slow sound of crutches came around the corner as he scrubbed a frustrated hand over his eyes; he didn't know what he should do. He needed to get back downstairs and start afternoon clinic, but he didn't just want to leave the situation the way it was.

"Oh, hey, Doc! What's shakin'?" Jeff said brightly. Kaidan gave him a tight smile, tucking his phone away. Now that he thought about it, he could hear the same speech pattern from the one they called Joker in the gaming group.

"Too much, to be honest. Hey, uh...you know Shepard, right? Next time you see or talk to him, would you ask him to give me a call? We've got some things we need to discuss."

Jeff arched an eyebrow at that.

"Yeah, uh, sure. What pod are you at?"

"I'm usually in 8, but don't bother with that. He's got my personal number. Have a good weekend, Joker." He gave one last look at the door to the women's bathroom, then shuffled off towards the east stairs. Jack would make it her mission to hunt him down if he were late for office.

* * *

Joker watched the doctor walk away, shoulders stooped. Once he was sure he was clear, he called Shepard again.

"So tell me. How do _you_ have Dr. Alenko's phone number? Because last I knew, you were seeing this dude named 'Kaidan' and he had dreamboat eyes and was super into games like us and WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME WE WERE GAMING WITH ONE OF OUR BOSSES, YOU CRETIN?" he whispered furiously into the mouthpiece, craning his head around. "And where the hell are you?"

The door to the women's bathroom cracked open and Shepard's pale, sweaty face peered through the crack.

"Because I didn't fucking know he was a goddamn _doctor_ , alright?" he ferociously whispered back through the door. "It never came up in conversation and we didn't really talk about jobs other than generalities." He flicked off the light and cautiously came out, leaning against the wall with his head ducked. Joker shook his head, laughing.

"How do you even get yourself into these situations, man? I mean, it's one thing to wish you had a sugar daddy, but to actually get one and not know you work for him?"

Shepard shot him a dirty look, crossing his arms.

"He is _not_ my 'sugar daddy', ok?" he sighed, dropping his head back against the wall with a solid 'thunk'. "And he never said he was a doctor. Ever. Just said he liked helping people and working with his hands."

Joker glanced at his phone.

"...might wanna get back to the crow's nest. Samara will have kittens at how late you are. Thank god it's Friday, huh? You won't have to deal with it until Monday again."

He pushed off the wall shakily.

"I dunno, Joker...can I even do that? I mean, it's not like there's 'no frat' regs here, but I haven't heard of anybody dating in the office." He started making his way around the corner towards the bullpen. Joker stumped after him.

"Yeah, I know. But there's a non-discriminatory clause in the handbook. No favoritism. He can't let you do whatever you want and you can't schedule appointments for just him."

"I know that," Shepard snapped at him, hand on the handle to the phone room. "I just...fuck, I can't be here right now." He pushed open the door and Samara immediately turned in her chair, concern furrowing her brow. Joker followed him in and quietly shut the room off from the bullpen. A mild cacophony of phones ringing and "Normandy Orthopedics, how may I direct your call?" swirled around them. He slunk over to his tiny cubicle next to Samara.

"John...you're a half an hour late. I'll have to use personal time to make up for it."

He nodded mutely and sat heavily in his chair. Joker observed quietly. Shepard rummaged through his desk and pulled out a calendar he'd been given in his cheat sheet notebook, he had stashed it in his desk and hadn't given it another thought. It had all the doctor's portraits on it. Sure enough, there was Kaidan. _Dr. Michael K. Alenko: General, Joint Replacement, Sports Medicine_. His ears burned again. It was right here in front of him, the whole time.

"John. Are you alright?"

"I'm sorry, Samara, I...got sick in the bathroom. I don't know if I can make it through the afternoon. Jeff had to rescue me."

"Oh! Dear...log out and make sure your phone's on 'Do Not Disturb' so it doesn't ring once the phone line's put to the answering service at 5:00, please. Hopefully you'll feel better after the weekend," she said kindly, "I'll approve the sick time."

"I really appreciate it," he said, closing down his computer and shutting down his desk. "Thanks, man…" He nodded towards Joker as he rushed out of the room and down the east stairs to the parking lot. No wonder he never saw the Porsche or the Infiniti here, either. He always parked in the east lot. Kaidan's office was on the west side of the building; he probably always parked there.

He sat in the driver's seat of his Chevy, staring at his phone. Maybe he'd be brave enough to text Kaidan and break it off tomorrow.


	11. Beyond the Scope

_**Private Practice**_ , by potionsmaster

Rating: T for language

Summary: Trouble in Paradise

A/N: Sad trom-boooooone. What will happen to our boys? This and one more chapter will finish it up.

* * *

 **Chapter 11** : _Beyond the Scope_

"Cancel office from 2 o'clock on today. I'll see whoever's here in the waiting room, but beyond that, reschedule them all or put 'em on Ash," Kaidan said tersely, slapping his clipboard on the nurse's station. Jack blinked at him in disbelief.

"What the hell? You never cancel if you can help it. Family emergency?" she asked, "Or...better yet...something to do with the walk of shame you had to do this morning?" He clenched his jaw, feeling his ears burn.

"NO FUCKIN' WAY!" she crowed, throwing her arms in the air like a boxer who won a match. "DOCTOR TIGHT ASS GOT SOME AND THERE'S TROUBLE IN PARADISE!"

"Just do it," he snapped at her before sitting in his dictation room. He looked up Shepard's extension on the interoffice chat program, then punched in the numbers. It beeped quickly and flashed 'Do Not Disturb' on the display. Kaidan growled in frustration, then hit Samara's extension.

"Hello, Doctor. Is there something I can help you with?" her prim voice came through the earpiece.

"Hey, Samara. Is John available? I need to get ahold of him."

"I do apologize, but he went home sick for the afternoon. Is there something I can help you with?" she asked, polite curiosity lilting. Kaidan fiddled with a pen in frustration.

"No, no, that's alright...I was calling to check up on him. He didn't look well when I saw him earlier in the hallway upstairs."

"Oh…"

"Well, actually, there is something you can help with. I'm cancelling office this afternoon starting at 2. Please don't schedule anything new for next week until everyone from today has been either put on Ash's schedule or moved around on mine."

"Oh! Oh, of course. I'll alert all who schedule. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

He heaved a sigh, tossing the pen on the desk.

"No, I guess not. Thanks again."

The computer chirped and the chat window flashed a minute later as an office-wide message was sent out: " _To all who schedule: Dr. Alenko has cx'd office today after 2:00. Please do not use next week's schedule until further notice. ~Samara_ " Jack cursed as her phone immediately started ringing; no doubt schedulers were asking her for work-ins. He didn't care. He leaned on his elbows, face buried in his hand.

"Hey, Doc…" Ash said softly, leaning against the door. "What's going on? You ok?"

"Fan-fucking-tastic," he muttered, not removing his hand from his eyes, "I think I just screwed up a really good thing I had."

She edged into the cramped dictation room. They could hear Jack's fingers flying over her keyboard as she tried to accommodate the schedulers and prep the few charts they had left.

"You'll fix it," she said, matter of fact. "You always do."

He snorted.

"Nice to know I inspire so much faith in you, Ash. But this one might be a bit beyond the scope of my license."

"Luckily you're really good at fixing stuff, though. Aren't you? That's why you're here. You told me when you hired me that Normandy Ortho only hired the best people who could fix the impossible. Who weren't afraid to step up to the plate and take on a challenge. Sounds to me like you've got one."

Kaidan dropped his hand and glared at her.

"Stop using my words against me," he groused at her, biting the inside of his cheek.

"Ah, there it is. Thought I'd lost it for a moment."

"What?"

"I see a smile trying to poke through. Means my pep-talk is working," Ash said. He shook his head, fighting a small grin as he gathered up his keys and jacket on the desk.

"Dream on."

"Just leave, cranky pants. I can handle your patients and urgent care. It closes early on Fridays anyways."

He paused, glancing at her before pulling his phone out. No response yet.

"You sure?"

"Wouldn't offer if I wasn't. Besides, you can buy me lunch all next week."

"And me, too! For all the shit you put me through!" Jack yelled from her station, phone handset between her ear and shoulder. She went back to jabbering at whoever was on the phone.

"Deal. What would I do without you ladies?" he said, tossing his coat over his arm and grabbing his keys. He squeezed Ash's arm in thanks. She grinned and followed him out to the pod.

"Oh, I dunno...fall apart some days?"

"Ain't that the truth…" he said, swatting Jack gently upside the head. "Behave while I'm gone, huh? Don't antagonize Miranda."

"You're no fun, Doc. Good luck. Hope it works out with whoever it is. I don't think I can take you moping and pouting and giving everyone puppy-dog eyes while you heal from a broken heart and have to jerk one in your office while listening to Adele."

"You and me both…" he tossed over his shoulder. Ashley leaned on the nurse's station while Jack blinked in astonishment, hand slowly dropping the phone.

"I can't believe he didn't say anything about the masturbation thing," she said, dumbfounded.

Ash grinned.

"I know, right? Not even an eye roll. So who's first?"

* * *

" _Shepard...John, it's...it's Kaidan. Please pick up. I think we both need to talk. Just...call me back...please."_

Shepard listened to the message again, wrapped up in the knit blanket on his couch. He couldn't bear to go to the bedroom; the bed was neatly made, but it still smelled like Kaidan and sex. It was bad enough he kept flashing back to memories of the night before. Kaidan had also apparently cleaned the kitchen and straightened up a few things around the apartment before he left, too. Shepard wasn't messy by any means, but the surgical precision and cleanliness must've been a habit for Kaidan at this point. No wonder. He heaved a sigh, thumbs hovering over the haptic keyboard on his phone. He felt like he should at least text _something_ , but he had no idea what to say.

Boo rustled around in the plastic tubes in the hall, interrupting his thoughts.

"You're opinion doesn't count, Boo...doesn't matter that he filled your water."

More skittering around in the tubes. Shepard draped himself over the back of his couch, watching the little, black ball of fluff move pieces of hay.

"Well, you don't have to be so insistent about it. It's just...I don't...why wouldn't he say anything? I bet he wasn't even a Marine..." he finished lamely. He tried silencing the voice in his head that said he was just as at fault since they both didn't say anything. His phone buzzed.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _15:27:_ John, I hope you're ok... I understand if you don't want to talk. Hopefully we can meet up at some point so I can try to explain and at least give you back your shirt and mug.

Shepard stared at it numbly, then started to type.

* * *

 _ **Shepard**_ _15:32:_ hey

 _ **Shepard**_ _15:34:_ I'm alright. I just didn't know what to do

 _ **Shepard**_ _15:34:_ Still don't, really

 _ **Kaidan**_ _15:34:_ hey there. Glad you're doing ok; I was worried :(

 _ **Kaidan**_ _15:35:_ ...kinda took us both by surprise I guess

 _ **Kaidan**_ _15:47:_ can I call?

 _ **Shepard**_ _15:48:_ i don't think that's a good idea right now

 _ **Kaidan**_ _15:51:_ ok, Shepard.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _15:54:_ just...please be careful. call me when you're ready. Even if you don't want to see me again, know that I still care

Kaidan watched his phone for any type of response. Nothing. He decided to go for a run to try and escape his own messy thoughts and try to forget about the last 24 hours. It was difficult; he kept replaying certain parts of it over and over in his mind. It didn't help him feel any better, particularly when he got the sensory memory of falling asleep together with their legs tangled and arms around each other.

He finished stretching and started off around his neighborhood at an easy clip; just fast enough to get his blood pumping a bit. The way his pulse quickened whenever he thought of Shepard lately. He shook his head at himself and decided to increase the speed. Kaidan wasn't sure he could do a six-minute mile anymore, but it was worth seeing how close he could get.

At the next streetlight, he pushed himself into a higher speed. It still wasn't the fastest he could go but it made him concentrate more on controlling his breathing. _In, two three, out, two three._ The rhythm of his footfalls soothed him and let his mind start wandering again.

Kaidan had to concentrate on controlling his breathing last night, too; otherwise it would have been a short evening. He felt his cheeks and neck flush hot. He probably should have pushed Shepard for more details about where he worked, the more he thought about it. Stupid move on his end. Didn't feel stupid in the slightest last night with Shepard's hands and mouth on him, though.

Faster. He needed to stop thinking. He doubled his effort and started sprinting, blood pounding in his ears. His breath rasped in his chest. Bright blue eyes chased him in his mind.

 _Shepard._

A cat streaked across the street, startling him and making him stumble and roll his ankle. Kaidan managed to catch himself before he fell, but it wasn't graceful by any means. He bent over, hands on his knees as he panted. Physical pain wouldn't distract him for too long, he noted ruefully. He started walking back to his neighborhood, testing his ankle.

Thank god nobody he knew saw that. He'd have to remember to tell Shepard about it-

Or not. Depended on if he would give him the time of day ever again. He sighed and turned down a shortcut. Now his ankle _and_ his legs would be sore the next few days. Served him right.

* * *

"Seriously, Garrus...I don't know what to do. About work, Doctor...Alenko, any of it."

Shepard paced around his sparse living room in his pajamas, cell phone on speaker. He managed to brave the bedroom long enough to change and make sure Boo had enough food. Looks like that was another thing Kaidan took care of. Dr. Alenko. Michael. Whatever the fuck his name actually was.

"I wouldn't make any rash decisions just yet. You don't know what he's going to do. Have you talked to him at all?"

Garrus' voice sounded garbled through the phone, voices and general din only exacerbating it.

"Nothing except a few texts."

"What?"

"I said, ' _Nothing except a few texts._ ' Where are you, anyway? You sound like you're in a stadium."

"Oh, uh...out. With some friends…" The receiver was muffled for a moment. "No, Tali, you can't steal the phone. Yes, it's 'girl talk'. No, I don't care that I'm not a girl. Go get another round...double the order of straws if you must." The phone had a burst of noise again and then his voice came back a little clearer. "Sorry about that. Tali says, 'Hi.'"

"Hello back," Shepard said dully. "So who else did Joker tell?"

"Just me. I had no idea a doctor would be interested in video games. Though I suppose it could happen. They have to have a life outside of work. I just always pictured them as having dinner parties and high society things."

"I wouldn't know the first thing about that shit. Kaidan always seemed pretty down-to-earth."

" _Kaidan_ , huh? Back to calling him by that?" Garrus asked shrewdly. "That's telling."

"Fuck, Garrus. That's how I know him. 'Dr. Alenko' just is weird and formal, and I can't process 'Michael'. What else should I call him?"

"Probably a better question for him to answer. Once you actually grow a pair and talk to him."

Shepard flopped on the couch with a huff, wrapping the blanket around himself again. He fought against the idea of it being a certain pair of arms.

"I'm hanging up now. You're going to call your boyfriend and kiss and make-up and probably have hot make-up sex. And I am going to try and control the damage done by a certain software specialist on my bar tab. Deal?"

He couldn't help smiling in spite of himself. Tali was jabbering away in the background, Garrus trying to convince her to slow down.

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Ambiguously interested other party, then. Call him anyway."

"No promises. Thanks."

"Anytime. No Shepard without Vakarian, right?"

"Wish I'd known you when I served...we'd have been unstoppable."

"I already told you, the world wasn't ready for that level of awesome. See you, Shepard."

The silence was thick after the cacophony over the phone. Shepard was unsure of what he wanted to do next. He wanted to talk to Kaidan, but he wasn't certain what he would even say. He wanted to go to bed, but his own memories wouldn't let him rest. Boo had scurried off to run in his wheel, so he wasn't even around to talk to. He heaved another sigh and turned on his console. Maybe a single player campaign of Halo would distract him.


	12. Doctor's Orders

_**Private Practice**_ , by potionsmaster

Rating: M, for more smuttiness, lol

Summary: Apologies abounds

A/N: And the thrilling conclusion! Thanks for reading and staying with me on the journey. I've never written an AU before. It's been fun. And since I know there's at least one person who wants to see the story continue, that's reason enough to post the next pieces in this universe. The story continues in 'Art Appreciation'.

 **Trigger warnings** for homophobia and the military

* * *

 **Chapter 12** : _Doctor's Orders_

Kaidan tossed and turned. He just couldn't get comfortable; a few hours of fitful sleep had helped pass the time a bit, but there was no way he was getting a decent night's rest. Oh well; at least he wasn't on call this weekend. The nightstand lit up and buzzed next to him. He fumbled for his pager, swearing. He must have cursed himself by thinking about it.

The nightstand buzzed again and a thought struck him: his pager wouldn't light up the room that bright. He snatched his reading glasses from the nightstand and grabbed his cell phone, scarcely daring to breathe.

Two new texts messages.

He squinted at his clock. 01:24. There were only a handful of people who would try to contact him at zero-dark-thirty. He unlocked his phone and looked at the text log.

 _ **Shepard**_ _01:21:_ hey...you up?

 _ **Shepard**_ _01:23:_ if not, that's ok

Kaidan hastily typed out a reply, heart thumping in his chest.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _01:25:_ Yeah

 _ **Kaidan**_ _01:25:_ what's up?

 _ **Shepard**_ _01:29:_ not much. thinking

 _ **Kaidan**_ _01:36:_ can I ask what about?

 _ **Shepard**_ _01:37:_ about earlier today

 _ **Kaidan**_ _01:38:_ AH. Yeah, me too :(

 _ **Shepard**_ _01:42:_ I'm not bothering you, am i?

 _ **Kaidan**_ _01:42:_ *never*

 _ **Kaidan**_ _01:43:_ I figured I should leave you be, though...give you the space you needed

 _ **Shepard**_ _01:45:_ that's very nice of you, Doctor A.

Kaidan winced at that as he typed out his response. That didn't sound promising.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _01:46:_ you can still call me Kaidan, you know...Unless it's too weird

 _ **Shepard**_ _01:47:_ k

 _ **Kaidan**_ _01:49:_ I really wasn't expecting you to be up

 _ **Shepard**_ _01:51:_ can I call?

Maybe things weren't as lost as he thought. He held his breath, heart skipping a beat.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _01:52:_ always

A minute later his phone buzzed again. He swallowed as he swiped the screen to answer.

"Hey, Shepard…" he said softly.

"Hey…"

"You seemed as surprised as I was. I'm sorry it happened. You sure you're doing ok?" He shifted, sitting up against his headboard with a pillow propped behind him.

"I'll be fine. I just...I gotta know."

"You can ask anything; you know I'll answer."

"How the fuck did this happen?"

Kaidan could picture him pacing around, running a hand over his buzzed hair and felt a twinge in his gut.

"That's…kind of a loaded question. You mean literally 'how' or…"

"Well, I can take a guess as to the actual 'how'. I never specifically told you where I worked. But you didn't tell me you were a goddamn _doctor_ , either. Of all the - I feel so stupid. I should have put it together."

A sigh gusted over the receiver. Kaidan plucked at his comforter.

"Shepard, please try to understand. I don't tell _anybody_ I'm a doctor. It gets...complicated."

"How?" the other man demanded.

"Well, usually it's met with, 'Oh really? Can you diagnose this? Can you tell me how to treat that? Do they actually have a class that teaches bad handwriting? Why does this procedure cost so much? If I see you in the office, does that mean because I know you I won't get charged?' I avoid a lot of problems just by not saying anything."

Shepard scoffed.

"Hardly seems like that should be the primary reason, but ok. I guess I see your point. It'd be annoying."

"Not to mention inviting a lawsuit if I give anything like an opinion and the person winds up not seeking adequate treatment because of it. Like I said...it's just easier to let people speculate."

"Why the false name, then? Why not introduce yourself as 'Michael', or 'Mike'?"

Kaidan bit his bottom lip, trying not to smile.

"Ah, that is, uh...personal preference. Middle name is 'Kaidan'. I use my full name professionally, but all my close friends and family go by my middle name. You can call me whatever is most comfortable for you, John. Anything you want."

Silence on the other end for a little bit.

"You know your nickname is 'Dr. Amazing' in the phone room?"

"No! That's, uh, that's a new one…" he chuckled. "Dare I ask what's so amazing?"

Shepard huffed a small breath and Kaidan heard him settling into something.

"General consensus is that he's pretty good looking, but I have it on good authority that his eyes are rather nice."

"Is that so."

"Great ass, too."

"Uh-huh, I'm sure!" Kaidan laughed again, "Now you can go back and confirm the speculation, if you want."

Shepard paused and Kaidan could sense the tone of the conversation drop again. He slapped himself on the forehead.

"Yeah, about that...do I still have a job?"

"Why wouldn't you? You didn't do anything wrong. Not like you're fired or anything. That I know of, anyway. There's no reason to."

A frustrated sigh came over the phone.

"I just...something seems wrong about it. I mean, I fucked one of my bosses. Seems like a conflict of interest."

Kaidan cringed at that.

"Well, technically you work for the practice, not me specifically. Whatever money I bring in by practicing here goes towards the business, along with all the other doctors. So I indirectly contribute to your paycheck, but...not important." He rubbed his temple. "We potentially have another issue, though...It could be construed that I abused my power and authority and coerced you into bed with me."

Shepard made a disgusted noise. Kaidan could practically hear his eyes rolling.

"You and I _both_ know that's not what happened."

"Yeah, but office gossips love a scandal."

"So what do we do?" There was a pleading note to the voice on the other end.

"Well...I'm not exactly in the position to leave the practice. And you can work there as long as you want. If you don't want to, of course you're welcome to leave, too. Jack would miss throwing pens at the phone whenever you call down, though."

"Oh, _fuck_ , does _she_ know?" Panic was starting to rise in Shepard's voice.

"No! God, no! She doesn't know who you are, only that I've been seeing someone lately. That's it." More strained silence on the other end.

"John?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Still trying to think."

"Mmkay…" Kaidan shifted against the headboard again and took off his glasses. "Anything else you want to ask?"

"You getting tired, Doctor?" came the biting response.

"It _is_ past two in the morning. Though I wasn't really sleeping, anyway."

A small snort this time.

"You in bed?"

"Yeah. Kinda wish you were here with me, but I get it. You?"

"Ehm, not really?" Kaidan pursed his lips. That stung.

"Meaning I'm not in bed. It, um...still smells like you. And I don't know if I'm ready to...deal with it yet."

"Guess I can understand that," he said tightly.

"Look, I...I'm just...still trying to wrap my head around it all. Stuff like this doesn't happen to guys like me."

"I can understand that, too."

"You pretty much lied to me from the start. You lied about your job, your lied about your name...what else are you lying about?"

"Hey! I did not _lie_ …"

"Lies by omission are still lies."

"Guess you got me there," Kaidan sighed, rubbing a hand across his eyes tiredly.

"Were you even with the Marines? Or was that another lie just to get me to talk to you?"

"That's another complicated answer."

He heard Shepard give an exasperated 'hmph'.

"I got all night, _Doctor._ " The scathing tone hurt.

"I _did_ tell you I was with the Marines. Again, it's just easier if I put it that way."

"What were you actually, then?"

"Navy. Same as you."

"But why _say_ that, then?" Shepard was starting to get louder with his frustration.

"Because technically I _was_ with the Marines. I'm not a Marine myself; I was just stationed with a platoon of them. I was their medic. You can't be a Marine and a 'non-combatant'."

Silence.

"Understand?"

More silence.

"Shepard?"

"Yeah, I get it. Hospital Corpsman, right?"

"Yeah. 'Every Marine a rifleman' and all that shit."

"You're a tough sonuvabitch, I'll give you that."

Kaidan snorted.

"Why, thank you…?"

"No, I mean it," Shepard said, a thread of admiration in his voice now. "Those are some pretty harsh standards you had to go by...do their boot camp, carry 50 lbs extra weight, do med checks while they got water breaks...You basically had to out-Marine the fuckin' Marines."

He outright laughed at that, sliding down into the bed on his side, cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder while he got comfortable.

"I suppose that's one way of looking at it. But I think you're exaggerating a bit."

"Nope. I know I'm not. I looked at that career path. To hell with it; seemed like an uphill battle."

"No joke, it wasn't easy. But the first time your squad calls you 'doc' and someone shares their water ration with you is pretty memorable." He rolled on his back, free hand resting on his stomach and playing with the hair around his bellybutton. It was just a small fantasy that his own fingers were Shepard's and they were talking in bed next to each other instead on the phone.

"What're you doing right now?" he asked quietly after a pause. Shepard exhaled sharply.

"Getting into bed."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Starting to get tired."

"That's good, I guess. Did you have anything else you wanted to talk or ask about?"

"Thanks for taking care of Boo this morning. You didn't have to."

"John," he teased gently, "We've been over this. I know I didn't _have_ to. I wanted to. Same as you didn't _have_ to let me stay over, or borrow your shirt and mug. Speaking of which, I didn't get a chance to wash it yet. The mug's clean, though."

Shepard made a noncommittal noise as he rustled his bedclothes.

"Do you want it back?"

"At some point. My closet is sparse enough."

"Okay. Though if I'm being honest, I would much rather keep it in my closet and it still belongs to you."

"Uh….Thanks, I guess." Shepard sounded like he was trying not to be pleased. Kaidan smiled to himself.

"For what it's worth, I really liked wearing it today. It still has your scent in it. Made me happy."

"My pillow reminds me of you." Shepard's voice was a little muffled.

"Mm. That's a good thing."

"Yeah...I will probably have some interesting dreams tonight because of it."

"I would say that's a distinct possibility," Kaidan murmured into the phone. He entertained the idea of letting his fingers drift lower.

"Hey Kaidan?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks…"

He readjusted the phone, brow furrowed.

"For what?"

"Just...for...letting me vent at you, I guess. Talking. Giving me answers."

"Oh! You're welcome. I meant what I said this morning, you know...when I said I really liked you and I hoped it was the start of something good for us."

There was a brief pause as more cloth rustling came over the phone.

"Me too."

"If you want, I can stop by tomorrow...go get lunch?"

"I wouldn't be opposed...if you wanted to, I mean."

Kaidan huffed a soft laugh.

"I'd like that."

"Alright. I guess I'm done for the moment. Unless you got anything?" He wasn't sure if he was imagining the hopeful lilt in the question.

"No, I think I'm good...better now that we've cleared the air. Do you feel better?"

"Uh, yeah...yeah, I think so. I'm still pissed, but I'll get over it. I still don't know what to do about the job, though. It just wouldn't be right for me to stay."

"Well, there's that, then. What can I do to help you not be so pissed? Is it still something I did or said?"

"Not exactly. More pissed at myself for not seeing it. If it was a trap, I didn't see it coming; just like last time."

"Please don't think it was a trap. It wasn't; just...weird circumstances. Care to tell me what happened?"

Shepard heaved a sigh and shifted again, hesitating.

"You remember me telling you I was medically discharged? And I thought it was trumped up?"

"Yeah..."

Muffled rustling again. Kaidan grimaced and pulled his cell away from his ear a bit.

"It sounds like a herd of antelope are running over shag carpet; what are you doing?"

"...Interesting mental picture, but I'm, um...trying to get comfortable."

"I don't remember your bed being all that uncomfortable, really. What're you _actually_ doing?"

Shepard muttered to himself through more bedclothes shifting.

"I'm...god, it's pathetic, um...I'm. Hugging the pillow, if you must know," came the indignant response. Kaidan grinned, warmth spreading through him. "Stop smiling."

"You can't see me, how do you know if I'm smiling?"

"You're the sappy type who would smile. So stop it." It was punctuated with a muffled 'whump'.

"...did you just punch the pillow?"

"Yep. Easier to fold in half."

"Ah. You're avoiding the topic, you know."

"You side-tracked me."

Kaidan exhaled slowly, thinking about his next words.

"I'll own it; I did. My fault, I'm sorry. Anyway, I do remember you telling me about your CO and you thought he had a hand in it."

"No, I _know_ he had a hand in it. Fucking Staff Commander Kai Leng. Like I said, I was on the fast track for a career officer. I was being groomed for lieutenant commander; would've been promoted this year. It came to his attention that I wasn't as interested in women as the other guys, and he just waited for an opportunity to use it against me. He was constantly harassing me about it, too. Lewd remarks, calling me 'princess', that type of thing."

Kaidan furrowed his brows, listening. "Don't ask, don't tell" was still very much in effect, even though legally it wasn't. He had been lucky to keep under the radar himself. Being bisexual helped in that regard for once; if pressed, he had a few girlfriends in his past he talked about. Other service members he knew weren't so fortunate. His heart sank that Shepard was among them.

"Well, shit…"

"Yeah, tell me about it. I never did anything I wasn't supposed to. But my knee and shoulder started giving me problems after a particularly rough mission, so he put the papers in for medical discharge. And cited homosexual behavior. My case manager fought against it in all her reports, but he had to submit his own, too. I was lucky it wasn't dishonorable discharge...He knew how to play the board, I'll give him that. Easy enough when it's a bunch of close-minded, old assholes making the decisions."

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I wish it didn't happen like that…" he said softly. Shepard sighed again.

"Not your fault; you had nothing to do with it. But it kinda makes me a bit cautious. And I can't seem to shake it, since, y'know, this is my _job_ we're talking about...I don't have anything to fall back on right now. I still don't see how I can do anything but quit."

"Don't make any snap judgements. We can talk to Pressly in HR and see what options are available. Pretty sure they won't have a problem with it if you're not dealing with scheduling patients for everyone. Maybe there's a job available that forces you to be non-partial."

Shepard blew a short breath out, then said glumly, "I don't really have experience with anything else at this point."

"John. That's not true and you know it. And it's late, which never helps." Shepard scoffed. "You know what does?" Kaidan made his voice low and sultry.

"What?" came the somewhat testy reply. Kaidan licked his lips and dipped his fingers below the drawstring of his pajama pants, following the soft trail of dark hair down.

"Stress relief. Doctor's orders."

"Aww, god, Kaidan, _really_? Now that it's finally out in the open, am I constantly going to get sarcastic doctor advice?"

"Mmm…no. Not saying it will absolutely never happen, but I can tell you what I'm thinking about right now. And maybe you'll get some thoughts of your own."

"Oh?" Shepard feigned disinterest. "What're you thinking about right now, _Kaidan_?"

"I am thinking about a few things. Namely what it feels like to be touching you."

"Really."

"Mmhm. Really."

"Any place in particular?"

Kaidan let his eyes flutter shut, cupping himself in his hand and feeling the growing hardness.

"Sort of all over...can't decide what I like touching the best. Your stomach, your arms...lower down…"

Shepard coughed lightly.

"You're an evil distraction. Here I was, trying to be all mopey, and you're putting thoughts and images in my head."

"Ah-ha...so it's working?" Kaidan said, letting his voice drop an octave.

"Maybe."

"Well, I can tell you with some certainty that it _is_ working for me, and I will be sleeping better for it tonight."

Shepard chuckled and Kaidan heard the bedclothes rustling again.

"You're not right, anybody ever tell you that?"

"Hey, I'm following doctor's orders! They just...happen to be issued by me, too." The silence was comfortable now, pleasant fatigue settling over them both.

"So what're you thinking about now?" Shepard said quietly after a moment.

"I am picturing your face from last night, and remembering your hands on me."

"...And?"

"And what?" he teased, "Did you want to talk some more?"

"Fuck you, Kaidan," Shepard retorted, words softened by affection.

"You definitely did last night," he murmured into the phone, sliding his hand along himself. Shepard coughed again, amused.

"I kept thinking about it all morning...and this afternoon. I couldn't get you out of my head...What was the best part for you?" Shepard asked, voice straining a little as he moved into a better position. Kaidan hummed over the line.

"Lots of things. Can't choose just one. _Uhhhh_ …remembering your lips around me. Hands on my thighs. You sliding between me… _god_ …" he breathed, circling his thumb around the head, teasing himself. Shepard's voice was a little strained.

"I'm remembering you," he said, "with your head thrown back and me inside you? And feeling you around me… _damn_. Not something I can easily forget."

"Does that mean you're following my advice?"

Shepard groaned before answering.

"Who'm I to deny sound medical advice?"

"I want to hear you, John…"

" _Fuck_ …" The breathing on the other end of the phone became louder and rhythmic.

"Can you imagine my hand on you instead of yours?"

"You're going to be the end of me, _ahhh_..." came the strained, breathless response.

"Mmm...that's the idea. Because I am picturing you, one hand working _me_ , the other one cupping just beneath and rolling them in your hand...feels so good, John…"

A strangled moan came over the phone, only adding to the fantasy. The panting increased on Shepard's end and Kaidan moved his own hand to match it.

"I keep seeing you riding me last night...running my hand up your leg and around you...feeling you tight around me - Jeezuz- _fuck_ … _Kaaaidan…!_ " he heard a sharp inhale, then a quiet moan. A few quick strokes later and he followed.

" _GOD_ , John, _hhhhngh_!" He curled in on himself, riding the aftershocks.

After a moment of catching their breath, Shepard huffed a quiet laugh.

"I guess I will sleep better now...what d'you know."

"Excellent...Sleep well and I will text you or call you tomorrow?"

"Mm. I can live with that. G'night, Kaidan."

"Good night, John. See you later," he said sleepily. He couldn't open his eyes if he wanted to at the moment.

"Count on it."

Kaidan drifted off with his phone still in his hand.

* * *

Shepard woke up mid-morning, sprawled face-first across the bed. He had partially wrapped himself around the pillow Kaidan had slept on, one leg hanging off the edge of the mattress. Boo was running in his wheel again.

"Keep it down, will ya?" he grumbled at the hamster as he fumbled for his phone. He usually didn't allow himself to sleep in this late. 1045. No texts or missed calls. His ears flushed a bit as he remembered scraps from earlier that morning. He couldn't believe how late the conversation with Kaidan ended, or that Kaidan had actually talked to him. The end of the conversation had been an unexpected surprise, too, and a very nice bonus.

The scent of the other man in the pillow was fading. Shepard sighed to himself and rolled onto his back, resigned to the fact that after the past two nights activities, laundry was an absolute must. And so was a shower. He peered down at himself ruefully. Definitely needed a shower. His phone buzzed.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _10:57:_ Hey Shepard :)

 _ **Kaidan**_ _10:57:_ How'd you sleep?

A flush of warmth spread from his stomach. He ran his tongue over the point of one of his canines while he typed back.

 _ **Shepard**_ _10:58:_ g'morning. Deep. How about yourself?

 _ **Kaidan**_ _10:59:_ Pretty damn good if I do say so myself.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _11:01:_ figure i'll be at your place a little before 12, if that's ok. Any ideas where you want to eat?

 _ **Shepard**_ _11:03:_ wherever is fine. I'm not picky

 _ **Kaidan**_ _11:04:_ Ok, I thin kI have an idea. Gotta stop somewhere first, then I'll be over.

 _ **Kaidan**_ _11:05:_ *think I. ducking auto caboose...make one mistake and it never forgets it...

 _ **Kaidan**_ _11:05:_ *fucking *autocucumber

 _ **Kaidan**_ _11:06:_ ….

 _ **Kaidan**_ _11:07:_ you know what I mean

 _ **Shepard**_ _11:10_ : lol. having difficulties, are we?

 _ **Kaidan**_ _11:11_ : yeah, yeah, laugh it up. see you in a few

Shepard shook his head and put the phone back on his nightstand, hauling himself out of bed. Time to hit the shower.

* * *

A quiet knock on the door sounded through the apartment and Shepard felt his stomach jump. Things were ok between him and Kaidan, but he was still nervous. He looked through the fisheye and saw Kaidan anxiously rubbing the back of his neck. Taking pity on him, Shepard opened the door. Kaidan's ears flushed as a sheepish smile spread on his face.

"Sorry I'm a little late," he apologized, handing a plastic bag to him. "I stopped and picked something up for Boo...hope you don't mind."

Shepard caught his hand before he let go of the bag and drew him closer. He pressed a gentle kiss against his full lips.

"No worries, I don't have anywhere to be."

The dark-haired man's blush spread from his ears to his cheeks as Shepard drew back and grinned at him as he pulled a package of flavored wooden chew sticks out.

"I was just about out of these. How'd you know?"

Kaidan shrugged, still pink in the face about the kiss.

"I didn't. But I know rodents have teeth that constantly grow and they need to be worn evenly. This is a way to let them take care of it. I just figured -"

"Kaidan…" he interrupted, tucking the bag and chew sticks on the table next to the door. He grabbed his jacket and keys off the hook.

"Yeah?"

"You're a dork. Thank you." Shepard pecked him on the cheek this time and locked his door, playfully elbowing the other man. Kaidan smiled shyly at him as they started walking down the hall. The grin spread when he felt the younger man's pinkie slip around his after a moment.

"You're welcome. Say, there's a little cafe over on the north side of town. Apollo's? Makes a really great steak sandwich…"

A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! I've never written an AU before, so I hope it was enjoyable and not too boring on all the medical junk. MWAH! Happy Big Bang ^_^


End file.
